Ohhh so selfish....but Im still hurting

[Mrs.Stinski]

My husband and I have been TTC for several years now, finally got my BFP in June only to end in MC in August. I know how absolutely selfish this is going to sound but I have just got to get it out there...my brother just called me and his wife is pregs....again. And of course when he called to "let me down easy" about it all I could do was bawl my eyes out. Actually I still am as I type this. I know its selfish, part of me is happy for them, but another part of me is hurting because I want that to be me. I guess Im happy for them, but sad for myself....or something like that. Im rambling now...but have any of you other ladies experienced feeling like this??

 

[Chiles]

Sorry about your MC, and its okay to feel that way. I cried my eyes out after my last cycle was cancelled. I felt like giving up. And I have several friends and family memebers that are currenty expecting, and just had babies and I distant myself from them for a few days and then I came around. We understand. Our day is coming soon.

 

[trying hard]

not selfish at all. I totally understand!!!

My sister who started trying at the same time as me now has a daughter that is 16 months old!!! Every time I see her I get upset knowing that I should have one the same age doing the same things. We are allowed to feel a bit sorry for ourselves sometimes. Infertility is a cruel fate.

 

[Mrs.Stinski]

Thanks ladies, Im glad Im not alone in this inner battle with these stinkin emotions.

 

[phoenixrose]

Trust me...no one in here is going to think you're selfish! We have all bawled our eyes out cause someone else has fallen pg. I had such a hard time this past Sunday going to my best friend's son's 1 year birthday party, because she started trying for him (#2 for her) 4 months after I started trying and now he's 1. The whole time I was just thinking: this could be me right now, and our kids could've been growing up together. So no, I don't think it's selfish, we just want what's fair, but unfortunately for us my mom was right, life's not fair...and it SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[cooch]

Your not selfish and are in the right place to vent. Its not fair hearing of people having luck when not trying/ not wanting more/ it also pissed me off when my friends are now on their 2nd's when I'm struggling to get my 1st. Just would be fairer if we could have our first before everyone else moved on with their 2nds and 3rds!!!

 

[NellyVille]

Not selfish at all hun. Perfectly understandable reaction to a horrible, horrible situation. xxx

 

[hopingforit]

I've only been TTC for 17 months this month but I can completely relate. I am never happy for anyone who becomes pregnant. I feel so horrible for feeling this way but how can I be happy when they get pregnant right away and here I am, month after month, facing disappointment. You are not wrong in feeling this way.

and lots of to you!

 

[Bambi86]

I completely feel your pain. My sister rang me today to tell me she is pregnant (unplanned) me and my husband have been trying 3 year. I have only just stopped crying. I wish I didnt feel so upset because it's happy news but it seems so unfair x

 

[LizMcD]

Yep I feel the same too. Perfectly normal to feel like that.

The best thing anyone has ever said to help me cope is 'don't be jealous of others because you don't want what they have got (ie their baby) you want what is to come to you and that's your own baby, a part of you.'

True or not this gives md a little comfort. Stay positive and believe it's comjng to you, it will happen xx

 

[Mrs.Stinski]

You ladies are the best!! Thanks for your kind words and for understanding.