Omg mother-in-law *rant*

[1plus1equals3]

Ok so Im 28 weeks pregnant and chose the name before i ever got my BFP. Me and the hubby both love it. Our sons name is going to be Jagger Logan, and my very christian mother in law hates it! lol. She lives in VA and we live in Ok, She has been calling every night for the past few nights crying to my husband begging us to change the name or switch it around (Lady, its not your child keep your opinion to yourself!), She has also mentioned that shes not going to call him Jagger, shes going to call him Logan (uhh, no your not!). I dont want my kid to be all messed up and not know what his name is. lol. We arent naming him after Mick Jagger, thats the question i get all the time, we just thought it was cute, and his middle name is Logan because me and the hubby met at a bar called Logans. She named her kids David, Mike, and John after the bible, and wants me to do the same. NO.... I want my kids name to be different, not common. She also is demanding that I let her be in the room while i give birth, and i dont need some crying lady praying over me the whole time im in pain. She keeps asking when she should book her flight (like i know the exact date hes gonna pop out of me). Im seriously thinking about getting a private room under a fake name, my friend did this because she had the same problem im having. Im just sick and tired of having this woman call and tell me that im chosing a bad name for my baby, or that shes not going to call him by his first name. seriously get over it, I already have a blanket with his name on it, the baby shower invitation already has his name on it and its just going to stay that way. If your not going to listen to my wishes as the mother of the child, then you obviously dont need to be around me after i have him. Also i have ALOT of baby clothes with cute little skulls and stuff like that, and if he has hair i plan on giving him a cute little mohawk . Shes gonna flip, she thinks im trying to make my child a "devil worshiper" WTF?! no, hes just gonna be cute. Im also planning on using cloth diapers, because they are sooo effin cute and you cant smell the poop thru them! Everything i want to do with my baby is wrong in her eyes, so seriously i dont want her around till hes about 18 years old. lol, i dont need someone telling me that im raising my child wrong, or feeding him wrong... Just had to get that out, Thanks for listening ladys, i needed to vent

 

[PrincessJenna]

I didn't tell no one while I was in labour as didn't want anyone there except me and my oh

 

[xsarahbellax]

OMG why does she think she has the right to be in the room with you?? Surely from her own experience of giving birth she knows it's not the time you want a room full of people.. personally I think it's an experience for just you & your other half to share. As for the name.. she chose her kids names based on her beliefs/opinions, now it's your turn & she needs to accept that again, it is a decision for you & your other half! Grrrrr she's made me really mad!!! Stick to your guns hun!!

 

[pixydust]

how dare she??

 

[1plus1equals3]

Lol, i love you guys! Thank god im not just over reacting

XsarahbellaX- Yep and thats all i ask for, i just want it to be me and my husband, and if anyones mom's gonna be in there it going to me MINE. lol. Good luck with everything and i hope you get your BFP REALLY SOON!!!

pixydust- Were only a few days apart on our DD, getting nervous yet?

 

[caRISSasBump]

Oh my mother in law is driving me crazy with baby names too, we're only 6 weeks preg & she's been text messaging me names she likes & poo pooing the once DH & i like or love. I don't want to tell the name till baby is born so people are less likely to poo poo it then. Well i hope anyways!

 

[Mummymac]

hehe I just love mother in law rants!!!

They can be such a pain in the ass!

I hope your OH gets her told that YOUR the mummy!!!

Good luck xx

 

[ginasgemz]

My own mother is like that When we told her our daughter's name is going to be Ashlynn, she said: "oh well, we'll just call her Anna"...to which I said, the ##$#$ you will! With all of our children she wanted to change our decision till the last minute. She seriously gets offended and upset that we are not doing things according to her desires. She gets physically sick because of it. Luckily we live far away and as much as I love her otherwise, I am glad we don't have do deal with this on a day-to-day basis. You need to put your feet down -both you and your DH- because if someone talks into it on this level, she won't stop at the name only..she'll question and attack every single decision of yours about your baby's upbringing. I don't know what some parents are thinking....

