Nursing Strike - HELP! I'm desperate :(

[BellaRosa8302]

Hi ladies. I'll try to make this quick. I have been breastfeeding for almost 4 years all together - first my daughter, through my pregnancy with my son, they tandemed for 2 months, then she self-weaned. My son is 13 months old, and this is the first nursing strike I've been through.

I believe there were 3 causes - he was sick with A LOT of congestion and an ear infection, and due to the congestion, he ended up biting me while trying to mouth breathe. So, I think he was experiencing ear pain, the congestion, and I think I scared him when he bit down & I gasped (He's very sensitive & will put his head down & cry if I tell him "no" or if I give him a stern look).

I feel like I've tried everything - topless time, taking a bath together, offering but acting like I didn't care if he refused, forcing it (I know - sounds bad, but sometimes before the strike he would get himself all kinds of worked up & its like he didn't even notice I was offering until it was in his mouth), and I've attempted to dream feed, but he is either awake enough where he screams or he's been so out of it that he won't even open his mouth.

It's been a week. My supply is dwindling despite pumping to maintain it. If you have any suggestions, please please share. I'm losing hope.

 

[noon_child]

Has the congestion and ear pain definately gone? Sometimes lying to one side can increase ear pressure, so if he might still be experiencing pain a more upright feeding position might be good...it's gonna be hard for him to suck at all if he's still in pain though...

You can't make a baby feed but to try to keep bf as an option you may need to pump or hand express to keep your supply up. Remember to keep communicating with him, smiling at him, singing whatever. If you look and feel tense and stressed he will too.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

contact La Leche League

 

[BellaRosa8302]

Has the congestion and ear pain definately gone? Sometimes lying to one side can increase ear pressure, so if he might still be experiencing pain a more upright feeding position might be good...it's gonna be hard for him to suck at all if he's still in pain though...

You can't make a baby feed but to try to keep bf as an option you may need to pump or hand express to keep your supply up. Remember to keep communicating with him, smiling at him, singing whatever. If you look and feel tense and stressed he will too.

Congestion is gone, but I'm not sure about the ear pain to be honest. I've tried feeding him upright, but he never liked to be fed that way & won't at this point.

I have been pumping. I've tried to stay positive, but honestly, all last week I was home on "vacation" with him & spent a good part of the week crying & in an awful mood. I'm a bit better now.

 

[BellaRosa8302]

contact La Leche League

I'll try. I went to one of their meetings once, a long time ago, with my daughter. I don't know... I didn't really feel like I fit in well there. I have a breastfeeding support group (not LLL) I've been attending for almost 4 years now, but the leader (LC) didn't respond when I texted her But, that said, I'd take any help or advice I can get. So I'll see if I can get ahold of anyone from La Leche. Thanks!

 

[MoldyVoldy]

I'm sorry Have you tried offering while asking him to nurse? "Can you nurse with me?" or "My nunus (or whatever you call them) are full of milk for you"? Is he mobile yet? Part of a nursing strike at this age can be that he is just into everything and "forgets" to nurse.

 

[BellaRosa8302]

I'm sorry Have you tried offering while asking him to nurse? "Can you nurse with me?" or "My nunus (or whatever you call them) are full of milk for you"? Is he mobile yet? Part of a nursing strike at this age can be that he is just into everything and "forgets" to nurse.

I'll try using your wording. The last time he actually tried to latch was Monday. (Can't remember off the top of my head what I wrote in my original post, but when he latched, he immediately unlatched & screamed). On Tuesday, he freaked every time I even asked, "Do you want Nanas?" & he'd crawl/cruise away from me. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm giving him an opportunity to forget! I'm trying the "wait and see" approach at the moment.... figured I'd give him 3 days or so and try again tomorrow (Saturday). I'll have a bit more time, too, on a Saturday - since I've had to work this week.

I've spoken to an LC & contacted LLL. Looking into a chiropractor & an ENT doctor.... in the meantime, pumping is AWFUL - my output is SO low now & I'm SO sore... and I'm just starting to feel detached from the whole situation & from my son. It makes me a little nervous.

 

[MoldyVoldy]

I'm sorry Have you tried offering while asking him to nurse? "Can you nurse with me?" or "My nunus (or whatever you call them) are full of milk for you"? Is he mobile yet? Part of a nursing strike at this age can be that he is just into everything and "forgets" to nurse.

I'll try using your wording. The last time he actually tried to latch was Monday. (Can't remember off the top of my head what I wrote in my original post, but when he latched, he immediately unlatched & screamed). On Tuesday, he freaked every time I even asked, "Do you want Nanas?" & he'd crawl/cruise away from me. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm giving him an opportunity to forget! I'm trying the "wait and see" approach at the moment.... figured I'd give him 3 days or so and try again tomorrow (Saturday). I'll have a bit more time, too, on a Saturday - since I've had to work this week.

