Ok,a little morbid but....

[nikky0907]

The closer I am to my due date the more stuff goes through my mind.

I started thinking about what happens if I die in childbirth or something happens to me while she is very young.

I know,morbid and crazy but this stuff happens and I really want to be prepared for this so she suffers as less stress as possible and there are no confusions.

I mean is her dad the person she goes to? If I die in childbirth he still has to sign the birth certificate,does that mean she automaticly goes to his care?

Or should I write some kind of a paper that says to whom the custody goes to?

I am now worried if that happens how will he deal with her? Maybe it's better to give the custody to my sister,she is already raising one boy(her stepson) and is really good at it?

What do you guys think? And what are your plans?

Exuse the depressing,crazy,'gives me the chills' kind of theme....

xxx

 

[maybebaby]

I would definitely have a will drawn up - there are sites online you can do it yourself, or you could meet with a lawyer. It is best to have all your wishes written out, including who takes the baby. If you are putting the father on the birth certificate, she will most likely go to him, unless he agrees to another arrangement - which can also be put in the will.

 

[brownhairedmom]

I'm doing a will. I was talking about this with my family the other day. I'm giving custody of the baby to my sister. What else do you put in a will? Its not like I have any big posessions or anything.

 

[nikky0907]

Gosh,I can belive I am 19 years old and drawing up a will!

But definitely the best thing.I don't want any fights about this or something.

Smart thinking,you're ahead of me

I think I will talk to Nathan and my sister and then give her to him,put it on written,even though he will be on the birth certificate.I don't want any fights about it.

But to who in god's name do I leave my possesions?!



Rae will you meet up with a lawyer?

 

[Younglutonmum]

I was thinking about this the other day!!

In England you can buy DIY will kits so I plan to get one!! I just want to make it clear that my mum will be LO's guardian. I'm not too bothered about my possessions really. I'm sure if anything happened my mum would prob keep my jewellary & sentimental things for the LO.

My mums will is drawn up & despite my brothers dad being on his birth certificate i'm to be given guardianship of him should she pass away. Parental reasponsiblity laws changed in December 2003 here & Lewis was born in October 1998 so the fact his dad is on the birth certificate makes no difference thx god!!

 

[demonmadcat]

I'm currently trying to draw up a will.

The problem I have come accross is leaving the house to LO..

If I leave it to her, she will go to her father, and therefore so will the house... NOT A CHANCE!!!!

So.. I've got to put it in the will that I want it holding in trust for her until she reaches a certain age...

He aint getting my house..... NEVER...

Em
x

 

[Moulder86]

I've not really thought about this but somehow I don't think that his dad would want him or cope with him for that matter!

But then again I don't know if my parents could cope with having a baby around full time again either.

 

[Younglutonmum]

I think it's something to have in place

You just never know what's around the corner

 

[nikky0907]

Exactly! God forbid something happens to either of us but as long as I know the LO is well taken care off in that case,I can sleep more peacefully...

 

[Irishmum]

I was just talkin to my mum bout this this evening, she was really reluctant to hear about it at first but eventually we got down to the nitty gritty and we are contacting our lawyer over the next day or two.

I think it's pretty important for your own peace of mind and for everyone else's. And there is no way come hell or high water I am giving my childs father the oppertunity to just swing in if anything happens and 'decide' to be a dad.

Might sound harsh but such is life!

 

[~ Vicky ~]

Oh thank god it's not just me who's been thinking about this!

If something were to go wrong during my labour then i'd want my Mum to take care of Ava for me and she knows that. I highly doubt her Dad will want to take her and he doesn't live the right kind of lifestyle to take in a baby. I do worry about his parents suddenly taking an interest though and taking her. There's no way on this earth Gav's side of the family is having her. Dead or not, I decide what happens to her.

I really should get on with making this official too. It's crazy the things us single-mums have to think about.

 

[Younglutonmum]

You know, im sure you don't even need to go to a solicitors

Juts write down your wishes, sign & date. Then get someone to sign as a witness then put that the paper away for safe wishes & make your babys guardian aware that such paper exsisits

Im sure i've read that somewhere

 

[leeanne]

I am thinking that even though you may want her to go to someone else, even if named on the will, the father has the higher advantage and could contest that will. Especially in a situation such as yours where the father will be seeing that child and doing what he can to help provide for the child.

The two people most important to that child are the mother and the father. If either one passes away, the best interest of that child is taken into consideration. If the father is a good guy with no addictions, etc. the court will probably award the father with custody.

No will is set in stone. Even though they are your wishes, a will can be contested.

 

[maybebaby]

I am thinking that even though you may want her to go to someone else, even if named on the will, the father has the higher advantage and could contest that will. Especially in a situation such as yours where the father will be seeing that child and doing what he can to help provide for the child.

The two people most important to that child are the mother and the father. If either one passes away, the best interest of that child is taken into consideration. If the father is a good guy with no addictions, etc. the court will probably award the father with custody.

No will is set in stone. Even though they are your wishes, a will can be contested.

Thanks Leeanne... was trying to say that but couldn't find the words!!!

 

[brownhairedmom]

What if he isn't on the birth certificate? Can he have a DNA test done and then get custody?

 

[leeanne]

If he is quite serious about being a part of that child's life, and he does get the DNA done and proves it's his child, the court will certainly decide "in the best interest of the child."

However, other things need to be considered. As in, if he takes an interest in the child, if he visits the child, if he helps provide financially for the child. But even so, equality for the father is gaining increasing importance in the eyes of the court.

As in Amy's case, sounds like the father is a good guy and he wants to be there financially and physically for their child. A court will probably look at the track record and irregardless if her sister was put on the will, if the father contests then it's likely the court will decide in his favor.

 

[nikky0907]

Yeah,I actually though about it and Nathan will certainly get full custody in case something happens to me.
But I am gonna put it on writing to make everything official.

But it's crazy that Adam and such idiots on here that walk out of their kids lives can contest it and win! Thats not the child's best interest!

 

[armychicmkm]

I can only speak for the U.S. on estate law.

It is absolutely positively best to have a will drawn up and preferably by a lawyer - especially where children are concerned. If you really do not want the father to have custody after you can write that into the will with the reasoning for it and name another guardian for your child. The court is more likely to uphold the will if the father is specifically excluded and not just left out. As for your possessions, if they are not accounted for in a will they will be passed down by the probate court based on a list they use for determining heirs. First is spouse, second is children, third is parents, I believe grandchildren are fourth, and then nieces and nephews and stuff come after that. If you do not want your parents, certain child, etc. to receive anything again you have to specifcally denounce them in the will otherwise if they contest the will they have a good chance of winning.

 

[nikky0907]

Oh thanks!

I am meeting up with the lawyer to help me with this.Since Nathan is the biological and will be the legal father so he will be getting the custody.And I guess the possesions will be left to Lola-Rose (in fact her father,then she will get them once she turns 18).

 

[leeanne]

Here's a case to look into. How about the case of Anna Nicole Smith with regards to custody of her daughter after she died?

Howard Stern, the biological father and Anna Nicole Smith's mother were fighting in a custody battle. Custody went to the biological father.