not sure if I should agree to a baby shower- worried no one will come

[teaandme]

Two of my friends want to throw me a baby shower in October, I'm happy they are thinking of me but worried that no one will come. My husbands family and mine live thousands of miles away so I know they won't be coming and because of the nature of my work, I don't have a lot of coworkers so I will only be inviting a few people from work.
Even having it co-ed and with a few of my husbands friends, I only have 20 people to invite which doesn't seem like a lot especially since I am sure not all will be able to attend. I'm starting to have anxiety about only a few people showing up which would be embarrassing and make me feel awful. My husband is excited about it and really wants to have it. I don't want to disappoint him but I am worried about being very disappointed if only a few people show up.

Has anyone else been in this situation? What did you do?

 

[ser523]

Sounds like me! I don't have many friends or family, I think we've invited like 25 to the shower. I figure whoever comes, comes and whoever doesn't just doesn't. It'll be fine whatever happened. There were only about 9 or so people at my bridal shower and it was fine. Don't stress mama, your baby shower is supposed to be fun and you get gifts!

 

[MKaykes]

I threw a shower for a friend of mine and there were only 2 guests, so 4 with me and the mom to be. It was fun, I thought as I was close with all 3 and it was nice and intimate. She had 2 family showers, one for 2 each side, which were huge since they birth have big families, so she liked to be able to talk to the guests at the shower, and it was less stressful for me to host as well!

 

[Amygdala]

20 people sounds like a lot to me! I think of myself as fairly social and I don't think I have few friends but I'd probably struggle to even invite 20. But then I'd prefer a much smaller group anyway. 4 to 10 people sounds ideal to me. Any more and you won't have time to even talk to them. And if it's co-ed and your hubby is there and those two friends (with partners?), plus maybe a couple of hubby's friends, then that's a pretty good party already surely! I really wouldn't worry about the other guests and try to see more as a bonus.

 

[teaandme]

I appreciate the responses, it was helpful to know that I am not the only one in this situation.
The number 20 comes mostly from inviting partners of people we are friends with. If it were only inviting my friends, it would be about 7 people which seems sad to me and pointless to have a party. I suppose if they all came it might be ok but there will be people who can't come. I'd have a really hard time getting over it if there were only a few people there.

I wish I was less anxious and could be more ok with whoever is there being ok. I think another part of it is that I don't like the idea of being the center of attention where I feel so beholden to whether people show up or not.

 

[Isme]

Eeek. I couldn't imagine having even 20 people. I had a shower with each of my previous children, and they were both small (surprise) affairs. I would be overwhelmed with a huge gathering. I have a couple friends who want to throw me a shower for this one, and I'm not sure if it will be ladies-only yet (I asked them to leave me out of the planning) but if it is, there will probably be 10 women there, aside from myself, MAX. I don't have a large friend group and neither me nor my DH have much in the way of family that we would invite. Honestly, 7 people sounds perfect. I don't think it's lame or pathetic. A baby shower should be about friends coming together to celebrate your pregnancy and the new life that is coming. Better to have people there that truly care, rather than 30 random filler people who are just there to drop off a gift and make a quick awkward appearance.

 

[rose.]

I had a baby shower with about 8 guests last time. It was lovely, showers aren't as big here as they are over there, but we played a few games, ate party food and I received a few cute gifts. It was a lovely little party

 

[bubblybaby]

I didn't have a babyshower with my first but my best friend is throwing me one this time. I don't have a lot of friends either and it'll mostly be family members coming. I feel a bit awkward about it, too, but have decided to just enjoy it and try not to think about it too much . Whoever comes, comes . It feels weird for me not to be in control though, haha.

 

[floridamomma]

My sister and mil are rhrowing me one. After putting together a list of who actually will one it's not a lot but enough

 

[cupcake.]

My sisters are throwing me a baby shower end of september and i feel like i have the exact same problem.
I'm not hugely social, or to put it better i have lots of acquaintances but only very few true friends and some of those don't live close.
I'm also very nervous that noone will show up, but it's already planned and invitations are going out so there's nothing for me to do than wait and see i guess.. It'll be very uncomfortable if it ends up being like my sisters and two best friends and that's it..

 

[mrsj13]

Yup. Couldn't imagine a huge gathering at the time when I'm at my most vulnerable state. 20 is a crowd, why would you want so many at your residence sweetheart, that too your husband's friends (assuming they aren't yours)?

IMHO, you've got a couple of good friends, that's all you need to have a great time! In my culture, the mother and the mother in law throws two separate baby showers on the ninth month. Since my mom has passed, my aunt (dad's sister) will be throwing me one, that's the one I'm looking forward to, only close female members of the family and few close friends will be invited.

I know that my best friends will also be throwing a baby shower, but that again would have a maximum of 6 people (our spouses included).

Take care and don't stress much over such problems. Invite people that you enjoy with and have a close knit group that will let you make lasting memories

Hugs and Love
J

 

[DJMooMoo79]

My coworkers threw me a baby shower for my first pregnancy. Three people came.

But you know what? I still had a blast. Yeah the baby shower games were not as long as there was only four people to play, but it was still fun. I got some really cute gifts for the little one still and was by no means overwhelmed.

I say do it. If your worried about being disappointed, try going into the mindset of not expecting that many people. That way if is happens, your not saddened, but if more show up then your given a nice surprise!

There will still be people (no matter how many) who will be there to support you.

 

[cskme_]

I'm across the country from my family and have no friends or family where I live.
My mom is coming out to visit me and bringing gifts and gift cards from my family, were having a "long distance baby shower". A lady I work with mentioned to another coworker that they are going to plan a little baby shower for me. It will probably only be a couple people, but that's fine by me
If I were back home and in your situation I would probably only invite my close friends. Its easier to explain to everyone that you only wanted something small (in case no one shows up) also for me it would be a little awkward to have only long distance friends show up and one or two of my close friends.
At least if its only close friends you wont need to feel embarrassed that no one came. Only my opinion! If I could have a huge baby shower I would but that is definitely out of the question at this point in my life lol!