Imalia
Missing my angel baby
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2010
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- 211
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Having a bad day and just need to vent to people who are going to understand.
We're currently in the middle of a complaint against the hospital that I was under during my pregnancy with our son last year and I'm just getting so frustrated that it feels like no one else can see how wrong everything was. Everyone acts like it was no big deal, and sometimes I wonder if I'm going crazy.
We've been TTC for 14 years. Prior to the pregnancy with our son I had two miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy. We were in the middle of investigations for infertility when I found out I was pregnant on the 22nd March. Due to these investigations I knew I was post ovulation by the 4th March. Was sent to the EPAU at 7weeks for a scan due to the previous ectopic, but there was no visible pregnancy. Blood was taken for HCG on the 25th and 27th of march which showed a doubling count, so I was called back for another scan, at which point they dated me at a tentative 5weeks and asked me to come back two weeks later for a follow up. Two weeks later they scanned again and dated me at seven weeks. This gives a conception date of the 9th March, which I knew it couldn't have been.
I raised this with the hospital who dismissed me saying when I ovulated was irrelevant, their scans were right and insisted on keeping their dates, giving me a due date of 30 November 2010.
The Midwife refused to book me until the EPAU had confirmed a viable pregnancy, and then took another four weeks to refer me to the consultant at the hospital due to my high risk status (as a diabetic), and then initially referred me to the wrong consultant.
I had another scan at ten weeks, and everything seemed to be fine. I had antenatal appointments at 12 weeks, and 16 weeks. At the 16 week appointment they did another scan and again told us everything was fine, the pregnancy was progressing as it should and they would see me at 20 weeks for an anomaly scan and antenatal appointment.
We never made it to that appointment.
At 20 weeks exactly, I started to bleed, bright red, but not much. We went to the hospital and my world fell apart. They couldn't find a heartbeat with the doppler, and they tried for over an hour. They couldn't find a heartbeat with a scan, but nothing could be confirmed until they could use the main machines the following morning.
So the following day we went back to the hospital where they confirmed the baby had died and offered us medical management with mifepristone. I was due to return 48 hours later for induction of labour.
I went into labour at home that night and our son was born in our bathroom at 3:27 in the morning on 15 July 2010. He weighed 50 grams and was the size of a 14 week baby.
At first they told us it was a 14 week missed miscarriage, until we asked, then why was everything fine at 16 weeks. They now say it was a 16 week missed misscarriage with aspect of intrauterine foetal growth restriction due to a circumvallate placenta and hypercoiled umbilical cord (the latter two being the findings of the autopsy)
I know that the outcome wouldn't have changed, there were two serious problems that likely couldn't have been fixed, I'm not for a minute suggesting the hospital is at fault for my son dying. The crux of our complaint is that I was a high risk patient, with a pregnancy that failed over a period of 6 - 7 weeks, without one medical staff noticing it. That's not right.
It is a big deal that antenatal appointments missed that something was wrong. It is not acceptable for any woman to believe for half of a pregnancy that everything is fine, and then not only lose her baby, but to find out everything was not fine, and hadn't been for some time.
Someone tell me I'm not being crazy, this isn't right, is it? I shouldn't just accept that it happened that way and that's life. Even if they couldn't have saved my son, I should at least have known he was in trouble. Not just from a mothers point of view, but from a medical point of view. Would any of you be able to accept that if it was you?
We're currently in the middle of a complaint against the hospital that I was under during my pregnancy with our son last year and I'm just getting so frustrated that it feels like no one else can see how wrong everything was. Everyone acts like it was no big deal, and sometimes I wonder if I'm going crazy.
We've been TTC for 14 years. Prior to the pregnancy with our son I had two miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy. We were in the middle of investigations for infertility when I found out I was pregnant on the 22nd March. Due to these investigations I knew I was post ovulation by the 4th March. Was sent to the EPAU at 7weeks for a scan due to the previous ectopic, but there was no visible pregnancy. Blood was taken for HCG on the 25th and 27th of march which showed a doubling count, so I was called back for another scan, at which point they dated me at a tentative 5weeks and asked me to come back two weeks later for a follow up. Two weeks later they scanned again and dated me at seven weeks. This gives a conception date of the 9th March, which I knew it couldn't have been.
I raised this with the hospital who dismissed me saying when I ovulated was irrelevant, their scans were right and insisted on keeping their dates, giving me a due date of 30 November 2010.
The Midwife refused to book me until the EPAU had confirmed a viable pregnancy, and then took another four weeks to refer me to the consultant at the hospital due to my high risk status (as a diabetic), and then initially referred me to the wrong consultant.
I had another scan at ten weeks, and everything seemed to be fine. I had antenatal appointments at 12 weeks, and 16 weeks. At the 16 week appointment they did another scan and again told us everything was fine, the pregnancy was progressing as it should and they would see me at 20 weeks for an anomaly scan and antenatal appointment.
We never made it to that appointment.
At 20 weeks exactly, I started to bleed, bright red, but not much. We went to the hospital and my world fell apart. They couldn't find a heartbeat with the doppler, and they tried for over an hour. They couldn't find a heartbeat with a scan, but nothing could be confirmed until they could use the main machines the following morning.
So the following day we went back to the hospital where they confirmed the baby had died and offered us medical management with mifepristone. I was due to return 48 hours later for induction of labour.
I went into labour at home that night and our son was born in our bathroom at 3:27 in the morning on 15 July 2010. He weighed 50 grams and was the size of a 14 week baby.
At first they told us it was a 14 week missed miscarriage, until we asked, then why was everything fine at 16 weeks. They now say it was a 16 week missed misscarriage with aspect of intrauterine foetal growth restriction due to a circumvallate placenta and hypercoiled umbilical cord (the latter two being the findings of the autopsy)
I know that the outcome wouldn't have changed, there were two serious problems that likely couldn't have been fixed, I'm not for a minute suggesting the hospital is at fault for my son dying. The crux of our complaint is that I was a high risk patient, with a pregnancy that failed over a period of 6 - 7 weeks, without one medical staff noticing it. That's not right.
It is a big deal that antenatal appointments missed that something was wrong. It is not acceptable for any woman to believe for half of a pregnancy that everything is fine, and then not only lose her baby, but to find out everything was not fine, and hadn't been for some time.
Someone tell me I'm not being crazy, this isn't right, is it? I shouldn't just accept that it happened that way and that's life. Even if they couldn't have saved my son, I should at least have known he was in trouble. Not just from a mothers point of view, but from a medical point of view. Would any of you be able to accept that if it was you?
