Oh My God

[Andypanda6570]

really!!??? thats terrible.so distressing....... i'm glad thats not whats done here... ....
Could she not insist on induction, seems kinder on mother and baby.....

My husbands doctor made this comment about the doctors NOT ALL but most in the United States. This doctor that made the comment is one of the best in his fields. He said first these doctors perform cesarean more in the United States even when the women does not need it just to make more money and that in the United Kingdom the pill is rather than the D and E so much easier on the woman in order to give birth to a baby that has either died or is going to be very sick cause of severe problems . I almost had to get the D and E they put these things up there in order to open the cervix so the extraction can be performed easily.
Then when you go into surgery for this D and E most of the time the women is out under anesthesia , the baby is broken up and then pulled out into pieces . I didn't know this, my doctor never told me this, my friend who is a nurse said they would have had to explain it before you went in for the surgery and before you went into surgery you have to sign papers and there is also a risk of the doctor puncturing your uterus . I was never at ANY time offered another way of Ava leaving my body, no pill no nothing. I thank God everyday that when the doctor put those things up me to open my cervix and then scheduled this procedure for the next day , Ava came out on her own in my home, if this would have NOT happened I would NOT have went through this surgery I don't care what would have happened to me I would not have done it. With my sister in law her last visit before finding out the baby died was 3 weeks ago so they don't know when the baby passed ,there is a chance when the baby is there in you not alive for infection to set in, so at this point I don't know what their options are, I am sick over this.
The United Kingdom seems a lot more better than the United States where this is concerned , why can't they just induce her, she is 16 weeks , let her deliver this baby and then go from there.
This procedure is also used for disgusting people probably most are prostitutes that wait 15 weeks to 24 weeks to have an abortion so they do this, it's terrible and they should be put in jail. I understand when it is for a woman who has no choice because of her baby dying or having severe problems i am NOT putting these women in that category .
I am ashamed that I live in a state where you can have an abortion at 24 weeks that is disgusting. Not all states allow this but New York does. '
If you discover you are pregnant and don't want the baby then decide that right away don't wait till the baby is 12 weeks or over to do this. I am just sick right now, I was never ever offered any kind of pill I was only offered this D and E and I thank God everyday my AVa came out on her own.

some terrible things do happen ..it makes me sick too i would do anything to still have my baby boy...

I hope your SIL can get someone to listen to her...

Thank you for your compassion . I also hope they find another way and my brother in law is a very persistent person so he will find some way I think other than this, I just don't know how. xoxoxoxoxoxo

 

[mommy2lilmen]

AWWW I am so sorry


Here, it is quite sad, the babies that die in utero have to undergo a D&E under same circumstances, if under 24ish weeks and right at 14 weeks they have to have the D&E. Its AWFUl. I know from experience. My baby was passed at 16 weeks, and I was told the only way to get her out was to have the D&E. I cried for a whole day. I begged my mom to not allow them to take her that way. It was the worse day of my life. My only baby girl. She wasnt forming properly, chromosone issues back in September 1999.

I am so deeply sorry you went through this. I am sorry , but please don't blame yourself ever I know it had to be done. I am so sorry for your loss

I dont talk about it much cus I had to go through it alone. My ex (father to my older 4) said I deserved it cus I didnt take any birth control to prevent it and we had one already and he didnt want any more. I asked to find out the gender of the baby and was a girl. I was so heartbroken, ever since then I have tried for a girl, only to have a girl angel. Thanks for the hugs. I am here reading all the other womens stories and just get so sad for them. No one should have to go through a loss, not to mention have their baby chopped up just because thats the way it is. But I thank god my baby didnt suffer wehn it happened. I did have a rainbow baby after her, hes so precious. Hes now 10.

