On the road again graduates

[Starry Night]

It's not about the rupture. I"m actually not afraid of that. I'm more afraid of the pain or damaging my wahoo to the point I never like sex again or something going wrong with the baby (the fetal distress repeating itself). I have read up a lot on a VBAC so I don't really need more info. I just need to make a decision that I'm comfortable with. I had a good c-section experience and bonded well with my son so I don't have any regrets from last time. I honestly felt empowered in a more emotional way with how I dealt with the stress of my labour.

So how have you been feeling these days? Any sickness? Or are you holding on OK?

 

[ilovemyhubby]

yah, they are both scary options in their own way... im sure you will know what you need when its time...

ive been ok... feeling a some nausea... trying not to get excited, at least until i see a doctor and find out if there is a heartbeat and it is a viable pregnancy... i dunno if i am just feeling detached, or im just afraid to get my hopes up again... hopefully ill be able to get into the groove a little more or something...

how are you feelin today?

 

[Starry Night]

Today is not so bad. I made it through yesterday without using a single anti-nausea tablet. I felt a little nausea in the afternoon but I was able to work through it. I got gaggy in the evening but that happens every time I try to stay up late.

I think right now the worst part is I think I'm getting SPD. It's not horrible everyday but yesterday was a bad day. I feel cracks and grinding in my hips, groin and lower back. I'm still officially in the first tri so it makes me nervous about what will happen later in pregnancy. So far today it's not too bad.

And yesterday I felt the baby move. It made things feel a little more real. It's still early so I haven't felt it much. I'm still waiting for it today.

And I understand the detached feeling. When you lose a baby you don't want to get too attached. I think it's a form of self-preservation. I'm only now starting to feel excited about this pregnancy but I'm still nervous and saying "if the baby gets here" or "I think we might be having a baby in the spring". I am not really superstitious but I don't want to get my hopes up too high.

 

[RedWylder]

ilovemyhubby- don't worry about feeling detached. I think all of us in this thread felt that way in the beginning. When you go through a loss, it's natural to try and protect yourself from another heartbreak. Take it easy, focus on getting through the day and maybe this might be your rainbow. I have good vibes for you.

 

[Topanga053]

I agree. I think being a little detached (especially early on) while PAL is perfectly normal. I was incredibly detached for quite awhile and slowly started letting myself feel more like it's real, especially when I hit second tri and things were still fine.

And yay Starry for a healthy HB!!!!

Afm, sorry I've been MIA ladies. It's been a crazy week. Work is crazy and we're trying to close on the new house and hitting ALL SORTS of issues (title issues, the appraisal came in low so the bank unexpectedly wants us to bring ANOTHER $5,000 to closing NEXT WEEK..AGH!!!). Also, I had my GD test on Monday and failed. I'm going to call tomorrow to schedule the 3 hour test. It's not a big surprise... my mom either had or almost had GD with me and both of my parents are diabetic and a lot of my family members have diabetes, so I'm pretty genetically screwed. My sugar addiction doesn't help. The plus side is, I've seen so many people manage the disease so well (my mom has managed it for years with diet and exercise and no side effects) that I'm not too scared about it. So we'll just have to take the second test and see where that gets us! So Rayray, you might not be the only one on this thread with GD.

 

[Starry Night]

I'm sorry you failed the GD test. I wonder what the rates are of those who fail the first test only to pass the next. Or is it one of those things where if you fail the first test you are likely to fail the next?

I've always passed all my glucose tests and I feel the unfairness of it all because I'm still not really trying to eat healthy. Sometimes I fit some fruit in here and there but veggies are few and far between. I'm drinking iced tea and nibbling on chocolate all the time. I'm not craving a lot of sweet-tasting things, but I do crave a lot of the no-no's when it comes to starches and hidden sugars: potatoes, cheeses, sweet n'sour BBQ sauce, fruit juices, etc.

One thing I'm craving more than anything is deli meat. I asked my OB if it really is that big of a deal to have them during pregnancy and she said that she used to think it was not an issue but a few years back one of Canada's main supplier/producer of deli meat had a big listeria outbreak. Now she tells women that it's better to be safe than sorry. She said the risks are low but if it were to happen I'd never forgive myself. True, and DH has been forbidding me from deli, but I really want a turkey sub. *sighs* LOL

 

[Left wonderin]

Topanga I've my GD three hour test on Monday . Not sure what to expect re the results but no doubt whatever the outcome we will get by

 

[ilovemyhubby]

starry: hip pain sucks... i feel like my hips are barely back in place and ready to get all achy and uncomfortable all over again... ive also been getting wierd shooting nerve pain in my vagina... like the outside... im wondering if its from where i tore or what...

topanga & left wonderin: good luck with your blood glucose screening! that juice they make you drink is not fun, sorry you have to do the long one, i had the 3 hour my first time last pregnancy... hope you girls have super pancreas power that day and process the sugars really well =)

thanks for the encouragement ladies, im hoping i will feel better later in pregnancy too...
its just wierd since we lost her during labor its hard not to feel like there isnt a safe point, if that makes sense, hopefully ill be able to bond with this baby. the whole thing is just a bit scary for me. i really feel like if we lost this baby too and i didnt let myself enjoy being pregnant than i would feel terrible like i didnt want this baby or something, or didnt appreciate the pregnancy...

hope you gals are having a good night =) me and my cat are watching christmas movies and snuggling under covers... cold rainy nights are the best for that...

