OH is frustrating!!

[maratobe]

ok so we are on a TTC break as we have been trying for almost 11 cycles and its getting to me and my fiance...so we said a few months break (2-4 months) and i thought that would be good, now my wonderful fiance has decided that he thinks a year is a good break....

its frustrating me cause i want this more then ever and a year is so long away and not to mention we are getting married in january 2011...so trying in july 2010 just doesnt really suit.
am i being to hard on him by bringing up this subject all the time??
also i feel like its putting some tension on us in the bedroom....doesnt feel right when i know all his thinking about is not trying....

 

[lozzy21]

trying in july dose seem a bit silly if your gettin married in january. Have you mentioned this. Just tel him outright you are not prepared to wait that long.

 

[achekh8707]

Definitely bring up the point about not wanting to wait so long because you don't want to be pregnant and or just had a baby when you are getting married. Planning the wedding - especially the dress - will be extremely difficult, and your hormones will be SO out of whack - take it from someone that has been there! Don't make him think you feel like a victim or anything, simply say you are willing to compromise on the issue, and that if he feels waiting longer than 2-4 months is a good idea, try to meet somewhere in the middle.

 

[Belgiansunset]

Hiya, I can understand the temptation to take a break from it all, but I read somewhere that on average it takes healthy couples just over 12 cycles to conceive (I was surprised by this). Just seems a shame to stop when you might be so close to success!

I don't know whether you're doing all the charting, temping etc but maybe instead of taking a break entirely, you could just stop the charting but still not use contraception and let nature take its course. Just being able to do stuff for enjoyment rather than trying to conceive would take the pressure off you without eliminating the possibility of getting pregnant!

I hope you manage to come to an acceptable compromise with your OH anyway maratobe, sounds like you both need to chill for a bit and concentrate on other things. Good luck.

 

[maratobe]

thank you girls!
i was charting and temping and taking OPKs and doing all that fun stuff lol but im not anymore, but we are not using any protection either...
my doctor said that it can take up to 12 cycles as well but this month is the month we lost our bub last year (the day after my birthday) so we didnt want to do it this month.

with the wedding issue, i agree we need to work around that very seriously lol its gonna be stressful enough i think haha

again thank you i think im just stressing over all this in my head....

 

[pinkflamingo]

Hi maratobe,
Sorry to hear that you suffered a loss this time last year. I think you have already received the best advice in that you should sit OH down and tell him how you feel. Good luck with ttc hun and the wedding too!! I am getting married in 6 weeks and it's keeping me busy! At least I don't have too much time on my hands to think about babies at the mo!
Hopefully it won't be too long until you do get your BFP!
PF x

 

[maratobe]

thank you again girls for the advice.
i sat down with him tonight and we did a list of pros and cons also a list of why we wanted a child and why we could wait....
it really helped!! we just laid everything out on the table and it was great to be able to talk about it all so openly with him.
in conclusion we came to a decision.
we are going to try again.....after this month (because its gonna be hard enough) we are gonna try....

im very over whelmed....and excited!

 

[Belgiansunset]

Great news! Congratulations and good luck.

 

[girl]

ok so we are on a TTC break as we have been trying for almost 11 cycles and its getting to me and my fiance...so we said a few months break (2-4 months) and i thought that would be good, now my wonderful fiance has decided that he thinks a year is a good break....

its frustrating me cause i want this more then ever and a year is so long away and not to mention we are getting married in january 2011...so trying in july 2010 just doesnt really suit.
am i being to hard on him by bringing up this subject all the time??
also i feel like its putting some tension on us in the bedroom....doesnt feel right when i know all his thinking about is not trying....

Maybe you should give it a break if its putting stress on the both of you. Dont give up trying - still have often and dont use any protection... maybe less stress will help you get pregnant!!