Your X husband is a pig and should have never said that to you, I m so sorry for that, i know it must have broken your heart I am sorry for all that has happened to you and if you ever need to talk I am here. Don't ever ever blame yourself, This country needs to change this and do like they do in the United Kingdom , this breaks women's spirit and they never forget this.
XOOXOXOXXO

My x, pig isnt the word but you know, I had 3 other children with him after our loss of her, so it puzzles me. I am so glad I am with my current husband, we got my tubes untied to try for a girl, we shared a loss together and I had him with me every second of that. We lsot that baby on Chirstmas, we will never forget that day, I do wonder if it was a girl or a boy. We had a rainbow baby after that one and hes now 18 months old.
I hope your sil will be ok and finds a different answer than to have the baby taken from her by D&E but if thats the way it has to be then thats the way it has to be. I will be praying for your brother and sil ... hugs

 

[Andypanda6570]

AWWW I am so sorry


Here, it is quite sad, the babies that die in utero have to undergo a D&E under same circumstances, if under 24ish weeks and right at 14 weeks they have to have the D&E. Its AWFUl. I know from experience. My baby was passed at 16 weeks, and I was told the only way to get her out was to have the D&E. I cried for a whole day. I begged my mom to not allow them to take her that way. It was the worse day of my life. My only baby girl. She wasnt forming properly, chromosone issues back in September 1999.

I am so deeply sorry you went through this. I am sorry , but please don't blame yourself ever I know it had to be done. I am so sorry for your loss

I dont talk about it much cus I had to go through it alone. My ex (father to my older 4) said I deserved it cus I didnt take any birth control to prevent it and we had one already and he didnt want any more. I asked to find out the gender of the baby and was a girl. I was so heartbroken, ever since then I have tried for a girl, only to have a girl angel. Thanks for the hugs. I am here reading all the other womens stories and just get so sad for them. No one should have to go through a loss, not to mention have their baby chopped up just because thats the way it is. But I thank god my baby didnt suffer wehn it happened. I did have a rainbow baby after her, hes so precious. Hes now 10.

Your X husband is a pig and should have never said that to you, I m so sorry for that, i know it must have broken your heart I am sorry for all that has happened to you and if you ever need to talk I am here. Don't ever ever blame yourself, This country needs to change this and do like they do in the United Kingdom , this breaks women's spirit and they never forget this.
XOOXOXOXXO

My x, pig isnt the word but you know, I had 3 other children with him after our loss of her, so it puzzles me. I am so glad I am with my current husband, we got my tubes untied to try for a girl, we shared a loss together and I had him with me every second of that. We lsot that baby on Chirstmas, we will never forget that day, I do wonder if it was a girl or a boy. We had a rainbow baby after that one and hes now 18 months old.
I hope your sil will be ok and finds a different answer than to have the baby taken from her by D&E but if thats the way it has to be then thats the way it has to be. I will be praying for your brother and sil ... hugs

Thank you SO very much, that means so much to me..xoxoxoox

 

[mommy2lilmen]

AWWW I am so sorry


Here, it is quite sad, the babies that die in utero have to undergo a D&E under same circumstances, if under 24ish weeks and right at 14 weeks they have to have the D&E. Its AWFUl. I know from experience. My baby was passed at 16 weeks, and I was told the only way to get her out was to have the D&E. I cried for a whole day. I begged my mom to not allow them to take her that way. It was the worse day of my life. My only baby girl. She wasnt forming properly, chromosone issues back in September 1999.

I am so deeply sorry you went through this. I am sorry , but please don't blame yourself ever I know it had to be done. I am so sorry for your loss

I dont talk about it much cus I had to go through it alone. My ex (father to my older 4) said I deserved it cus I didnt take any birth control to prevent it and we had one already and he didnt want any more. I asked to find out the gender of the baby and was a girl. I was so heartbroken, ever since then I have tried for a girl, only to have a girl angel. Thanks for the hugs. I am here reading all the other womens stories and just get so sad for them. No one should have to go through a loss, not to mention have their baby chopped up just because thats the way it is. But I thank god my baby didnt suffer wehn it happened. I did have a rainbow baby after her, hes so precious. Hes now 10.

