(not baby related) What do you consider cheating?

[junemomma09]

Hi Junemomma09

I have just realised that I am in the same position as you with my OH and it is f***n awful! Last year we went through a bit of a hard time and worked through it because I do love him. He promised it would never happen again and he had been a fool etc. You can all imagine soI forgave him and worked through it. Anyway I have been wondering about a few things, women intuitition or whatever. Well I decided to check his phone and found only 2 texts to him from another woman. The first one had said that her days off were Monday and Tuesday and she would check her partner (I assume, male name anyway) for his shifts and "kisses" on the end of the text, found another one today which made out something a bit more flirty although nothing in particular if you know what I mean. No hard evidence but implied something. He obviously learnt his lesson from the last time and is deleting texts to/from her but must have forgot about these 2 replies. She is obviously in a relationship and I think I know to an extent who it is but like you keep thinking am I being paranoid because of pregnancy hormones. Really that are these men playing at? At the end of the day what they are doing I think is cheating, if it wasn't why are they hiding it? At the end of the day I wouldn't treat my OH like that so why is he doing it to me.

My teen son is playing up at the moment too and I am now at the stage where I have had enough of them all and just want to run away!

Sorry I haven't been able to give you much advice as my head is mush at the moment as I am sure you can appreciate. I don't know what to do myself for the best as I don't want to be on my own with this baby and a teen but don't think I can continue being in a relationship with a man who obviously has very little respect for me that he would do this just now.

PM me if you ever want a moan and all the best xx

aww hun, im sorry your going through this
i feel inside that something just isnt right and that hes just telling me what i want to hear so we dont fight or so i dont get angry with him. i feel like hes trying to get out the last bit of "fun" before his son arrives. i told him if i EVER caught him cheating, i would leave and he would only see him son every other weekend, in hopes that would awaken something in him, and he always says, im not doing anything and i would never cheat on you. But i feel he already has, with everything that happened last fall. I see other things as cheating, not just physical contact. Hopefully you can figure out whats going on, as just like you, i dont want to be a single mom of 2, one being a newborn. i dont even have a job cuz im not allowed at the moment per my drs orders. so i really dont have anywhere to go. and my family is an hour half away. i get so bummed and depressed. ive already been through one crappy relationship before this and dont want to go through it again.

 

[junemomma09]

My OH ex text him alot when we first got together, only cos she knew he had moved on, at first he hid them from me, deleted them as soon as he read them, but he must of forgot one and I borrowed his fone for the day (as mine had broke), ad there was a text from her saying that she really needed him and if he was free to talk as he was the only she could talk to, there were babe words in there n tht.
I called him straight away, he said he didn't reply to her, he didn't go there, the day after with me watching him, he text her saying that she must leave him alone as he had moved on now and we were planning on getting engaged, and didn't need her constantly texting him causing trouble. The day after he changed his number.
I also have access to all his e-mails and whatever else.

I think the only thing you can do hunny, is sit and talk to him and explain how hard you're finding it, I dn't think it's your pregnancy state, your feeling insecure cos of what happened last time hunny, I'd be exactly the same xox

We are here for you sweet xox

Thanks hun, guess im just terrified of being hurt. i dont know if i WANT to know if anything really was going on as i would be shredded. i love him so dearly. it just scares me ya know. cuz alot of girls, especially the ones in college, are very flirty and dont care if the guy is with someone.

 

[baby#4due2/16]

You need to just come out and ask him about it...tell him it makes you uncomfortable...he should understand...im sure if it was the other way around he would say something...good luck

 

[cs22]

I would consider cheating to be any sexual physical contact other than just plain hugs. Also intimate messages sent to another person. Id chop my OH willy off if i found him doing any of the two i just wrote.

 

[Genna]

I'm sorry that you're going through this, it's hard enough being pregnant!! Let alone having suspicions of your OH cheating The best thing I would say is to sit him down and just really let him know your concerns and feelings without getting worked up about it (not saying you do) just try a civil approach.. How does he react when you do confront him? If you don't mind me asking.. Because in my opinion, their reactions will tell you a LOT, even if their reaction is not saying anything...you know?