Normal to feel nothing after dreading the "due date"?

[motherearth23]

Hi there, I lost my first back in May. I was so excited to get my first scan at 9 weeks, and it discovered that my baby was nearly 6 weeks behind developmentally and had no heartbeat. It was awful, because the whole pregnancy had been a surprise that was not necessarily coming at the right time, but I had definitely come to terms with it and really wanted my baby. The whole summer was tinged with feelings of blame on OH for not wanting the baby originally, and for myself for not being excited at first. By September, I was quite depressed, and was dreading 12/27/12, the anticipated due date.

Then, out of nowhere, I became pregnant again in the end of October. OH had come to realize his loss of our first (he was slow to process, which had meant I grieved alone for most of the summer). This time around, both of us reacted differently. Our home situation was much more stable than it was back in April. Our relationship had grown so much, a lot of which I feel wouldn't have happened if I had been pregnant all along. This pregnancy has been much different than the last. Lots of symptoms, tons of nausea in the first trimester. Had a prenatal appointment, baby is healthy.

Yesterday, December 27th came and went. At the end of the day, I did remember what event was supposed to be occurring, but for some reason I did not feel sad or angry or anything. I am so surprised at how becoming pregnant again has completely rid me of my grief. I feel like this new life is meant to be, and that it was the universe's plan for me all along.

Has anyone else had this experience? Of being so sad and depressed, thinking the due date would make you fall apart... then falling pregnant before it arrives? I hope I'm not a bad person for feeling this way :/

 

[Tournesol]

Of course you're not a bad person. I know exactly what you're saying.
My first due date will be in March, but it wasn't meant to be. I'm not even sure of the exact date, so I can't be too sad when it comes around.

I was lucky enough to get pregnant straight after my MC, so my next due date is in May. I've just been focusing on that.

Wishing you a very healthy and happy pregnancy. I hope you're over your MS, I had it up until 19w!

 

[motherearth23]

Mine was over by 10 weeks, I feel lucky! Sorry yours was so prolonged! I definitely feel like this pregnancy was meant to be. We are still very low income, but we live in an apartment that is meant for low budget families and couples. We will be so much more prepared than last time, when we were just about the move across the country with no planned place to live.

I know I'm not a bad person, I shouldn't have said that. But I definitely find it odd that I was not sad at all yesterday when a few months ago I would cry my eyes out thinking of the due date. But time heals everything, I am just glad that this baby is healthy. I am so excited to meet him/her, nothing can dampen my spirits lately!

 

[Tournesol]

I'm glad you're feeling so positive, it's good for you and for baby.

What's happened has happened, you can't change it, so there's no point dwelling on the past.

Maybe you weren't sad on the due date because you know it wasn't meant to be. It doesn't mean you've forgotten your last baby, but your priorities have changed now. This baby is what matters at the moment. x

 

[nabo86]

Hi

I know exactly how you feel. i had a mmc in May and I was dreading my due date which should have been Nov 16th - we tried everything we could to get pregnant again as I felt there was no way i could get through the day if i wasn't...

when the day came my DH took the day off work, i decided to go in to work to keep things as normal as possible and keep myself busy. My DH picked me up after work and we went for a walk next to the beach.

Although i had dreaded the day i think i coped well and it was good to take some time to remember the baby i didn't get to meet as we had been very distracted with the new baby for a few weeks. I didn't get upset as i thought i would and almost felt a little bit of closure if that makes sense...

I hope everything goes well this time xx