no reason not to ttc but too scared even though i'm broody!

[Widget]

I'm in the same boat... I am broody a lot lately and it certainly changes with the company I am keeping. I am also wondering if it has anything to do with all the girls from my hometown being pregnant (Facebook doesn't help with all the baby bump pictures!!)

So we are technically ready. Our wedding is in less than two months... we have great careers, a new home, two dogs, and two new cars in the driveway. I am also broody and it is starting to rub off on my fiance. So what is stopping me? The fear of the unknown of course! As I go throughout my day I keep thinking about how I would work a baby into our schedule. So my fiance and I are on a bike ride? Oh, I can get one of those baby carriers! We're at the dog park with the pups? It would be perfect because I could carry the baby in a cute little sling while with the dogs.

My main concern is that I have a very demanding career in a male dominated field and I am the main breadwinner in our little family. I don't want that to ever change. I was raised in a very traditional family where my mother was a stay at home mom and my father worked a lot so he did not really do a lot of parenting... whenever I think about having children I panic because I do not want that life.

What gives me a lot of hope however is that two of my male co-workers with the same job as myself are very active in their childrens lives yet they are leaders in their field (they are the ones that take a vacation day when their little ones are sick instead of their wife doing it, they are the ones that drop off the kids at daycare and pick them up, and they are the ones that run out on their lunch breaks to take Junior to the dentist). They are really great about answering my questions on parenting with a demanding career and they also have proven to me that you can be an AWESOME parent while still taking care of your own career and needs.

Although whenever I feel like trying to conceive for real, I just compare myself to my mother and remember how she dropped everything for us... and that sacrifice scares me because I want the best of both worlds!

 

[shortie58]

Thanyou so much for posting this, I also feel the same as most of you I am just way to broody at the moment, I write down everything we will need for having a baby and how much it will cost,watch all the baby programmes on sky,bought 2 baby books the other day, and talk about it with my mum all the time.. When I first met my husband he was dead set against having children which really dissapointed me. But just recently he has turned a corner and agreed to start ttc as off next month.

So I come of my pill then and its all speed ahead. I am really excited to the point I cant sleep for thinking about it, and dreaming how I would hope the birth would be.. So my advice to you would be if it feels right to you then go for it. Good luck to all x

Lesleyxxxx

 

[pumpkim]

Go for it!

I'm scared and in the same boat as you (although slightly older). We'll do it together

oh.. and if you start a journal or a group, I'll join in

 

[mrsp3]

hey girlies, just to let you all know i've started a journal!! -'To ttc or not to ttc- that is the question!' anyway i'm missing hearing from all of you so please come and visit me in the journal section . hope you're all well and how are your progressions to ttc coming along? xx mrsp3

 

[Shrimpy]

I haven't read all the other replies so apologies if I repeat anyone!

We're about to start trying for our 3rd and final baby. My hubby said no more after 2 and I am still in shock he said yes. Originally we were going to start ttc in August but he asked me today why we were waiting, and that we should just start now. I am over the moon and soo excited, but, i'm terrified too. We have 2 girls already who are 3.5 and nearly 2, Hubby also has a 10 yr old son who visits weekly. 4 kids and Im only 27!! I'm Terrified and worried about having to buy a 7 seater car, fitting everyone in our 3 bedroom house when we have hubbys son over, having to redecorate and switch rooms about ... but although I'm terrified I know ultimately that everything will work itself out. Another little member of the family will completely outweight my irrational (and rational) fears and obsessions.

My mum has 5 kids and I truly bellive what she told me when I told her how I felt ...

"There is never a 'right' time to have children. They fit into your life, you work around them, they work around you, and ultimately you have your new way of doing things whether it be planned or not"

There will always be something that could stop you. But if you listen to your heart (I know cheese-o-rama) you will have your answer. Switch your brain off and go with instinct

Good Luck xx

 

[jomax]

This is the first time i've dropped into this forum as i'm normally flitting between the TTC and TWW. so glad to have found this thread because am having major doubts at the mo and i can't understand it because i've spent the last month obsessing about getting pregnant.

i think i'm so focussed on getting pregnant that when i actually sit down and think about having an actual baby it scares the hell out of me. i worry that we'll have to stop doing the things we enjoy. it sounds awful and i worry that maybe i'm too selfish to be a mother. but i think when the time comes you adapt to a different way of life.

However deep down i know what i want and my clock's been ticking for 7 years now so i'm going for it now that the time is right. i'm glad to know other people feel like this though. thanks for raising this....

 

[matsuken]

well,In my own opinion..

It's just normal,the way you feel..wanting to have a baby yet afraid.. It is really what women feel..

I have to agree with the others too, soon if you already feeling that 'someone' is in you,your fears would change into excitement and joy! fear would cross,but it will be nothing compared to the joy you'll be feeling!


Your future 'angels' would be so lucky to have a parent like you! Good luck and may you have a wonderful family!

 

[catfishes]

I also feel exactly the same! you're not alone!

 

[Mya209]

I'm gonna hopefully start ttc after my wedding in September. I've been off the pill since Jan/Feb but using contraception. I'm terrified now it's close. We have our own place, a cat, quite secure financially, no debts. My problem is I've always been 100% focussed om my education since I was very little and have made it into my dream career where I am doing well and progressing slowly. I still have so much I want to do in my career and am worried that it won't happen if I have to work part time or that child care will be too expensive if I work more hours. I really want a baby and the idea of waiting longer upsets me a lot. Hmm!