Not sure if i need to ask ..

[willowblossom]

Hi ladies, i posted a couple of weeks ago about homebirhing in a flat. well me and hubby have decided that we are going to go ahead. Yay! but then hubby said that we should ask our landlord. i never even thought of this. what do you ladies think? we are private tenants and our landlord is a really nice guy but if he says no i would be so disappointed. obviously if there were any damage to carpets ect we would repair, clean or replace them. would you tell your landlord?
Any advice would be great!! xx

 

[CatStorey]

We rent but I am not going to tell my landlord. Like you say if anything got damaged you would fix/replace them so really he need not know. Also, anything could happen in your rented flat that you can't predict, like an accident, and you wouldn't know before hand.

I do plan on telling my neighbours though as I don't want them to freak out and worry if they hear screaming in the middle of the night...ha ha

 

[MindUtopia]

I wouldn't ask. We live in a rented house and we didn't ask our landlord (and they live next door!). Frankly, there's unlikely to be any permanent damage and even if there was, that's what security deposits are for. I ended up having a dry land birth, despite planning to birth in a pool (didn't like the pool, got out to have a walk around and never got back in). Unfortunately, no one thought to move the floor coverings I'd so lovingly put around the pool upstairs to where I eventually birthed our daughter, so the carpet in our bedroom took a serious hit with a massive blood stain. We didn't even get around to cleaning it until about 2 days later when my husband could get to the store and get some floor cleaner. But it all came out. And you wouldn't even know anything happened. Btw, if anything does happen to your carpet, pour salt on it right away to absorb as much as you can, and then Vanish foam is awesome.

My best friend just had a home birth and was in the midst of moving, so had she gone into labour early she would have been in their previous rented home rather than the new home they'd just purchased. She made the mistake of asking permission and her landlord said no. She was devastated. Thankfully, they made it to the new house and she had the wonderful home birth she'd planned for. But I think asking only causes trouble. Just be certain if you're on a top floor that your floor is stable enough to support the weight of a birth pool (I think someone said it's the weight of about 10-15 people, so if you've ever had a party at your house, likely it's fine!). Otherwise, I wouldn't bother. I think what they don't know (or have a chance to worry about) won't hurt them.

Oh, and I just noticed you're in Dorset! Where about are you? We're in Dorchester. Have you been to the Dorset Home Birth group yet?

 

[Creative]

presumably you didn't ask to make a baby in his flat, so as I see it, there is no reason to ask him for permission to birth said baby in the flat either!

there is unlikely to ba any damage, just use plastic dust sheets or shower curtains to cover the floor.

 

[willowblossom]

I

Oh, and I just noticed you're in Dorset! Where about are you? We're in Dorchester. Have you been to the Dorset Home Birth group yet?

Thanks for all your replies ladies. I am in bournemouth. I have been on dorset homebirth website so may pop along to a group!
I think after hearing all your stories I won't tell our landlord. Were on tbe groundfloor so hopfully a pool will be fine xx

 

[Kittycat155]

Glad to hear your going for a HB!!! I would not ask. No need for him to know/give permission on something so natural. It is not a party with a crap load of people in house and music all night

 

[MindUtopia]

I

Oh, and I just noticed you're in Dorset! Where about are you? We're in Dorchester. Have you been to the Dorset Home Birth group yet?

Thanks for all your replies ladies. I am in bournemouth. I have been on dorset homebirth website so may pop along to a group!
I think after hearing all your stories I won't tell our landlord. Were on tbe groundfloor so hopfully a pool will be fine xx

Yes, there is a meeting in Poole. The midwife who runs it is really nice! Also, not sure if you fall under their catchment area, but I know there is a really fantastic new home birth team at Poole Hospital. They are strictly for home births and apparently you get much more personal care with a smaller team so you get to know them all before your home birth. Might be worth asking about if you aren't already with them.

 

[Yipee]

I would not ask. With a little planning, there's no reason anything needs to get damaged, but a landlord with no experience of home-birthing wouldn't necessarily know that, and might say no. There's no reason your landlord ever need know where your baby was born.

 

[lynnikins]

we were renting when ds3 was born at home didnt ask the landlord or tell the neighbors till the next day even with the ambulances arriving for my transfer with lights going and all at 3.30 in the morning nobody was any the wiser

 

[willowblossom]

Thanks for all your advice ladies think i will go ahead and not tell him. although will probably pre warn our neighbours above us xx

 

[willowblossom]

I

Oh, and I just noticed you're in Dorset! Where about are you? We're in Dorchester. Have you been to the Dorset Home Birth group yet?

Thanks for all your replies ladies. I am in bournemouth. I have been on dorset homebirth website so may pop along to a group!
I think after hearing all your stories I won't tell our landlord. Were on tbe groundfloor so hopfully a pool will be fine xx

Yes, there is a meeting in Poole. The midwife who runs it is really nice! Also, not sure if you fall under their catchment area, but I know there is a really fantastic new home birth team at Poole Hospital. They are strictly for home births and apparently you get much more personal care with a smaller team so you get to know them all before your home birth. Might be worth asking about if you aren't already with them.

Thanks so much for that, i will definitely ask at my next midwife appointment as would be nice to get to know any midwives who could be delivering your baby! i'm not sure how they work home births at Bournemouth but i know all of the community midwives are based there so could be anyone, hope they are nice. xx

 

[Cracker]

Oh, and I just noticed you're in Dorset! Where about are you? We're in Dorchester. Have you been to the Dorset Home Birth group yet?

