Older sibling having issues after new baby is here

[usone123]

My DD is 6 and I gave birth to her little brother last week. She is very excited to be a big sister and has been showing off her big sister shirt and pictures of him and them together, but she's been regressing a bit this week.

She's had issues with lip excema from licking her lips so much. It went on for many months and it was psychological and we just helped her find ways to relax/destress (deep breathing, reading, listening to music) and finally it stopped a few months back.

She's now been licking for the last week.

She's also had increased potty accidents at school. She always has an increase of accidents when she has a growth spurt but there is no sign of a spurt going on. If she does it's usually once during the day. Today she had 3 accidents.

any experience with this and suggestions on how to get her used to him being here? We are making sure to spend time with her and still paying attention to her, watching movies as a family and making her feel special for being a big sister now too. I know this is all very normal, but we just haven't had to deal with it first hand before and want to make it easier on her.

thanks!
Rae

 

[RachA]

Hi. Sorry but i don't have any real advice but i didn't want to read and run.
My son was only 2 when lo was born so the situation was a bit different. I would of though that it'd be best to try and not make a big thing of the lip licking and wetting. Carry on giving her a lot of attention etc and hopefully it'll all settle down soon.

 

[duckytwins]

We have 7 year old twin boys and baby due soon. One of our boys seems to have a lot of anxiety about baby coming and has been twirling his hair to the point he's actually pulling it out. We've been giving him things to keep his hands busy, but that only helps the pulling hair problem not the anxiety about baby. The psychologist at his school just gave me a book about adding a baby to the family. It's a Berenstain Bears book. We just got it, so are yet to read it. I'm hoping it helps since he's familiar with the Barenstain Bears.

Otherwise, we've just been asking him if he has any questions about how things will change and involving him as much as we can. Since baby isn't here yet, I can't help with that part, but it sounds like you are doing the right things. I heard after a dramatic change at home, kids can regress a little (like the potty accidents), and positive reinforcement helps. Maybe start a reward system with her? A sticker for every day accident free then a prize at the end of the week if she gets a sticker everyday? Good luck! I know it's heartbreaking to see LO struggle and have stress/anxiety, but since you've identified the problem and are tying to help her, you are on the right path.

 

[usone123]

thanks. this week shes been on school vaca for thanksgiving and so far no potty accidents and limited lip licking so maybe being home with him all day every day with me is helping her realize she still gets attention (hopefully).

I thought about a sticker chart if she goes back to having accidents when shes back in school next week.....

 

[duckytwins]

Glad to hear she's doing better!