Normal 5 year old stuff, or something else going on?

[SarahBear]

Violet has been having more tantrums and attitude lately. She has also been frequently hitting when mad. I talked to her about it this evening and she was able to admit that she does feel like she's been getting mad more often lately. She said that she tries to be nice but that her body "tells her to be mean." I don't remember if she used that phrase in that context, but she said something like it during our conversation and the basic message was that she has been noticing that she has been having a hard time being "nice" despite wanting to be. She also commented that as she gets older, her thinking changes and that makes her mad. She is showing a lot of self-awareness around the whole issue. She'll also be 5 on the first of November. Is it "normal" for nearly 5 year olds to have increased difficulty with self regulation and mood? She also has epilepsy and is on medication for it and has been experiencing a growth spurt, so I didn't know if any of that could also be playing into things lately... anyway, thoughts?

 

[lindseymw]

When Jacob was 4/5 years old, his behaviour was atrocious. Very moody & stroppy, wouldn't listen or do anything we asked. After speaking with other parents in his class, it seemed to be the same with other kids.

It lasted around 6 months before he got better. He's back to his normal happy helpful self with the odd tantrum of course.

 

[Louise88]

My 5 year okd is very stroppy, not listening and telling me she can do something when I tell her she can't. Deffinatly trying to push boundaries and wanting to make her own rules and boundaries. I have read a few websites and seems to be a normal attitude for a 5 year old.

 

[Eleanor ace]

Yes, they seem to get a hormone surge around late 4's- 5 and can really struggle with being moody/angry/short tempered when they want to be "nice".

 

[SarahBear]

It thought it was "terrible twos," "threenagers," "f*ck fours," and "fantastic fives." Aren't five year olds supposed to be calming down and getting fewer tantrums, even if they do have a bit of an attitude? Violet had fairly "terrific" twos until her brother was born. Then she started having "issues" as she adjusted to having a brother. Then she went through a bit of a "crisis" as she realized she was getting older but didn't want to. I think things were calm for a bit somewhere in the middle of three for a period of time. Then she started calming down again right around 4. Then her behavior probably peaked for a few months right before seizures started at 4 years 2 months. Then we had a bunch of ups and downs related to dealing with figuring out her epilepsy. Now meds are stable and she's been seizure free for 6 months and behaviors are getting rocky again.

Edit: I guess we're still in the "f*ck fours" for another week and she wants it to go out with a bang .

 

[Zephram]

My son is the same. He’s turning 5 on 29 October and his behaviour lately has been challenging to say the least. He doesn’t listen and has started answering back and being stroppy and moody. Age 2 and 3 were a nightmare with him, but around the time he turned 4 he became significantly more reasonable and much calmer. The last few weeks he’s turned a new corner into what feels like bigger kid moodiness.

In talking to other parents it seems like there is a big attitude shift at around age 5 where they really leave the little kid years behind and start showing a new leap towards autonomy and being in charge of their worlds. For my son, I feel like his stroppiness comes from wanting to be independent but still being too young to really have that power over his life.

He is raring to go and wanting to have his opinion and his decisions rule the roost, and his behaviour is a result of not being able to do this fully because he’s too young and still has to get told what to do by Mum and Dad. I’ve also noticed his fussy eating has got slightly worse lately - it was pretty bad round age 2/3 but had got better around 4 - and I feel like he’s regressed a little in this area because he’s trying to control his world.

He’s also starting school next week and moving away from the preschool where he’s really ruled the roost the last year or so and I think these changes are part of what’s unsettling him as he’s admitted to feeling nervous about starting school.

 

[Reidfidleir]

Hi! I remember you while we were pregnant with our big kids. I’ve been away from here for a while. This is an older post but I’ve noticed the same thing with my son. But I thought it was just him. He’s been my biggest challenge. Ever since he turned about 1. We had a hard time from 12-18 months. Then terrible twos. Then treacherous threes. Everyone said 4 is great. No it wasn’t. He seems to be better in a few areas now that he is 5 but the attitude is a big deal. He wants to be in control of absolutely everything. And he uses phrases on us that we do on him as a parent as if he is giving US permission to do something!
It is very frustrating as this is not the way we are raising him to be. I don’t have aducción as he is my oldest and I’m still “ learning on him”. Glad to see we’re not alone!

 

[SarahBear]

I think Violet was perhaps not feeling well for a while. She seems to be leveling out for now at least. Now Leo seems to be hitting the "terrible twos!"