Ohhhhhh what do i do?!?!?!

o0oCharlieo0o

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I have had 3 babies already this one is my 4th, i found out with all 3 of my babies what gender they were whilst pregnant, this time we intended to have a suprise package, but........ My daughter who has just turned 3 is adamant she is having a baby sister and if you tell her it might be a boy she gets really upset and cries, she kisses my belly and says she loves her baby sister etc, do i find out the gender of the baby purely so that if i am having a boy i can prepare her for a baby brother by taking her shopping to buy all the boys stuff and she can become used to the idea of a baby brother? Im really worried that if i dont find out and i do have a boy she wont be prepared and she will be really upset, what would you ladies do?
 
That's a tough one!! what does your partner think of it? I really admire how people can resist knowing and it must be such an awesome experience at birth.
personally my oldest son really wants a girl and I am finding not just because of him, i'm too curious to know, but it will help him cope with the idea if its a boy before baby gets here and I just feel more attached to the baby after know what I'm having!
 
I wouldn't let it sway me from team yellow this time. Just keep reinforcing it could be a boy or girl. I'm sure once baby is born any disappointment will be short-lived for her xx
 
Ultimately, it is up to you. But, I do feel that, in your situation, I would find out the gender just to prepare her. It will probably be much easier for her once her new brother (providing it is a boy) arrives. Then again, if it is a girl, she can be even more excited at having a baby sister.
 
I find it hard not to find out myself im so used to finding out, and although iv never had gender dissapointment i have seen ladies with gender dissapointment and they are adults so im thinking its going to be a whole lot worse for a little girl who has truly beleived she is having a baby sister :/ my boys would like me to find out too what we are having but they dont mind so for that im not worried but for my daughter who for some reason believes she has talked to baby and it told her its a girl i dont want her little heart broken when the baby arrives when i could prepare her if i knew, my fiance is happy to find out or not he doesnt mind but he does understand my concern for our daughter because of just how adamant she is, at least if i took her to the scan and she heard the person scanning say what the baby was aswell maybe she would beleive it, i just want her prepared if shes having a brother :/ but id also like a suprise, i dont want to be gutted that i found out when i did want a suprise, but it would give me the chance to buy pink or blue which is also lovely
 
Oh that's a tough one! What's your partner's feeling on it? xx
 
Hard decision...

I would be finding out, I think it would be easier to prep her ahead of time then try and convince her afterwards that her little brother is awesome while trying to deal with a newborn. And it won't ruin it for her if it is a girl since she'll just be more excited!!

I found last time with my 5 yr old and I was glad I did, I was sure it was a girl and had been prepping him for that then.. OMG at 20 weeks found out it was another boy and it took me several months to prep him again.

Good luck!
 
My 4 year old will be gutted if hes not having a brother so we will be finding out so that if hes having a sister he has 20 weeks to get ysed to the idea x
 
I would go for finding out in this situation, we had a similar situation when we had our 3rd. Our daughter took it very badly but over time and by the time her brother arrived she'd really come round to the idea. x
 
I think I would stay team yellow, honestly.

You can't really protect her from the disappointment if its a boy, whether you find out now or wait until birth. She'll have to cope with the disappointment either way, and I think that your desires for the pregnancy/surprise factor matter too.

In the days before ultrasounds, everybody had to wait until the birth. People've been doing this for a really, really long time - she isn't the first big sister to want a little sister, and in the past they didn't get to learn ahead of time. She'll be fine if she has to wait.

There's also the chance that she's right, that its a girl, and you'd find out the gender early to try to ease her into a brother. Then you find out early for her sake, and all that ends up happening is ruining the surprise for yourself.

Part of the fun of choosing to be team yellow is that nobody knows for sure until the birth. Not even the siblings of the baby in question. Waiting builds character. :)
 
I think I would stay team yellow, honestly.

You can't really protect her from the disappointment if its a boy, whether you find out now or wait until birth. She'll have to cope with the disappointment either way, and I think that your desires for the pregnancy/surprise factor matter too.

In the days before ultrasounds, everybody had to wait until the birth. People've been doing this for a really, really long time - she isn't the first big sister to want a little sister, and in the past they didn't get to learn ahead of time. She'll be fine if she has to wait.

There's also the chance that she's right, that its a girl, and you'd find out the gender early to try to ease her into a brother. Then you find out early for her sake, and all that ends up happening is ruining the surprise for yourself.

Part of the fun of choosing to be team yellow is that nobody knows for sure until the birth. Not even the siblings of the baby in question. Waiting builds character. :)

This is exactly what I was going to say.
 
