Hello ladies,
I've been with my partner for almost 7 years (of which a few months married). We've never been in a rush to have kids but the past few years I've slowly noticed my desire to have kids has been increasing. It's gotten to the point where I have weeks where I obsess about it and can't really let go of the thought.
My husband and I agreed on TTC latest when we're both 34 (just turning 31 at the moment). As he wanted time before having kids - and so did I - this never has been a problem.
However, we had a spontaneous reckless night recently. And even though I'm not pregnant as a result, it did spark conversation about the matter. His response: 'It wouldn't be a bad thing if it were just to happen now'. Long story short.. Whenever I bring it up, he doesn't want it to become too much of a thing. Actually deciding to TTC freaks him out a little and he literally says he does not want to talk about it. But he is not dismissing it either. It feels like he wants it to happen spontaneously so it doesn't become a 'thing'. As a result, it feels like it is up to me to decide when this actually happens.
On one hand I don't mind it being 'spontaneous' for him (although I know exactly when I'm ovulating and can consciously make it happen). On the other hand I would love it if he would be actively involved - I'd love to talk to him about it meanwhile. Are men like him ever ready? Should I wait for him to tell me he is? He obviously knows that unprotected sex could have these consequences, but it would be nice if doesn't put his head in the sand meanwhile xD. Any women with similar experiences? How did you deal with this? How did it work out for you?
Extra info: this would be our first baby, we're healthy, financially secure etc. So no real worries in that regard. It is all about deciding when we're ready, which I'm not sure you'll ever really be?
I've been with my partner for almost 7 years (of which a few months married). We've never been in a rush to have kids but the past few years I've slowly noticed my desire to have kids has been increasing. It's gotten to the point where I have weeks where I obsess about it and can't really let go of the thought.
My husband and I agreed on TTC latest when we're both 34 (just turning 31 at the moment). As he wanted time before having kids - and so did I - this never has been a problem.
However, we had a spontaneous reckless night recently. And even though I'm not pregnant as a result, it did spark conversation about the matter. His response: 'It wouldn't be a bad thing if it were just to happen now'. Long story short.. Whenever I bring it up, he doesn't want it to become too much of a thing. Actually deciding to TTC freaks him out a little and he literally says he does not want to talk about it. But he is not dismissing it either. It feels like he wants it to happen spontaneously so it doesn't become a 'thing'. As a result, it feels like it is up to me to decide when this actually happens.
On one hand I don't mind it being 'spontaneous' for him (although I know exactly when I'm ovulating and can consciously make it happen). On the other hand I would love it if he would be actively involved - I'd love to talk to him about it meanwhile. Are men like him ever ready? Should I wait for him to tell me he is? He obviously knows that unprotected sex could have these consequences, but it would be nice if doesn't put his head in the sand meanwhile xD. Any women with similar experiences? How did you deal with this? How did it work out for you?
Extra info: this would be our first baby, we're healthy, financially secure etc. So no real worries in that regard. It is all about deciding when we're ready, which I'm not sure you'll ever really be?
