nvm wrong section

[iluvmyfamily]

Is it normal for my 2 yr old son to be looking at his sisters?? I just caught my son looking up my 6 yr olds dress! He went on his hands and knees and looked up her dress and when he was finished he stood up and smiled. The other day my 4 yr old daughter got undressed to get into the bath and he went on hands and knees again and looked at her butt and pp area. What is going on??

 

[alicecooper]

I have a 7 year old DD, a 5 year old DS and a 3 year old DS, and none of mine have ever done anything like that.

Maybe he just finds it odd that your DD's genitals are different to his, and he's only just realised it?

I dunno...are you the sort of family that is comfortable with nudity around each other? Or do you mostly keep yourselves covered up in front of each other?

In our house we're fine with nudity around each other, so none of the kids consider it strange that boys and girls look different, because they're quite used to seeing each other (and me and DH) and they know that "girls don't have todgers, whereas boys do". It's just normal. Nothing to look at it because it's nothing they haven't seen a ton of times before. We get changed in front of each other - the kids run around naked in and out of the bath to the bedroom when it's bath-night, etc. No big deal.

But if your DS isn't used to seeing girly bits, maybe he has only just clicked on that there's something different there, so he's curious about it?

 

[iluvmyfamily]

Thanks for replying! I put this in the toddlers section as I thought I'd get more replies.

No, we don't feel that comfortable with nudity. Not saying anything is wrong with it, because I don't want my kids growing up thinking sex is horrible, and body parts are bad. I just don't want them getting the wrong message and I don't want them being ashamed of their bodies. But I also wanna teach them about respecting themselves and others when it comes to privacy and body parts. DH has a habit of opening the bathroom door when I'm going and I hate it because although it's ok if he's in ther, I don't want the kids thinking it's ok to open the door on other people. My 2 yr old son tries to open the bathroom door now! My brothers GF's kids like to use the bathroom together and they tried doing it with my 6 yr old daughter and I didn't feel right about it. Her 7 yr old daughter even kissed my 6 yr old daughter on the lips and I caught her and told her it's not nice and we don't kiss one another that way. I had a talk with her mom without making a big deal of it and the little girl never did it again and she said she understood and her mom was confused as to why her kid did that. I think at that age it's normal for kids to be curious. But 2 yr olds...I don't know. I mean he's not surrounded by naked people to really wonder what's what...so it's confusing to me. I've changed in front of him maybe 2x and without really noticing him there as I would be in a rush but then I'd notice him standing there and staring hard at me. I guess maybe he's just curious. The only thing we do is when the kids are done with their baths they come out and put on towels so i doubt he sees them naked. It's just weird but hopefully he breaks out of it soon because I don't want him thinking it's ok to look at his sisters bodies like that.

Thanks for the reply!

 

[alicecooper]

I'd say if he's not used to seeing girls bodies then it's probably just natural curiosity - the way you would look at anything you were not used to seeing. I wouldn't worry about it.
He knows his own body well enough, so he likely just wonders why his sisters don't have a penis. Probably keeps peeking to have a check and see if they've got one.

As for why he started doing it in the first place, who knows? Perhaps it's because of having caught sight of you a couple of times and it got him curious? Or maybe he accidentally saw one of them without clothes on and realised they looked different?

I'm sure it's nothing to worry about x

 

[alicecooper]

Just to add - my kids realise that it's not okay for just anybody to see them naked. My DD in particular is quite shy about getting changed in front of people - say at the beach or a swimming pool for example, she makes very sure she's covered up with a towel or behind a screen. She's not an exhibitionist at all in public.
Even if somebody (a visitor, even if it's extended family) is round at the house, she won't get changed in front of them. She'll go into another room for privacy to get changed.
But in front of me and DH and her brothers, that's different, because none of us are shy around each other. It's just not seen as a big deal between us.
I suppose that'll change as she gets older (same as when the boys get older). I can't imagine them getting to be teenagers and wandering around the house without clothes on or anything, but for the moment they don't see it as a problem at all, therefore neither do we.

Every family is different though. If you prefer the more covered up approach, that's fine, but I do think that this is where your DS is getting his curiosity from - he's not accustomed to seeing his sisters naked so it's something different for him to be curious about.

 

[iluvmyfamily]

Thanks for all your help He's done it several more times tonight. It got to the point my 4 yr old daughter ran away from him. I think if it continues on we do have to do something about it.

 

[LolaLou]

I agree with PP that is just natural curiosity. He is probably noticing how differnt his sister looks from him. At that age it is much to young to worry about it being perverse. I find that it helps to just keep an open dialogue. My 3 year old is quite the exibitionist.....and we are constantly having to tell her that private areas are special just for you and you don't want the whole world seeing them. I would just explain to your son that everyones private areas are just for them to look at. If you think he has more curiosities there are books that explain the male and female body in kids terms...with pictures. Maybe that will take the "secret" out of it and he will move his fascination to choo-choo trains or something else