O/T Rant... sorry if extremely long

[rwllgoodchild]

First of all I apologise to anyone that actually reads this...

A few weeks ago my mum called me and told me that her neighbour had put a number of complaints in to the council about her for many things, mainly for her dog barking even anyone knocks on her door. She had the council visiting her and questioning her on the complaints for a few weeks. They then told her that as there had been a number of complaints they have to take it to court. My mum spoke to the CAB who basically told her that she couldnt do anything as there had been the complaints...

Before I go on about todays matter, this is a little of what we have put up with since they moved in next door around 13-14 years ago...
Every Friday and Saturday night they would go out, come home around 2am and have a house party that went on till around 4am ever night, the party would ALWAYS end by her throwing him out of the house and his shouting through the letterbox to her for the next hour.
They had a dog that constantly barked when anyone walked within 50 feet of their house, day and night.
A couple of years ago they adopted 2 children, after about a month or so all we could hear was the two of them shouting and screaming at them, they would leave the kids in their bedrooms, slamming the door behind them and they would be there for 2-3 hours just screaming.
My mum works nights and has NEVER complained about ANY of the noises coming from them, eventhough she has been losing sleep due to it for the past few years.

Anyway, she called me today to tell me that yesterday she received a letter stating her date for eviction was 16th Feb!!!
Luckily she has a place lined up as my brother knows someone who has a house to rent in the next town, the problem is my mum isnt very good with money and doesnt have the full amount she needs to move in. To cut a long story short my mum lent £400 from me 3 years ago and told me "I'll pay you back at the end of the month" ... fair enough she didnt say which month, but I am still waiting for it back. At Christmas I lent her another £100 which I was supposed to have got back at the end of the month... notice a pattern??

I am in such a state right now for feeling guilty for not offering to help her out straight away, through fear of never getting it back...
I cant see her on the streets but I cant afford to keep throwing money at her that I will never see again, especially with me going on maternity leave soon, we dont have a great deal of money but what we do have we need.

We have decided to "lend" her a little bit of money to help her, but we are telling her it is the baby's money and that we need it back as soon as she can get it to us. I just feel so awful for feeling like this... she's my mum at the end of the day, I should help her out when she needs me...

Anyway, thanks for reading, sorry for going on - just needed to get that off my chest

xx

 

[Lauraaraa]

i would defo have a word with ya mam - say you need this money back - £500 in total is a load of money.

this is th last thing you need now!! pregnancy is stressful enough with out extra worries on top of it all.

i would defo chat with ya mam

my mams th opp - she is the one who is always there to rescue me and help me out.
so cant imagine how u must feel bless you

 

[rwllgoodchild]

aww thanks for replying, wasnt expecting any at all lol

I know, I really dont need this, but all I can think of is - what if my baby ever feels like this?

My oldest brother has already pretty much disowned her, I dont want to be that harsh - she is still our mum at the end of the day and she deserves help just like everyone else... doesnt she?? She sturggled bringing us up on her own as her ex was a voilent alcoholic.

Im just hoping that with us saying it is baby's money she will feel she needs to make more of an effort to get it back to us?? maybe?? xx

 

[CLH_X3]

In the last 3 yrs av u not even asked for your 400 back ?

3 yrs is a long time to let a debt lye if u wanted it bk ..

The 100 is much newer so I would fully expect tht bk wen she could afford it ...

I would personally lend my mother every penny I had if it helped her out and I wouldn't ask for it bk until I knew she could 100% afford to give it bk with no problems .. But then I know that my mum would pay me bk wen she could
Every1 Is dif with money tho and it's ur choice .. U may risk the choice of never getting it bk .. N is tht a risk u want to take ?

 

[NicolleM.T.B.]

I lend my mum money all the time but i suppose everyones rships with their parents are completely different. I agree with an earlier comment about that £400, if nothing has been mentioned since then you cant really expect to bring it up now. Thats like your mum making a list and saying well i brought you shoes when you were 5 years old so you owe me £20 from them. Its silly. Did you not mention this money when you first told her you were pregnant as in, mum we're having a baby i will need that money back from a few years ago? If you did then fair enough ask for it, if not then leave it, shes your mother. If your that fussed just dont lend her anymore, or offer to buy her something for the house or pay for a weeks shopping as her bday present instead?

 

[rwllgoodchild]

Im not expecting to get the £400 back eventhough she keeps bringing up paying me back, but i did tell her i needed the £100 back from christmas but theres always something that comes up why she cant. I completely understand that im sounding petty but this is what shes like... my nanna died with £2000 debt with a dodgy load company, all of it was for my mum, yet she left everything to my auntie to pay back, i even paid for her flowers for the funeral. I know shes my mum, and i know ive got to help her, but us it wrong to expect a little back in return... im pregnant and skint, yet she.knows i wont see her on the street xx