 

[anchor08]

Starry, congrats on the heartbeat! I know that's far from the end of worrying, but it's a huge step.

Ilovemyhubby, when is you're appointment? That first wait is a killer, hang in there!

I'm typing this one-handed with Evelyn sleeping in my lap after a middle-of-the-night feed, so I can't write much, but I want to give a much longer update, hopefully tomorrow. We're doing well though! Hugs to everyone.

 

[RedWylder]

Topanga and others concerned about GD- I just feel the need to clarify that the amount of sugar you eat or don't eat doesn't actually effect you getting this disease. Don't let yourself be tricked into thinking it's actually something you control because then there's that whole spiral of blame that's you don't need. I explained GD to some other friends the other day and they found it helpful so I'll copy and paste it here:

Basically- your cells need energy. Sugar provides that energy. Without sugar- they don't work and die. However, sugar can't get into your cells without insulin "opening the door". In gestational diabetes, your body has become insulin resistant which basically translates into you can't use sugar effectively and it takes a lot more insulin to get the sugar into your cells. If you don't control your sugar intake, all that sugar builds up in your blood and bad things happen. So you see- truly not your fault. It just happens when your pregnancy hormones cause your cells to resist insulin

 

[rayraykay]

Many women do go on to pass the 3 hour after failing the one hour. Lots of things can go into failing the one hour. However, it is a good sign that your doc sent you to do the 3 hour, some people fail the 1 hour so badly that it's clear they have GD and there's no need for the 3 hour. My doctor was sure I would be one of those women but alas, I am not, and hey, that's okay.

Topanga- I am so sorry about failing the first test. You still have a chance of not having GD. I marginally failed both- but I am so glad I am on the diet because I have been able to keep everything under complete control. I had my growth ultrasound & appointment today. Everything with baby girl is perfect. She is in the 56th percentile for weight which is great (babies that are too small are actually more dangerous than babies that are too big) 56th percentile is right smack dab in the middle tho- which I feel great about. All her other measurements are great. I am 1 centimeter dilated and 60% effaced! Her head is way down in my pelvis too. I know it could mean nothing...but I like that progress is being made!

Like I have said before- my OB isn't treating this like a high risk pregnancy because frankly- it's not. Red is right- NO amount of sugar you could eat would give you gestational diabetes. You have absolutely no control over whether you get GD or not. None. Like I said before, I have no family history, not overweight, don't eat a lot of sugar and was already exercising during pregnancy. It is simply your placenta & hormones messing with your ability to process insulin. 110% not your fault. To be honest, now that I see the light at the end of the tunnel- I am actually thankful for this diet. I haven't gained a ton of weight, I feel great, and I have nutritional information I didn't have before. It will help my family and I to continue to be healthy in the future. I have been able to treat myself, and I know the way I have been feeding my little one has made her healthier than if I was able to eat whatever I wanted. For Thanksgiving- I can eat everything at the table. I just need to make sure I balance protein and carbs. Do I ever drive by Sonic and desperately wish I could have a milkshake? Sure. Of course I do, but I will be able to have one the second she is born! If you do have GD- you will get the hang of it, control it, and your LO will be totally 110% perfect. Both your sugars and your baby's sugars will be checked at birth and if both are normal (most of the time they are normal right after the placenta is delivered) then you both go about your lives like nothing ever happened. It's as easy as that. Even if your LO's sugars are low at birth, they give them formula and check again and 9 times outta 10 they are normal within a few hours of being born. I hope you and Left both pass the 3 hour, but if you don't, everything will be okay. I promise.

Anchor I can't wait to get a more detailed update!! She is so beautiful! I bet being a mommy is as wonderful as we've all dreamed about. I CANT WAIT. It's so friggin soon now!

ilovemyhubby I LOVE cuddling with my cats and watching movies!!! Sounds like an amazing night. I hope you start to feel better soon.

I also can't wait to have some deli meat again, I love goat cheese, salami & crackers. Or prosciutto. YUM. Definitely having some during my cheat week around Christmas! I can't wait.

I hope everyone is doing well and having a wonderful evening. xoxoxo

 

[anchor08]

Phew, we're still here, just exhausted! Evelyn is beautiful and sweet, feeding and sleeping pretty well for a newborn, but the lack of sleep, pain and hormones are catching up with me. It's amazing, it's totally worth it, and it's hard!

