Not an easy decision...

[AJH]

Hey people!
I'm 18 and got myself into the situation of being pregnant, however it wasn't planned and i'm still not 100% sure what i want. I know the options but it's not that easy to just pick one and be done with it. My story is that it was a one night stand, however slutty that sounds it actually wasn't given the circumstances but the dad doesn't want to know... My family know, my mum and sister are very supportive, my mum even said "i'm ready to be a nan" and my dad said he would support me either way i decide to go even though i know deep down he would want me to have a termination. I'm so ridiculously worried about what my friends would say and i don't know why. Well i do; they're my friends. I can't help that i'm being selfish either as i still want to go out partying and that as i've not long been 18 even though my mum said i still can if i wanted to when the baby was here even though i know deep down i won't want to leave it. I'm not really sure why i'm writing on here, i just wanted your opions i suppose about whether anything went through your head when you found out you was pregnant or whether you knew staright away that you wanted to have the child?

Any advice is much appreciated!

 

[Mumma2B2010]

We're not allowed to talk about abortions but I knew straight away I couldn't get rid

 

[Pixxie]

We arnt allowed to discuss terminations.

Personally (and I dont mean to sound harsh) I think if you made the decision to have unprotected sex, you should face up to the results. Good luck with whatever you decide x

 

[rockys-mumma]

I still wanted to go out and party! But slowly as the life inside me grew, i felt more and more attached to him and like when i felt the first kicks and then the big boots in the rib when i was near the end the love was so strong and I hadn't even met him! and now that he is here and has been for the last 5 months, i have rarely felt the need to go out and party, he is everything i want and need. Even when I am in a bad mood, he makes me smile and makes my life worth living! (Sorry im in a soppy mood, but its true haha!)
I love my little man so much and would not want life any other way. You are not too young to have a baby. I was 19 when i fell pregnant so an older teen like yourself and you will be treated as an adult in terms of benifits/healthcare etc.
Once your baby comes along you realise what is meaningful in life, and its certainly not going out on the piss and not remembering it and having to piece it together the morning after, as much as i thought that was great before bubs lol.

Are you at college or are you working? Its great that you have support from your family

 

[AJH]

Ohh that sounds so nice! I reckon my frame of mind will change whilst carrying it. I've already looked at prams and things like that. Phwor so expensive haa. I've finished college now so just working at the mo x

 

[Xrachybabex]

i was 18 in nov and found out in dec i was preg, even tho i wanted go out have fun i wanted my baby more and could never have a termination even tho babys dad was begging me 2 xx

 

[LoisP]

Firstly, let me say your very lucky to have such a supportive family. Alot of girls who have/are going to read your post, probably didn't get that kind of reaction. So that's one thing to think about, the fact you quite obviously have a family that will help and support you through this. Also, as someone else pointed out, we don't talk about abortions on here. The decision is yours, you can't really ask people what you should do, as it's very irresponsible. Say all of us turned round and say 'get a termination' would you? Or even if we all say keep the baby, you probably won't listen. You got yourself into this, now you need to decide what is best for you AND your baby. You really should of used protection, especially with a one night stand. Anyways... Congratulations on your pregnancy, having a child is a beautiful thing.

 

[rjb]

Firstly, let me say your very lucky to have such a supportive family. Alot of girls who have/are going to read your post, probably didn't get that kind of reaction. So that's one thing to think about, the fact you quite obviously have a family that will help and support you through this. Also, as someone else pointed out, we don't talk about abortions on here. The decision is yours, you can't really ask people what you should do, as it's very irresponsible. Say all of us turned round and say 'get a termination' would you? Or even if we all say keep the baby, you probably won't listen. You got yourself into this, now you need to decide what is best for you AND your baby. You really should of used protection, especially with a one night stand. Anyways... Congratulations on your pregnancy, having a child is a beautiful thing.