I will tell you this exact thing happened to my friend.. her son was ADAMANT he would ony have a sister, only wanted a sister.. they weren't going to find out but decided to incase it was a boy they could "prepare" him... they regretted finding out, he was horrendous for them, refusing to believe it was a boy, became very angry about it... eventually he just refused to acknowledge the baby even existed ... anyway long story short the baby was born and he instantly loved the baby, and even became a bit possessive of him, standing over him when others were holding him, (he was 3 ) and it all turned out great... I think in their situation they regretted telling him, it caused a lot of unnecessary stress for them and it turned out to be just fine !!!!!!
Personally id stay team yellow, but that's what we are dead set on this time , since we didn't last time and this may very well be our last baby!!!
 
I was team yellow with the first & again with this one. My dd is a bit older than yours, she's four and a half, but she wants a baby sister! I had the same thoughts as you - should I find out just to prepare her??

I decided not to.

When she mentions a girl, I tell her it could be either. When we look at baby clothes she knows not to choose blue or pink because we're having a surprise (not that I'm hugely into gender stereotyping but she is! :haha: ). I've said it so often that she's started offering boy & girl names & she knows we can't choose. In fact yesterday she said she'd like two babies - one of each!!!! :wacko: so I've done the job too well!!!

Like I say, I know she's older so easier to reason with (well, in theory!!!). But this wasn't her choice & she needs to learn that we don't always get everything we want. She'll cope & I know she'll be a great big sister.

Good luck making the choice that's best for you & your family :)
 
Every child handels things differently. It all depends on where you think she will respond better with time to prepare or if she sees such a special little bundle and then finds out.

A friend of mine is pregnant with her 5th and has found out the sex but no one but her and her OH know because her childen keep wanting one or the other and she feels her children will handle it better if they find out the sex once it's here. Hers are 9, 7, 5 and 2.

My 2 both want it to be a girl purely because if it's a boy they will have to switch bedrooms in a couple years and they don't want too haha! We are not finding out. Mine are 7 so can understand more thou.

Good luck which ever way you decide to go. :)
 
I will tell you this exact thing happened to my friend.. her son was ADAMANT he would ony have a sister, only wanted a sister.. they weren't going to find out but decided to incase it was a boy they could "prepare" him... they regretted finding out, he was horrendous for them, refusing to believe it was a boy, became very angry about it... eventually he just refused to acknowledge the baby even existed ... anyway long story short the baby was born and he instantly loved the baby, and even became a bit possessive of him, standing over him when others were holding him, (he was 3 ) and it all turned out great... I think in their situation they regretted telling him, it caused a lot of unnecessary stress for them and it turned out to be just fine !!!!!!
Personally id stay team yellow, but that's what we are dead set on this time , since we didn't last time and this may very well be our last baby!!!

I was going to say something similar, I've never had a friend with this scenario but I know with my own children, everybody is much more sane ;) if I just wait on certain things, we knew we were finding out and so kudos to you! Waiting is hard!!! I think if you just leave it be and tell her once baby is here, it will cause a lot less frustration for everyone! Good luck!
 
Difficult one, depends on your dd and how you think she'll handle things either way.

Last time I was team yellow (loved it) and my preference would be to stay team yellow this time. However, my dd is also adamant this will be a girl and gets very upset at the possibility of a boy. I have a gender scan booked for today (can't take her to nhs one) so she can come along and hear someone 'medical' tell her which it is.

Right now I think she gets upset because she feels she is being given the option to choose, she just can't grasp that we don't get to decide. I'm hopeful that once she hears which it is she'll quickly settle into the idea either way.

The difference is that I'm not devastated to be finding out early, whilst not my preferance it is giving me the opertunity to experience both. I do think you have to weigh your knowledge of your dd (and what you feel will work best for her) and how you feel about things too.

Best of luck whatever you decide :flower:
 
I would stay with team yellow, like they say, waiting builds character. As well, you can still prepare DD by reinforcing that it could be a boy or a girl and mention/acknowledge that DD would prefer a sister. She'll hear you, she may not accept it but once baby comes she will in her own time. That is better for kids than protecting them - they are resilient little people and like us, need to learn to deal with not getting what we want all the time. My SIL lied to her kids about death when their cats died, eventually they figured it out and now don't trust their mom as much because she lied to them about too many things. She'll be ok, you lead the way and she'll adjust!
 
Im team yellow and my son is convinced im having a girl. I keep reminding him that it could be a boy or girl. Im sorry but I wouldnt ruin my suprise for anybody - not even my child! X
 
Well i find out through all this that my fiance really wants to know too he just never said because i wanted a suprise, all the kids want me to find out aswell, and to be fair im not bothered whether i find out of not, I'll find out either July or December so makes no odds to me really lol so looks like we will be finding out in July now at the 20 week scan, i personally think thats the best for my daughter as she will be ready for the gender she has coming, i know her well enough to know it will hit her hard the day the baby is born if she doesn't know, plus i can go buy the right colours, i dont feel upset that im going to find out, more excited really, thank you everyone for all your help i really do appreciate it :)
 

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