I've spoken to an LC & contacted LLL. Looking into a chiropractor & an ENT doctor.... in the meantime, pumping is AWFUL - my output is SO low now & I'm SO sore... and I'm just starting to feel detached from the whole situation & from my son. It makes me a little nervous.

That's rough :/ I am so sorry.

 

[BellaRosa8302]

Update:

Still not nursing, although he tries to latch about every 5 days or so, then ends up spitting me out and screaming. I'm not sure if he suddenly realizes "we don't do this anymore" or if he's in pain...

I have gone to the ENT - he is a candidate for tubes, but just barely. She recommended the "wait and see" approach to see if we can avoid tubes... and I'd hate to have him undergo surgery, even when it's a simple one, if unnecessary, so we're sticking with that "wait and see" approach... he has a follow up appointment in 3 months.

I wrote to a local chiropractor, asking for information, and have yet to hear back. That was almost a week ago now. But, my husband is pretty against taking our son to a chiropractor.... and I'm just not sure, having never been to one myself.

I just don't know. Part of me is ready to give up, but part of me isn't. He LOVES when it's time to have my milk in a sippy cup... he downs it and cries that there's not more. Not quite sure how to "pace feed" in a sippy.... He's so independent that he doesn't want me to feed him the sippy anyway; he wants to do it himself. Maybe that's part of what this strike is all about: him wanting to be in control of feeding. I don't know.

I have my monthly breastfeeding support group tonight. I will see if there's anything that comes up there. But honestly, I've researched so much and spoken to so many people, that I don't know if I'll get anything out of the meeting tonight... but at least there will be people around me who are also nursing and/or pumping who might be going through the same thing I am.

Thanks for listening....

 

[Dawnlouise30]

HI,

i dont know if you remember me from the March monkeys group?.

well done on making it to 13 months with Jacob (and hopefully many more to come), i am feeding Elijah still and he is also 13 months.

i dont have any advice but Elijah is also on feeding strike (well certainly dramatically dropped feeds), i am putting it down to teeth, but he is also a good eater with food so he maybe just is naturally weaning from boob?, it makes me very sad. our only decent feed is morning feed now, and even then he is very distracted and i sense he may be wishing to end it soon too.

how quickly they grow.

i hope the feeding strike passes soon for you,

Dawn

 

[DaisyDreamer]

Hi Bella I hope you have found some sort of resolution with the strike

 

[BellaRosa8302]

HI,

i dont know if you remember me from the March monkeys group?.

well done on making it to 13 months with Jacob (and hopefully many more to come), i am feeding Elijah still and he is also 13 months.

i dont have any advice but Elijah is also on feeding strike (well certainly dramatically dropped feeds), i am putting it down to teeth, but he is also a good eater with food so he maybe just is naturally weaning from boob?, it makes me very sad. our only decent feed is morning feed now, and even then he is very distracted and i sense he may be wishing to end it soon too.

how quickly they grow.

i hope the feeding strike passes soon for you,

Dawn

Hi!!!! I do remember you!!! How are you?? Thanks for writing me back! Thanks, and congratulations to you, too, on making it to 13 months! I remember you being concerned about breastfeeding! So glad it worked out for you!!!!

I really don't think Jacob is done... it's VERY rare for kiddos to wean abruptly and even more rare for them to do so before 2 years (some people may fight me on those statements, but the research says most kiddos who stop nursing abruptly and before that age are on a strike). Also, he definitely WANTS to nurse.... he latches on, then unlatches. He did it Sunday, Monday, & Tuesday evenings - long story short, he latched on but immediately unlatched. He was admittedly happier about it this time around - previously each time he tried to latch he screamed after spitting me out. This time he just seems cautious. After my daughter nursed until she was over 3 years old, this whole thing just has me stumped.

As for Elijah, are you offering often, or waiting for him to "ask"? Is it possible for you to take him away from the distractions? Can you take him into a quiet room for nursing time? If it gets worse and he's open to it, you could always try to dream feed (my son wants NOTHING to do with that though )

FX nursing turns back to normal for us both! I'm still pumping to keep up my supply.... I considered stopping, but I was finally able to get in touch with my LC who was 100% confident he'd come back to nursing, but just couldn't tell me when. While I'm not 100% certain he'll come back (he's SO stubborn!) it did give me a little hope. Also, he just LOVES when I hand him his sippy cup of "nana milk" - he guzzles it. I'd hate to take that away from him.

Anyway, it was really nice to hear from you. Hope everything works out for you!!!

 

[BellaRosa8302]

Hi Bella I hope you have found some sort of resolution with the strike

Thanks Daisy!!! Not really (you can probably read my post to Dawn above) but at least I'm sort of at peace with where I am now. It's not ideal, but I offer to him when I can, keep it lighthearted, and pump 5x daily. I despise pumping, but when Jacob is SO excited to get his sippy cup of "nana milk" it makes it all worth it. And in the end, I hope my LC is correct and that he'll come back to nursing so I can detach from my pump. And if not... well, I'll just keep hanging on for "one more day"...