Not sure if I want Number 2!?!?

[diamond]

Our DS is now 10 months old. We had always said that we would want to have another child pretty close together with number 1. It is as clear as day that my husband wants another but now I'm not as sure. Before we had our DS I had all the feeling of desparatly wanted to have a baby. I don't have that feeling now. I can not imagine having to go through all the new baby stuff again. I've just got back to work (part time) and am loving being back out there doing something else important other than being a mum! There is a huge possibility of a promotion coming up soon which would mean further studying. I just can't imagine being able to do that with a baby and a toddler and I don't want to miss the chance.
I feel as though I am being selfish by saying that I don't want another baby but I'm just not sure that it would be the right step!
I'm very confused!

 

[Savannah1]

Hi hun,
its completely up to you.
You have a responsibility looking after one and juggling work.
So would it be best if you had one now?
Theres no rule about age gaps so you could as OH to give it a few years until your settled and LO is in school?
Up to you.
good luck x

 

[Gwizz]

I read this and thought, jesus that just what I'm thinking!!! Some days im like ' yes defo lets do it' next its like 'I really dont want to do all the baby, night wakings, constant feeding' stuff again. Being back at work gives a bit of freedom I suppose and Ive been given the chance to do some uni lecturing ... but obviously its all depending. We decided to try jan 2011 but even that is bugging me now lol!

Theres no rush hun remember that, take each week at a time and see what you feel when DS reaches 1 maybe?

xxx

 

[luckyme225]

I wouldn't worry about it since your LO is still so young. Your not being selfish at all, if anything your being responsible waiting until you feel ready instead of jumping into it.

 

[diamond]

I have a few things niggling me about it: I'm not getting any younger at 35, so time is not on my side to leave it a few years; if I concentrate on work then the extra studying for a promotion will be 3-4 years at least!!
But I feel the sameas Gwizz, one day it seems like the best idea in the world, then the next it seems like the worst!! Thanks for replies and thoughts, itsgood to talk through whats on my mind!!

 

[Armywife]

You are not at all selfish. I wouldn't do anything if i wasn't absolutely sure. As you know, having a baby is a huge commitment and not a decision to be made for any reason other than it being what YOU want. With the age vs career thing i can't really comment as that is a big decision to make and i don't envy you that at all. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself sweetie xxxx

 

[eeyore2911]

35 is really not that old nowadays!! Having a small age gap is something I think people think too much about and seem to ignore the benefits of a larger gap... my DS is almost 6 and I still have implant but am not concerned what others think about when I should have another (am in 30's ack!) I have family and friends who have had a range of gaps from 10 months to 10 years and they are always positive about their babies and their families.... there will always be negative things but I would maybe look at focusing on your career for a little bit - LO is only v small ATM, give it 6month or a year and have another look. My friend had her first baby last year at 39 but to look at her you would swear she was only 30.... it's got a lot to do with how you feel!!! Good luck whatever you decide x

 

[Eternal]

hun you need to do what you feel right with, from the second Sam was in my arms i knew i wanted another and soon. if i felt the other way then i certainly wouldnt.

I think you need to sit down with your hubby and talk it through. Are you saying your happy with one child, because if you are then thats fine. I was an only child and i wouldnt say i missed out on anything, if anything i got experiences and opportunities i wouldnt have had if i had siblings.

If you are wanting more then, how many, how long did it take to conceive your LO, etc ... lots of people do have babies into their 40's so your def not too old, But the only thing is that you have less time left if you dont conceive quickly.

Good luck in whatever you decide.