not sure how to go about this

[princessellie]

me and my OH are breaking up, after all the lies so far (some of u know but for those who dont, he cheated on me once with a lad and then when i was pregnant was off round town with this girl from work), today he was in work 6-2, he text me at 2am to say he was on way home, i asked him to get pizza cos its a bad day for me today (today is 7yrs since my first serious boyfriend killed himself) and i didnt really fancy cooking, i didnt actually tell him what today was because given that weve been together for 3 of these days, i expected him to know...call me stupid lol

so im sat there waiting for him, thinking omg why isnt he coming home, has something happened! at 4am so i rang him and asked him where hes been, he says oh im at work,im having a drink with everyone..clearly pissed out of his head!! so i put the phone down cos i was soo bloody upset and pissed off, i didnt want to have an argument with him over the phone...so we texted a bit back and forth, he saying hes sorry hes coming home now, me saying i cant believe he chose today of all days to do one, then he sent one back saying ''oh yeh leave me then, im depressed!!'' clearly off his face!! so i just ignored that, then he sent me another one saying ''i think im an alcoholic, im going the hospital'' bearing in mind he hasnt had a drink since i was 5months gone, hes just a fucking drama queen, so i said oh is hospital slang for staying round some girls house then, cos i am just so pissed off...he phoned me up shoutin the odds saying ''i dont care what u fucking think, im in the hospital, u think what the fuck u want!'' etc, so i just hung up...then he phoned back a minute ago in tears saying ''i know u dont believe me but im in the hospital, ive got a problem...YOU DARE STOP ME SEEING LEYLA!!'' like he just randomly shouted that last bit down the phone, im like so he hung up that time

so yeh, basically, im going to become a single parent, how do i go about this in the least hurtful way for my daughter? i mean, obviously i'll let paul see her when he wants (within reason) mainly cos i dont want her growing up missing out on a dad, even though he is a shit dad who doesnt seem to give a fuck right now...ugh!

what do i have to do? i have no family living here, they live in turkey...so i cant go and stay with them, the flat i live in now is a uni flat and its in pauls name so i cant stay here...i just really need some help asap!

thank you

x

 

[cinnamum]

first thing you do is go to your citizens advice place and then to your council office sign on at the job centre then you can get a place sorted with your council tell them you need somewhere to live as you only have your "ex" over here etc!
i think you should give him sometime to cool off as it seems your both pissed at seperate things here! im no shrink so i'll shut my gob! x x x night x

 

[princessellie]

he just phoned me up again and said that seeing as how i dont care he has got the hospital to phone his mum...maybe she can at least make him see sense!

 

[isil]

Ok, I've just split up with my partner and I found that the best places to get help are the housing office (housing benefit and council housing) and the job centre. It seems to be much better to actually ring the job centre though as going in you don't seem to get anywhere! I've used the CAB a couple of times before but actually, if you do your research on the internet they can't help you much more. At least, that's what I've found. I guess it just depends on which volunteer you get. I'd definitely ring rather than go in though as you can wait for hours just to see someone.

It's a really difficult time that you're going through but I've found that I feel much better actually finding out where I stand and what I need to do to make a better life for me and my son.

Let us know how you're getting on It is hard to make things amicable. My ex and I really aren't managing it. I think it'd be so easy to use Alasdair as a bargining tool or just to not let him see him because he's being such an idiot...but you just have to remember that in the long run, it's best that the kids see both parents.

 

[princess_bump]

oh sweetie i don't have much advice at all, just wanted to send

 

[xXDonnaXx]

Aw hun, I'm sorry to hear that. The first thing to do is go to you're local housing office and tell them you're going to have nowhere to stay. This should automatically put you on urgent housing.

 

[xarlenex]

You said he was off round town with a girl, was he cheating on you then too? Sorry if thats slang for cheating or something, I can be a bit slow

Anyway, was he actually at the hospital then? Because he thinks he's an alcoholic? Thats odd when you say he hasnt had a drink since you were 5 months pregnant! I live with my mum so I haven't got much advice on the housing situation but Bethanylee seems to have given you some good advice there. As for trying to go about it without hurting your daughter, so long as yous aren't argueing/bitching at each other infront of her, then I doubt very much it will affect her much. Hope you get things sorted fast