oh says he can't do sperm sample

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by donnarobinson, Jun 12, 2013.

  1. donnarobinson

    donnarobinson Mommy Of 3 Boys

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    He says he can't finish by doing it him self or even me doing it .. I think he's nervous to find out the results I'm pretty certain he's got a low sperm count .. But if he won't do the test how can ino he says he can only finish thru bd ! And u can't do that. I have no idea what to do.. There is no other way2 do it is thre x
     
  2. Itsychik

    Itsychik Well-Known Member

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    Hi hun, I don't have any advice (I have no idea how they take a sample otherwise) but sending you :hugs:

    Is it something you could bring up with a doctor and ask them if there are any alternatives for testing?

    Hope you get an answer soon :flower:
     
  3. donnarobinson

    donnarobinson Mommy Of 3 Boys

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    Thanks for the reply hun. Yeh I'm at the doctors later on today so I will mention it to himn x
     
  4. mrs edwards

    mrs edwards Well-Known Member

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    when my DH had to do one, the dr. offered two options, one being that he did it himself, which was best and the least likely to contaminate sample, or we could bd and he could pull out right before but that wasn't best.
    I don't know if my doc at the time was nuts...(well I kinda think he was but...lol) or what but if all else fails maybe that would work? I don't know.
    Just trying to offer some helpful answers.
     
  5. donnarobinson

    donnarobinson Mommy Of 3 Boys

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    Thanks for ur help hun, yeh I've thought about that but last time he was due to have one b4 I was pregnant I was told we can't do that because u still lose some sperm .. And the test would be inacurate , I will ask again tho and ask for any advice thank u 4 replying x
     
  6. mrs edwards

    mrs edwards Well-Known Member

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    oh yes...I didn't think about losing some...so sorry hun. Hopefully your dr has an idea or some sort of plan for you!
    XXXX
     
  7. donnarobinson

    donnarobinson Mommy Of 3 Boys

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    Thanks hun x I'm hoping I will fall pregnant in time just as I did with my son but its easy to say ill relax and hard to do so x
     
  8. mrs edwards

    mrs edwards Well-Known Member

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    I hear ya! totally understand. That's what is nice about these boards is that the women on here are all here for the same reasons. I try to talk to my mom and sister about it and my mom is just totally befuddled by it all because when she got pg with me, it was kind of a surprise, and then the same thing with my sister.
    Then my sister, who is a nurse, I would think would have all these great helpful answers and plus she's my sister however, this isn't the point she's at in her life and surprisingly she knows very little about the OB field. Plus when I want to "just talk" to her about how I feel, like a best friend, she tends to be rather scientific and cold.
    Then again that's just how my sister is.
    The only female friend that I felt like I could really talk to except all of you on here, started ttc last month and guess what...she's already pg...so therefore I can't imagine complaining to her about all this stuff now when she's thinking nursery and baby clothes and names...etc.
     
  9. Pirate

    Pirate Retired

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    Personally, I would tell him to put his big boy panties on (or I guess take them off in this case) and get the job done. But I've never been accused of being sensitive towards people who know what they need to do and come up with excuses not to do it.

    Give him an analogy that he can understand; presumably he checks the oil/fluids in your car(s) on a regular basis. Why does he do this? Because if he doesn't and the oil gets low, it can really mess the car up. If he doesn't check it regularly, presumably he would check it when a check engine light on. If he doesn't check things out when the check engine light is on, chances are that the car is going to blow up. Well, his check engine light is on (several unsuccessful months of TTC). He should want to find out answers before the heartache of long term TTC.

    Just my two cents. :)
     
  10. mrs edwards

    mrs edwards Well-Known Member

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    well pirate...that's one way to look at it....lol. Sometimes I guess tough love is the way to go.
    I on the other hand am always afraid of hurting someone's feeling....my dh is very non-confrontational, therefore it would have been a long talk about what I needed him to do.
    Actually, I have to admit, I was a little shocked when I told him that they wanted to test him and he was like "oh, ok that's fine." and he said and did all this with no hesitation.
     
  11. mrs edwards

    mrs edwards Well-Known Member

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    also my dad went to the jeweler once to get my mom a gift and it was funny because he happened to make the comment "I don't understand how if she already has a bracelet (or whatever it was) why on earth she needs another one" and the jeweler, who is a family friend, came back quickly with a very similar answer to his question, he said "well, can you ever have enough guns?". I thought it was funny because it was a way to put it that would hit home for my dad. lol.
     
  12. calm

    calm Well-Known Member

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    My DH was very wound up about doing a SA. Its just he is quite an anxious guy, and the idea of doing it in a cup and then taking it in a car to a clinic made him feel quite ill. So I do understand. I personally never ever suspected my DH had a problem. He is young (29), extremely healthy, never drinks smokes or does drugs... turned out he has severe male factor that is genetic and unconnected to lifestyle, and could never get a woman pregnant without a special type of IVF (ISCI). So all I can say its important he gets checked out. I personally would try to take any pressure of him. I asked DH if he wanted "help", but he didn't so I didn't push that, I try to give him as much time as he needs (within the time you have to take sample), and I don't talk about it much the days or hours before and I made sure he was distracted. He has to abstain for a few days before SA, so that works up a bit of a sexual appetite, you could suggest something you don't normally do to spice it up? Watch a "special" video with him, something that could make it a bit of a treat. Its finding the balance between not putting pressure on the situation as most men will go backwards, and giving him the support to know you are there to do what it takes to make it easier on him. Having said all this: men! They don't know they are born! What about the long painful tests we have to do! Big hugs XXXX
     
  13. donnarobinson

    donnarobinson Mommy Of 3 Boys

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    Thank you girls x
     
  14. Sammie100

    Sammie100 Well-Known Member

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    What about other stimulation...like maybe a vibrator?
     
  15. MrsBroodyPant

    MrsBroodyPant Well-Known Member

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    My DH has done 3 SA's.
    The first 2 he did at home and then took it to the hospital straight away but some of the sperm die in that time. The 3rd time he had to do it in the hospital with some magazines lol. He couldn't believe the hospital gave out magazines like that! lol It is a hard thing to do but it depends how badly he wants a baby. He will do anything if he wants it bad enough.
    Perhaps tell him that if he cant do it, then the doctor has said he will withdraw sperm with a big needle through his man bits. He will soon be doing it the easy way lol
    xxx
     
  16. Hysteria824

    Hysteria824 Well-Known Member

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    Why not practice doing the deed together?! On days of no ovulation, play about and practice - or if it was me, I wouldn't tell him what I was doing. See if you can get him the whole way in the bedroom - don't even mention the dreaded T word!! **TEST**

    My oh has done 3 sperm tests (bad news for us - but I don't want to worry you) twice he did it at home and took the sample with him to the hospital, the last time he did it in a room booked out at the hospital. Either war he's going to have to do it. Don't men understand what women have to go through - I'd choose a sample any day over the prodding and poking we have!!

    Hope you can convince him otherwise x
     
  17. donnarobinson

    donnarobinson Mommy Of 3 Boys

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    Your so right girls thank you x
     
  18. Erin418

    Erin418 Member

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    My husband was given the option of using a collection condom for the sample. Some men are against masturbation for religious reasons and this is the way around that restriction.
     

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