I am the other side of Dorch, and have been to the group! Small world

 

[Larkspur]

I am a big supporter of home birth but as someone who has been a landlord in the past, I think at the minimum it would be respectful to inform the landlord of your plan.

At the end of the day, it is their property, and if they do not feel comfortable with the potential for damage to their property (which undeniably exists), they should be given the choice to say no. The fact that you are afraid to ask in case he says no demonstrates that you think it's something that some landlords might reasonably object to.

I am not sure of the legal standards but even if you were to clean the various body fluids involved in a birth from carpets etc, you're obviously not going to be able to clean them to the standard of a delivery suite. As a responsible landlord, if there had been a large spillage of human body fluids on a carpet in a property I owned, I would want it cleaned professionally to ensure it was sanitary.

Ask yourself what you would want if you were the owner of a property that you were renting to someone else, setting aside your personal opinion toward home birth.

 

[Kittycat155]

I disagree. I miscarried. If I was in a rental should I ask? I was emotional and dripping fluids. I knew no baby was coming out of it so walked not to worried as if anything dropped out it was not an issue. I still only dripped in bathroom/tiled hall. I wore diaper in the bedroom. Had it been birth I would have had plastic in the carpet area. As long as she takes some precautions(puppy pads/adult bed pads/plastic in areas) all should be fine. I am sure she will rent a cleaner or have it cleaned professionally after. How many people have dogs not housetrained who are renters. Not to much different. If owner sees it fit he will rip out carpet and take it out of deposit to redo the bad areas.

 

[LegoHouse]

It's none of your landlords business! What if you had a super quick labour and had no choice? I wouldn't worry about them at all!!!

So what people are saying, is that if you had a 10 minute labour and your baby was hanging out if your landlord had said no you'd better step out and give birth in the garden? No I don't think so!! x

 

[LegoHouse]

I am a big supporter of home birth but as someone who has been a landlord in the past, I think at the minimum it would be respectful to inform the landlord of your plan.

At the end of the day, it is their property, and if they do not feel comfortable with the potential for damage to their property (which undeniably exists), they should be given the choice to say no. The fact that you are afraid to ask in case he says no demonstrates that you think it's something that some landlords might reasonably object to.

I am not sure of the legal standards but even if you were to clean the various body fluids involved in a birth from carpets etc, you're obviously not going to be able to clean them to the standard of a delivery suite. As a responsible landlord, if there had been a large spillage of human body fluids on a carpet in a property I owned, I would want it cleaned professionally to ensure it was sanitary.

Ask yourself what you would want if you were the owner of a property that you were renting to someone else, setting aside your personal opinion toward home birth.

You have rights as a tenant to live your life without feeling like your landlord gets to make your major life decisions!! I'm 100% sure if something like this went to court the landlord wouldn't have a leg to stand on!

 

[Larkspur]

I disagree. I miscarried. If I was in a rental should I ask? I was emotional and dripping fluids. I knew no baby was coming out of it so walked not to worried as if anything dropped out it was not an issue. I still only dripped in bathroom/tiled hall. I wore diaper in the bedroom. Had it been birth I would have had plastic in the carpet area. As long as she takes some precautions(puppy pads/adult bed pads/plastic in areas) all should be fine. I am sure she will rent a cleaner or have it cleaned professionally after. How many people have dogs not housetrained who are renters. Not to much different. If owner sees it fit he will rip out carpet and take it out of deposit to redo the bad areas.

I'm sorry to hear of your miscarriage. However I do think that's quite a different circumstance to a planned home birth.

In regard to pets, you need to seek your landlord's consent so they can decide whether they are comfortable with the risk to damage on their property. I don't see why this is different.

If the OP is well prepared and can reassure the landlord that the risk of damage is minimal, she should present that information when she asks. But I think it's completely disrespectful to not ask in case the landlord isn't happy. Maybe legally they would lose a case, I don't know. I doubt it would go to court. But there's an obvious potential for conflict and I think it's underhanded to avoid the issue.

 

[Larkspur]

It's none of your landlords business! What if you had a super quick labour and had no choice? I wouldn't worry about them at all!!!

So what people are saying, is that if you had a 10 minute labour and your baby was hanging out if your landlord had said no you'd better step out and give birth in the garden? No I don't think so!! x

Obviously that is not what I'm saying. A planned situation is quite different to an emergency.

 

[Feronia]

I also do not think you should seek out your landlord's permission. Perhaps you can tell the landlord after the fact if you end up damaging something so he/she knows it will eventually need to be replaced, but that's very unlikely if you prepare. I agree that you don't ask permission to have sex and get bodily fluids all over the unit or to have a miscarriage (both of mine were known ahead of time due to my falling HCG levels and I chose to stay at home to miscarry). Why is a planned birth any different, and why should a landlord have the ability to say no?

I had a home water birth on the fourth floor of a one-bedroom flat. I didn't get blood anywhere but on my own bed even though I haemorraged and lost a great deal of blood. Planning and preparation is going to mean that you're far, far less likely to damage anything than if you had an unplanned homebirth.

I'd also like to add that several people in my complex have had / are planning home births and not one of them has asked for permission.

 

[nullaby]

I can totally see it from both point of views. As a landlord I would probably want to know, but at the same time, I think since your on 1st floor, there wont be any damage to potential tenants underneath you. I personally wouldn't ask for permission, because blood will stain carpet will be changed anyway. Only thing I worry about is where my water will break, not exactly how to clean that up if it happens to be in carpet