Not sure if this is the place...

[RoyalPython]

Im not sure if this is the section to post in..

Im WTT and recently I think I had A chemical Pregnancy, was on the pill and my cycle got messed up (by a type of herb apperantly and taking it VERY late 3 days in a row) Me and OH thought we were pregnant so we tested but it was a cheapie from Tesco and came with a BFN (we tested very early too). A few days later I had VERY bad cramps and lots of spotting / on off bleeding..Im sure this was not AF...

It has made me realise that I am SO scared to misscarry, especially after this Im so heartbroken.

My mother misscarried 3 times and has not been able to concieve with anyone but my real father (she is 37 and has been with my step father over 7 years yet still no BFP and actively trying) they have both been checked and got the all clear..

Im just very worried because a Midwife In training told me MC's can be genetic, Im petrified of them, I cant bear the thought of losing children and am so scared to be like my mother that its making me WTT.

Sorry this is so long, I was just wondering what you all think about this and how I should deal with this fear? Thankyou. x

 

[eclipse]

Hi honey. First of all, unfortunately, miscarriages do and may happen. It is nature's way of fixing something that is broken. It is devastating, I won't lie. Chances are however that you may have already had one and not even been aware of it. As for genetics, they can be, but my mom had multiple miscarriages, and even miscarried my twin (I AM STUBBORN! LOL) but she also had endometriosis and a prolapsed uterus, which I do not have. I have had a few miscarriages, but the only one that really truly devastated me was my missed miscarriage, because it was late. I can't alleviate your fears, because it may happen. But don't put too much faith in the genetics ruling you out. Even though they can be genetic, you are not your mother. You are also significantly younger than she is, so your chances are exponentially higher for a healthy pregnancy. I don't know if I'm helping or making it worse, so I will shut up now. Just concentrate on you right now and realize, you still have almost 2 years until you want to make that journey. Good luck to you

 

[RoyalPython]

Hi honey. First of all, unfortunately, miscarriages do and may happen. It is nature's way of fixing something that is broken. It is devastating, I won't lie. Chances are however that you may have already had one and not even been aware of it. As for genetics, they can be, but my mom had multiple miscarriages, and even miscarried my twin (I AM STUBBORN! LOL) but she also had endometriosis and a prolapsed uterus, which I do not have. I have had a few miscarriages, but the only one that really truly devastated me was my missed miscarriage, because it was late. I can't alleviate your fears, because it may happen. But don't put too much faith in the genetics ruling you out. Even though they can be genetic, you are not your mother. You are also significantly younger than she is, so your chances are exponentially higher for a healthy pregnancy. I don't know if I'm helping or making it worse, so I will shut up now. Just concentrate on you right now and realize, you still have almost 2 years until you want to make that journey. Good luck to you

Thankyou so much, you did help Its just nice to be able to talk to someone because my OH does not realise how petrified I am. I dont even know why. Its just a phobia for me. I will try not to concentrate on it atm, though its hard because it comes along with my broodyiness. But thankyou once again

 

[Ten]

I'm so sorry for your loss, and I wish I could say something that could comfort your fears... it's one of those awful things we ladies have to live with once we've m/c.

Miscarriages happen for a lot of reasons. Some have to do with fetal development/genetics. I read an estimate that this accounts for about 50-60% of losses... which means that 40-50% are NOT that. Some are genetic reasons that could be passed down from your mother (like Factor V Leiden). Some are "equipment" issues with the woman (weak cervix, uterus issues, etc.) that may or may not be an issue for you, even if your mom had them. Some are because the mom's taking some form or prescription or recreational drug that messes things up.

Unfortunately it's a fear we all have to deal with in our own ways. If you're reassured by tests, talk to your doctor and see if s/he will run some for you. (This might be hard - a lot of doctors resist testing until after 2+ losses - how awful is that??!!?)

For me personally, I went to see an acupuncturist and I have faith that she's doing what needs to be done to make my body the best it can be to support life. Other than that - I'm terrified of loss, but I'm more saddened by the thought that I'd never have kids at all. And I can't have a kid if I don't try! Very few wonderful things in life come without a risk.

 

[Rmar]

I'm sorry you went through this.

Miscarriages can be genetic but not always. My mum was always going on about how we would never have any trouble getting pregnant as all of her children were not planned and she has never had a miscarriage.

While we weren't considered fertily challenged as it took 5 months to get pregnant, it certainly wasn't straight away and then that ended in miscarriage.

My half sister, whose mother had no trouble faling pregnant, has had one still birth and 3 miscarriages.

It works the other way around as well. A friend of mine has had 2 children within a year but her mother had 4 miscarriages before having her.

I think everyone fears a miscarriage. I did before it happened to me. It is a crappy part of life and I really wish that no one else ever has to go through it again.