 

[menageriemom]

Oh my gosh! You are not overreacting at all... that is nuts! Regardless of the name it is YOUR decision and YOUR child and not hers! If you and your DH love the name, don't let her push you around

My MIL is very religious too (and also lives in VA, hah) and if she tries to pull that stuff I will disconnect her quickly!

 

[MUMOF5]

. I had a few MIL issues (still do sometimes), unfortunately I cant get aweay from her, she lives next door !!! Seriously though, just dont tell her when you go into labour, or tell her they put your dd back by 2 weeks?? I had the name issue thing with my MIL, she wanted us to name our last daughter after her (Toni) and I wanted to name her after my nans. We named her Daisy Madeleine May when she was born and she commented that a daisy isnt even a flower, its a weed !!!!!!! then when we changed her names around (we swapped Madeleine and Daisy around as Daisy just didnt suit her) she said 'lets just hope shes not dyslexic' ???!!!!. Its not that hard a name to spell !! xx

 

[babybumpage]

So a few ideas that might help. First, if she's going to try and insist on being in the room, tell her the doctor has informed you only the Husband is allowed in the room, as the "flu issues" have become a concern. Family members will only be allowed in at the doctors discretion after all have been deemed well, and that way it's not something that you can control in her eyes, it's the regulations of the hospital. Next, the name. I've found that sometimes letting my husband handle his mother has been the easiest trick. I tell him that I can't handle any stress, and she needs to be 'corrected', and it's his job to do that. It's my job for my family, his job for his family. If my mother in law ever made that comment, I would politely and firmly tell her that this child is not hers, and she's more than welcome to be a part of the child's life, but the first thing they must be able to do is know and use the child's given name, no alternatives!

 

[moochacha]

Omg Jagger is such a cute name! It's more than cute though its kinda edgy perfect for a boy! Super original!

 

[moochacha]

My ex MIL (my son's grandmother) was calling every 5 mins while I was in labor, then his whole family came in the room straight after he was born I was giving my son his first feed and I hadn't cleaned up. I lost so much blood during the birth and I was still naked! They didn't even knock they just came straight in without warning.

I had no pressure from my family, my Dad didn't book his tickets to see me until I had the baby and then spent the week with us but staying at a friends house.

This is such a beauitful moment for the whole family, you're going to be working your butt off in labor the last thing you need is people you're not 100% comfortable around. I hope this works out for you and I hope she backs off a little!

 

[Dragonfly]

I had skull hat for my son when leabving hospital and t shirt and sckull socks at some point, he looked really cute in them but was also called devil worshipper by my mum and the fact he isnt christened makes him the devils child she thinks (even though she hasnt been to mass in 16 years or said a prayer) anwyay my mum flipped over names also, she would come out with these names i didntlike and anything I liked she hated! made fun of and picked out faults. Then would come up with things like Ruddolf and get offended when I didnt want to use my dads name of any family ones . She couldn't get why I wouldnt called my child after my dad Johan, nothing personal its my kid ffs! I was picked on for a weird name and he wont be, ensures another row there! at the end he was called after Darrens dad William, normal nice name and she never opened her mouth as darrens dad is dead and for once i think she knew what to keep it closed,. Thougyh the second name was then a problem! didnt want my other halfs surname at all! stamped her feet about him being on the birth cert! we lived together for years ffs , she would say she wanted their family name or her maiden name but not his. He over head this and all more than once then when she found out he heard she tried to pretend you would get more money on the dole if he wasnt on it! even more pathetic excuse. We dont speak 19 months on, that all started with names to,

 

[babybumpage]