I can't remember if I mentioned before, but she has hip displasia as a result of being breech -- her legs were straight out for a long time, so both hips were out of joint and loose. She's in a device called a Pavlik harness, which helps keep her legs curled up so the hips can stay in joint and develop correctly. Hopefully in a few weeks it will all be fixed and we can carry on normally. Otherwise we're both healthy, just the usual ups and downs of the early days I guess.

Rayray, I can't believe you're so close!!! Wow, so exciting. How are you feeling about it all?

 

[Left wonderin]

Awh the poor pet anchor , hope its not uncomfortable on her , but its all for the best for her Sounds like a new born is HARD WORK and as much as you think you know it in your head it HAS to be different when the reality of it hits . Not to mention all those hormones !!!! Thankfully at some point ya end up back on an even keel ( that's what I'm telling myself anyway lol ! )

 

[Starry Night]

Before I had DS I would often wonder why most new mothers would disappear from public life for a few weeks but I learned the hard way that it is a tough adjustment! Just how difficult depends on the individual baby as each has its own personality and how much the mom is willing to martyr herself. ha ha I know a mom who had a baby in the morning and hosted the youth group at her house in the evening and never looked back. I personally think that's crazy as no matter how good you think you feel your body is still healing and your baby is so vulnerable to everything.

I hope Evelyn's hips are fixed soon. I know a couple of babies who had to wear the harness. They all seemed happy and comfortable enough.

rayray - baby's arrival is getting close! Is the nursery ready or is that a touchy subject? LOL

 

[anchor08]

Yeah, the harness only seemed to bother her the first day and since then we've been fine. It stays on 24/7 and we diaper, clothe and wash around it, so I'm sure she doesn't even notice it now. I'm annoyed by it, but it should fix things and we'll be fine.

I think the hardest thing (about that and everything else these days) is how time is condensed. Looking back I can see that, for example, we had a really tough 36 hours or so when we first got home, but when you're in it it feels like forever...especially because 36 hours is roughly 15 feedings! Makes every difficulty seem bigger even though it doesn't actually last too long. I hope I don't sound too down, I am enjoying myself, but we all need the venting space. We've had some really good days too! And honestly, even breastfeeding is so amazing when it works. I'm impatient to heal and feel more settled, but we really are doing well.

 

[Left wonderin]

Rant away )) I love hearing everyone experiences post birth its so comforting as it is not the sugar coated version sold to you but the reality show lol ..............

 

[rayraykay]

Anchor- so proud of you. It sounds like you're getting the hang of it even with the hip displasia. It always seems to be something.. Which is something I've discovered by the different support blogs I frequent. No woman hardly ever has the perfect pregnancy, birth or experience with a newborn. (And the women that do... Lucky lucky ladies.. Haha) It's really just how you cope with it. And it sounds like you're a rockstar anchor. I'm so happy for you. I will probably have a lot of questions for you!

How is everyone else doing?

Now that I'm about 3 weeks away.. I'm feeling really good. Ready. The nursery is finished as of about 30 minutes ago when the rocking chair was delivered. I'm gonna have my mom come over to help DH and I do one more deep cleaning before she comes. (I do the easy stuff that doesn't require a lot of cleaning products but I like to help haha) I had my growth scan this week and everything is looking perfect, she's in the 56th percentile for her weight which is great. Right in the middle. Too small is as big of a problem as too big apparently so I was really happy to hear that. I am 1 cm dilated and 60% effaced which I know can mean nothing but nice to know some progress is being made. Her head is way low. I'm walking and DH is happy because he's getting lucky in hopes we will speed things along. thank you for asking. I appreciate it. I've attached a bump photo in hopes it will lure others into posting theirs! I wanna see everyone else's bumps too! Plllleeeaaseee?

And anchor whenever you wanna share photos of your sweet baby girl pleaseeeeee dooooo!!!!

 

[Starry Night]

Once again, you're looking fresh and adorable. And I love that top. It's right up my alley.

I am planning on posting a bump photo when I reach second trimester (only 1 more week). I'm hoping my bump looks a little more bump-like then and less like fat. There is definitely a bump there but my c-section pooch really blurs the line between bump and flab. But I am actually starting to crave fruits now so I'm hoping that cuts back on some of my weight gain (so far about 6 pounds...yikes)

 

[rayraykay]

I bet you look amazing Starry. I can't wait to see.

Thank you- the top is from Target. I got most of my maternity stuff there.. cheap & of great quality. It's fun to be super pregnant in the fall. I think with my next pregnancy I will wanna do it around the same time. I can't imagine being this pregnant in the summer. Yikes.

 

[skyesmom]

rayray you are so beautiful!! and so so close your bump is perfect! oh oh can't wait for the new birth announcement!!!

and anchor u r doing great in there!! i think u only understand it all when the LO is there... as u can't really imagine what it is to be a mom to a 10 year old now, or to a 30 year old either.. u see it only when ur lo reaches that age

hugs to all of u ladies!