On the road again graduates

[Starry Night]

Grrr! still here! I think this is going to be my son's labour all over again. Contractions were getting stronger around midnight but not enough to keep me awake so I went to bed when they just....stopped. Seriously??? 5 hours of contractions every 5 minutes and they just....poof! But I started getting this horrible downward pressure and now I'm constantly aware of her head. The pressure kept me up most of the night. Feeling a bit crampy but nothing major at the moment. still feeling the pressure. I had called the hospital and they said as long as the pressure is on the vagina and not the rectum I should be fine.

I just hope this pre-labour/early labour stuff doesn't last overly long. Sometimes I wonder if being in early labour for 4 days is what contributed to my son's fetal distress. If he was anything like me, he would have been very tired.

 

[RedWylder]

Baby?

 

[Left wonderin]

Hey red how are things ? How is bf going ? Any photos of LO ?

 

[Starry Night]

No baby yet. Seems my son's labour of start and stop cramps for days on end is repeating itself. Lost a huge chunk of plug today though. Hopefully, the real thing will start in a day or two....if not by the end of today. (doubt it though....cramps still are refusing to build to anything and will stop suddenly)

Hope everyone else is doing well.

 

[Left wonderin]

Hannah wants to be a June baby but sounds like things are moving in the right direction starry !!! I'm grand I am however feeling ridiculously broody !!!!!! Can't be normal with a 14 week old baby !! Seriously ! Lol ...

 

[Starry Night]

I was broody the first 3 months with DS too until I started getting what I thought were pregnancy signs and I got REALLY scared. I realized I wasn't ready for another baby yet. Also, I was assuming I'd have to be on bed rest again and I didn't want to miss my son's first year. Never happier to see a bfn. LOL I think that was the first time I ovulated. My first ovulation after a pregnancy always has intense symptoms.

I think we get broody right after a baby to help us forget about the nasty sides of pregnancy and ensure the future of the human race. That's my theory, at least.

afm - cramps getting REALLY strong and losing more snotty discharge but cramps are still about 10 to 30 minutes apart. If this labour follows the same pattern as my son's then she would be coming in the next 24 hours. But I doubt I will have two labours be so close to one another. But each bout of false/prelabour is getting stronger and more intense than the one before. I'm getting really tired so I'm guessing she is too.

 

[Topanga053]

Starry, can't believe she's still hanging in there!!! Fingers crossed things get underway soon!!!

Left- I hear you! DH and I are both very conflicted about a second. The plan was always one and done and we were both great with that until LO was about a month. Then we started having moments of wanting a sibling for her. We've both gone back and forth a lot and change our minds every day. We finally decided that the pros/cons pretty much equal each other out and we'd probably be happy either way. So, crazy enough, I stopped my birth control last week and am just getting my period/withdrawal bleeding. We are going to NTNP for 6-12 months. Since neither one of us can make up our mind, we agreed to just let go and let God. If it happens, great. If it doesn't, that's great too. We will be perfectly content with just LO (I was an only child and loved it). If we do have another, we both want them close in age, thus the NTNP now. I was insanely happy about it last week (giggling and glowing and everything), then last night I had a dream about labor and now I'm scared! Lol.

If we don't have a second, I'm seriously considering applying to be a surrogate for someone. I LOVED being pregnant (labor, not so much) and I love the idea of being able to give a family such a precious gift, since I know how much wanting it can hurt. DH is totally on board.

We're both really flexible with everything at this point. I'm usually VERRRYY type A and need to know and plan the future, but for some reason right now I am happy to be super laid back about all of this. So for now, we're going to relax and NTNP and not think about it, one way or the other. Then maybe down the road I'll be a surrogate... or maybe not. Lol we're putting no pressure on ourselves to decide anything!

Hope everyone else is doing well!!