Your X husband is a pig and should have never said that to you, I m so sorry for that, i know it must have broken your heart I am sorry for all that has happened to you and if you ever need to talk I am here. Don't ever ever blame yourself, This country needs to change this and do like they do in the United Kingdom , this breaks women's spirit and they never forget this.
XOOXOXOXXO

My x, pig isnt the word but you know, I had 3 other children with him after our loss of her, so it puzzles me. I am so glad I am with my current husband, we got my tubes untied to try for a girl, we shared a loss together and I had him with me every second of that. We lsot that baby on Chirstmas, we will never forget that day, I do wonder if it was a girl or a boy. We had a rainbow baby after that one and hes now 18 months old.
I hope your sil will be ok and finds a different answer than to have the baby taken from her by D&E but if thats the way it has to be then thats the way it has to be. I will be praying for your brother and sil ... hugs

Thank you SO very much, that means so much to me..xoxoxoox

hope your ok to.

 

[AndreaBat]

So very very sorry .. too sad for words.

 

[cindersmcphee]

So sad to hear about your sil. I got bad news at 16 week scan that baby had died about a week before. I am in Uk and was told that baby was too big so was unable to have a d&c. At time I was a bit distraught as I didnt think I was strong enough to give birth to him. Midwife told me that for healing process in long run she thinks its best option and now looking back I think she is right. I am now glad that I didnt have option of d&c and brought him into the world although he had already died it has brought me a little peace that I did what little I could for him and delivered him as he was a small tiny baby. Process for me was given a tablet by mouth to stop pregnancy hormones and then returned to hospital 2 days later where had tablet inserted to induce him.

 

[djw47]

Andypanda I'm so sorry! This happened to me as well. I went in for a routine check up when I should have been 18 weeks and they found no heartbeat and swelling and determined the baby passed at 16 weeks. Exactly 1 week later, my sister in law miscarried also, although she was only 6 weeks at the time, we had already known she was pregnant because she tested as soon as her period was missed....It was absolutely heartbreaking to me that it could happen to 2 people in the same family so close together and it brought back all of the feelings I had about losing my own baby.


As for me I was offered 2 options. The D&E or to be admitted to the hospital to induce labor and deliver. I chose to deliver. The doctor described the D&E and it made me sick. They inserted 2 pills into my vagina which began contractions and I delivered everything at once. It seems like the best option because you then get to see and hold your baby and take the time you need to say goodbye. I hope she is given this opportunity!

I am so sorry for all that you have been through!

 

[Andypanda6570]

Andypanda I'm so sorry! This happened to me as well. I went in for a routine check up when I should have been 18 weeks and they found no heartbeat and swelling and determined the baby passed at 16 weeks. Exactly 1 week later, my sister in law miscarried also, although she was only 6 weeks at the time, we had already known she was pregnant because she tested as soon as her period was missed....It was absolutely heartbreaking to me that it could happen to 2 people in the same family so close together and it brought back all of the feelings I had about losing my own baby.


As for me I was offered 2 options. The D&E or to be admitted to the hospital to induce labor and deliver. I chose to deliver. The doctor described the D&E and it made me sick. They inserted 2 pills into my vagina which began contractions and I delivered everything at once. It seems like the best option because you then get to see and hold your baby and take the time you need to say goodbye. I hope she is given this opportunity!

I am so sorry for all that you have been through!

Thank you so much for sharing your story. They only offered me the D and E Not anything else. Where are you I mean what state, Maryland ? Maybe when my BIL said they had options he meant the pills you are talking about, now I wonder why I was not offered that Thanks again and I am so sorry for your loss

 

[FEDup1981]

Im so sorry for both ur losses. Thats so dreadful. I hope that you can find comfort in one another xxx

 

[django31]

so sorry for both of your precious angels xxx

 

[kam78]

How are you today Andrea?? Been thinking a lot of you and your family ... Thank you for informing me what a D&E is, that sounds terrible! So, thankful my doctor didn't even mention this cuz I wouldn't have had a clue & probably just went with the flow not knowing all the options ...

Mommy2lilmen... You are a strong amazing mom! Them kiddos are so very lucky to have you! Xoxo ...

(( Big Hugs!! )) Sent to you all Ladies... Muaaahhh!