WSS

 

[divershona]

Firstly, let me say your very lucky to have such a supportive family. Alot of girls who have/are going to read your post, probably didn't get that kind of reaction. So that's one thing to think about, the fact you quite obviously have a family that will help and support you through this. Also, as someone else pointed out, we don't talk about abortions on here. The decision is yours, you can't really ask people what you should do, as it's very irresponsible. Say all of us turned round and say 'get a termination' would you? Or even if we all say keep the baby, you probably won't listen. You got yourself into this, now you need to decide what is best for you AND your baby. You really should of used protection, especially with a one night stand. Anyways... Congratulations on your pregnancy, having a child is a beautiful thing.

couldn't of put it better myself

 

[trumpetbum]

I think having a supportive family is the most important factor in being able to make the decision that is right for you. If you are still unsure of how you feel about having a baby then the best thing to do is get some impartial counselling and advice from your local family planning service.
Just know that if you choose to continue with your pregnany, you CAN make a great job of it and it doesn't have to mean the end of everything that is enjoyable about being a teen especially with a good support network around you.
Good luck.

 

[Desi's_lost]

Using the tactic a church lady used unneccesarily on me the other day, try looking up pictures of what aborted babys look like and ask yourself can you seriously accept making that choice? Think long term instead of in the now, otherwise you may make a decision that you will regret later in life. Everyone makes mistakes, and you just have to make the best of it!
Good luck hun!

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

We shouldn't discuss abortions

I would keep the baby as you have a VERY supportive family. You were responisble enough to have sex so I think you should stand up to that. (Sounds harsh i don't mean it to be)
XX

 

[pinkribbon]

At the end of the day it is your life and therefore your decision. It's something you have to decide on your own. As others have said you have to face the consequences of your actions and live with whichever decision you make. I wouldn't judge someone for choosing either option, but I personally wouldn't be able to face getting rid. I know someone who did thinking that'd be the end of it, but she regrets her decision and is haunted by the choice she made. Then again I know someone who says she doesn't regret it at all. I don't think we're meant to even discuss it so I'll leave it there.

 

[AngelzTears]

I don't think I could live with the regret if I said goodbye to my baby in that way.. I had a really hard time dealing with the fact that I was pregnant and constantly said things like "I don't want to have a baby!" for the first 16 weeks of my pregnancy. But Now I'm about to give birth and I already love my baby soo much! I would be devastated if she were not a part of my life. I think having her happen has given me more purpose in life, something much bigger than just randomly going out in the town for myself. Good luck hun!

 

[Tanara]

Just because your pregnant doesnt mean you cant go out and attend partys with friends, i still go to the bar and to parties, i just dont drink. I have just as much fun if not more.

 

[fantastica]

Tbh...I think if there are doubts and you're already looking at prams then you might be leaning one way. It's your choice, and your choice only...but it's an important one, so think carefully, i'm sure whatever you decide will be the right decision for you.

Here if you want to chat about anything! x

 

[Leanne1990x]

Hello, i fell pregnant just before i turned 18 and i wasnt sure about it at first, people were telling me diffrent things on what to do but it doesnt change anything, the only person that can make that descion is you. About a month after i found out i finished with my bf and it made me even more scared the thought of being a single mum, then after speaking to a few people who were single mums i realised it isn't as bad as it seems as you dont have the extra stress that relationships bring. It sounds like you have a very supportive family and im sure if you needed a break they'd let you have one as ever parent needs a little break even if its for a few hours. Having a baby doesnt take away your freedom unless you let it, you can still arrange to meet your freinds and things. You shouldn't worry about what your friends will think, there your friends the not going to judge you. The feelings your feeling happen to everyone at times its got alot to do with being scared i think after a while it passes and you feel more excited than scared. Im pregnant with my second child and although it was planned at first i experienced the same feelings.

 

[LilLickysBump]

As a few of the other girls have already posted - I was 18 when i had my daughter and she was the best thing that happened to me.......I could still go to parties (but i chose not to) and could still lead the life every other 18 year old was (again i chose not to)...
I loved being a mum and my real friends loved and cherished her,yeah i got a few arsehole mates make comments and decide having a kid was uncool but hey im all about being different, my dad always said to me if im mature enough to open my legs then i got to be mature enough to deal with the consequences, if i wasnt ready to be a mum or be treated for having STD's (whatever the unwanted risks of unprotected sex are)then i shouldnt be having sex at all!
The thought of getting rid of her never crossed my mind....

 

[~KACI~]

While BabyandBump try to remain pro-choice on most subjects, out of respect for majority of our members that are either trying to conceive, or pregnant, we ask that you do not discuss topics on abortion and terminations outside of the 'Ethical Prenatal Losses' forum.

https://www.babyandbump.com/forum-help-testing-area/announcements.html

To the OP You may want to start another thread asking any questions you may have minus the mention of abortion

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