she wanted HER maiden name? I'm sorry, but that's just a bit absurd! How would you explain to a child he doesn't have his fathers name, he has his grandmothers maiden name?? I can only imagine explaining that to a child... I don't think that would be wise! I'm sorry to say this, but I can totally understand your husband never wanting to speak to her again. She's totally pushed the line on that one in my opinion. Yikes! These are the exact reasons we won't be sharing our child's name until AFTER the child is born. We will make it completely clear that we are NOT accepting reccomendations, and we are NOT allowing visitors in the hospital. Visitors will be given a phone call when we are accepting them, and we will call specific people and give them specific days and times to visit. I'm easily overwhelmed, so this is only best for everyone. I've had 10 surgeries in the past 7 years, and my family has been fantastic about them. I've had 5 of them since I've been with my husband, and the last 4 of them we lived an hour away from his family, and they called 4 hours before showing up to let me know they were coming over... the day after surgery!! These were all shoulder surgeries, so I had to call my parents (an hour away) to come clean my house and prepare the lunch that I was expected to make for his parents. So the last surgery, my mom was there, but his parents were not given a day or time. We just told them we would call them after it was over. It also helps we moved 3000 miles away!!!! Downside, they have an airplane and we completely expected them to fly in ><. Luckily, without a day or time, they couldn't! BUT UGH, why do people think they could walk into a hospital room? It's totally the moment for the new family, not the extended family! There are plenty of more appropriate times for that!

 

[Dragonfly]

The non christening was the major row, he needs protecting from the devil apparently. She isnt even religious! she just is afraid of being embarassed as usual by me beucase I dont do as everyone else done in the family. Which is why no one comes near me in my family because he isnt christened and breastfed. Suits me, I dont have to put up with narrow mindness any more. She treats my OH like he dosnt have a say in anything since he has found he has a say she has backed off, my son is never allowed near her house ever because of her absurd parenting ways and my violently jealous sister. If I wasnt doing something her way then it was the wrong way and I got to hear all about how I was passed off and put in second hand boys clothes just for buying my new baby a pack of vests. She has a way of making me feel like shit like no one else can. She treated my son like he is stupid becuase he isnt getting enough things in him like formula and isnt the right height, shape size even though he is over avarge on everything. You just cant please her so finailt we dont speak, she tried to break my dad off from me by interfering as she is jealous of us talking, not telling him when I text, called and answering his phone and being down right rude to me. He didnt even know half the times i needed him and couldnt get through her. She sits in the car now when my dad comes in with a sour face on her. My sister will not let them spend any time with me any way and she rules them. They pass my house every day for 2 months and never once called in to see how their grandson because i had asked my mum what her problem was when shouting at my son for asking her what something was.

So much more peaceful now we dont speak.

 

[babybumpage]

wowow o wowowow I can't even imagine that! I mean, husbands family doesn't really love me, (we were engaged 6 months after meeting, married after 1.5 years) because we lived together before marriage, but I was completing my masters degree and I mean, we're like 26/27 when we met, so we're not young kids. But I swear they thought for sure I was just marrying him for money, they wanted a pre-nup, etc. Which is funny, because neither of us really have any money! They call him and ask all these questions about me, and then they tell him about family business and then tell him not to tell me! They think that he will sit there and not share info, but the thing was, it was a family business, he was employed, so that meant the family business was directly related to our family income and well being, so I do think I had a right to know.

But... If they so much as even dared to say anything like that to me about or to to my children, they'd be out the door so fast they wouldn't know what him em! I think you are better off for a while...

 

[Nathyrra]

I don't think there's a single name on the planet that's going to please absolutely everyone at the same time! There's always naysayers and killjoys, it's usually the MIL! lmao. I think it's a lovely unique name. She's being stubborn now prolly hoping you'll change your mind. It would peeve me off though if my MIL insisted on calling my son by his middle name instead. In that case you could just teach bubs in time to say 'no grandma, my name's Jagger!'

Dragonfly - my family are also shocked I'm not going the christening route. They're not in the slightest bit religious yet they still think it's a rite of passage, or perhaps they're sulking cos it'll be a lost opportunity to eat cake.

 

[Dragonfly]

mine offered to pay for it and all its the reputation they worry about ,i am an awful person for not letting him be christened and say he is to young to say he dosnt want it where as I argue he is to young to say he does! its up to him later on in life and his daddys side is a different religion but they do not care about that.

 

[trumpetbum]

Oh my god. I thought I was hard done by because my mil said noone liked the name we originally had 'Gabriel' or that it was a cissy name. At the end of the day I know she wouldn't start calling him something else when he was born.
Jagger's an old english name, it's just not used much. Tell her she'll just have to lump it or little Jagger will think she's the 'crazy old granny ho never gets his name right!!'