 

[Neko]

Thank you so much for sharing your story. They only offered me the D and E Not anything else. Where are you I mean what state, Maryland ? Maybe when my BIL said they had options he meant the pills you are talking about, now I wonder why I was not offered that Thanks again and I am so sorry for your loss

I'm in NJ and was only offered a D&E when I had a second trimester miscarriage last year. I would have rather been induced and seen the baby, but it wasn't given to me as an option. Maybe it depends on the doctor and hospitals in your area what's recommended?

to you and your sister-in-law.

 

[Andypanda6570]

Thank you so much for sharing your story. They only offered me the D and E Not anything else. Where are you I mean what state, Maryland ? Maybe when my BIL said they had options he meant the pills you are talking about, now I wonder why I was not offered that Thanks again and I am so sorry for your loss

I'm in NJ and was only offered a D&E when I had a second trimester miscarriage last year. I would have rather been induced and seen the baby, but it wasn't given to me as an option. Maybe it depends on the doctor and hospitals in your area what's recommended?

to you and your sister-in-law.

I am in New York and so is she and I was wondering why I was not offered to me? May I ask how far along you were? I know my BIL and he does NOT want her to get this so he will push to be induced, but I am just so upset why i was not offered this, thank god Ava came out on her own. I am so sorry for your loss and I really appreciate you helping me

 

[Neko]

I was just 15 weeks pregnant. Went in for an appointment and there was no more heartbeat. I was shocked as I had felt the baby moving the night before. Strangely enough, that was the only pregnancy where I had movement so early.

In the UK, the girls only seem to be offered the induction option. But they are usually taken care of by midwives who treat pregnancy a little differently than OBs. My OB (who recommended only the D&E) is definitely a very by the book medical kind of person. From a medical point of view, the D&E is done very quickly, under anesthesia, and is more controllable for the doctor. Physically you probably heal faster because your cervix is opened less. But I think emotionally it's harder because you don't get to see your baby.

 

[Andypanda6570]

I was just 15 weeks pregnant. Went in for an appointment and there was no more heartbeat. I was shocked as I had felt the baby moving the night before. Strangely enough, that was the only pregnancy where I had movement so early.

In the UK, the girls only seem to be offered the induction option. But they are usually taken care of by midwives who treat pregnancy a little differently than OBs. My OB (who recommended only the D&E) is definitely a very by the book medical kind of person. From a medical point of view, the D&E is done very quickly, under anesthesia, and is more controllable for the doctor. Physically you probably heal faster because your cervix is opened less. But I think emotionally it's harder because you don't get to see your baby.

How long did it take you to get your AF? I had Ava on March 3, bled for 2 weeks then got my AF on April 10th 2011
Thanks Again xoxoxo

 

[Neko]

I had the D&E on 1/30/10. Bled for about 2ish weeks. I got a period on 2/28, but it wasn't a true cycle. I know I didn't ovulate. Wasn't even expecting AF at all and it came during the Cub Scout Blue & Gold dinner. meh...

On April 4th (had to look up what day Easter was last year) I got my period from a normal cycle and got pregnant again that month.

 

[Andypanda6570]

I had the D&E on 1/30/10. Bled for about 2ish weeks. I got a period on 2/28, but it wasn't a true cycle. I know I didn't ovulate. Wasn't even expecting AF at all and it came during the Cub Scout Blue & Gold dinner. meh...

On April 4th (had to look up what day Easter was last year) I got my period from a normal cycle and got pregnant again that month.

I want to thank you very much for helping me, I appreciate it more than you know.

 

[Neko]

No problem. Sometimes it's easier to listen to what other women went through, then ask your doctor for advice.

 

[calm]

So sorry XXX

 

[Tasha]

I am so sorry sweetie, I hope that in time you will find comfort in each other.

I am in the UK, and was induced (but I was over 24 weeks). It is the doctors (or obs as you would say), that make this decision because you care is immediately passed to their care if your baby grows its wings because it is now counted as 'high risk'. They chose to do it this way (and no d and e, or c-sections) because the risk of infection etc with any operation is increased, plus it is better mentally for Mum to deliver her baby rather than have an operation.

Not saying there shouldnt be a choice btw, just what they say.