 

[Left wonderin]

Sounds like a great plan I think being a suurogate is such a selfless act and a great gift . Not sure I'd be strong enough to do it though . I'm too old anyway so no worries there !! I'm a bit like ye , have not gone back on birth control but am not putting any pressure on about ttc. Ntnp it is, I've also just finished my first AF so not sure how my cycles will go from here . Am charting because I enjoy it lol ..... I continue to feel so so blessed been given the gift of motherhood , if one is gods plan so be it , ill be content but if 2 is his plan ill welcome it

Starry )))) one day closer

 

[Starry Night]

Baby Hannah is here! It was a long, eventual (tramautizing!) labour but she is safe and completely healthy. No NICU, no section, no extended hospital stay. I hate, hate HATE labour and even with pain relief the pushing part was torture. I just could not bear the pressure. They wanted me to feel the pressure but the epidural was not covering the level of pain. It didn't help that my cervix never dropped so after an hour and a half of pushing I had only moved my cervix from the -1 to -2 spot. She wasn't even coming out. So they gave me an hour break which had me nearly screaming in agony just trying to ignore the urge to push but I also had zero energy to push and my "pushes" at the time weren't accomplishing anythign anymore. Also, even after giving me an Adovan to help me relax I was STILL getting panic attacks after every single push.

At around midnight Hannah's heart rate was finally affected by the long wait and began to drop. So I was told they would use forceps and if I didn't get her out within 2 contractions or so they would go ahead with the section. At that pointed I was desperate for the section because I was so tired but thought if they were promising only 2 contractions I could summon every last energy reserve and last ounce of courage.

I was brought into the operating room and I was freaking out. But at least DH could be with me this time. And then they gave me the really good pain relief. It wasn't as strong as the stuff for sections but it took away all the pain and only the good parts of the pressure so I'd know when to push. It really was only 2 or 3 pushes and suddenly she was out. At this point I had been up for 24 hours and in active labour for 19 and was on serious drugs so the moment wasn't as magical as I was hoping. My bottom felt 10 feet away from me and not quite attached. Her body sliding out felt like this weird little gloop but with flailing limbs attached. She immediately gave a little cry and DH was practically euphoric in his praise for how proud of me he was. But I was honestly just happy the pain was over. They didn't let me see her for a long while and two nurses were hovering over her for quite some time. But I couldn't even be worried. I just figured she'd be sent to NICU and I'd see her the morning. But she was OK and they placed her on my chest. I made DH help me hold her because I really did not trust myself. And the goofy man took a photo and he just laughed and laughed because Hannah looked so ridiculous and I just looked...well....pathetic. It really is an awful photo. ha ha

I had the worst roommates ever and I'm so glad I'm home now. I was in a room with 2 other ladies though one lady left the morning after I got there. She bugged me the most. Every time her baby made the slightest whimper or cry she'd go "SH! sH! SH! SH!" like a MILLIONS times until she'd finally yell "What is wrong with you?!!" The nurses kept coming in and telling her she was smothering her baby and that babies could die underneath so many layers and blankets but this lady and her mom kept insisting they were right. I was hardly shocked when the social worker showed up several hours later. They weren't taking the baby away but it was clear the situation was not ideal. Then the other lady's baby literally cried ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT. I'm not even exaggerating. The nurse eventually had to come in and take the baby out and give her a bottle (the woman was one of those "I have to only breast feed no matter what" types ) because the baby was so hungry and agitated her heart rate was crazy, crazy high. Needless to say, between those nut jobs and Hannah herself (who was a saint compared to the other babies) I got hardly any sleep.

But my overall feeling of the experience has been relief and wonderment that my TTC#2 journey is FINALLY over. She's here, she's beautiful and she's healthy. It's still too early to say if she will be an easy baby like DS or not but I think she's absolutely perfect. My parents come in 3 days and my mom will now be staying 3 weeks instead of 2 to help. And our neighbour is bringing us dinner tonight. Just as well. I have the worst case of swollen feet and legs right now. It's so much worse than while pregnant. And my blood pressure is really low. They only let me go home because they could see I was walking around just fine without any signs of dizziness, my bleeding is fine and I was eating and talking and, other than really tired, not showing any negative signs.

 

[Left wonderin]

Wow starry what a story ! Sounds like a lot of hard work on your behalf !! But the most import at thing is SHE IS HERE yahooooooooooooooo Hannah has arrived I'm thrilled to bits for you your hope bringer and pain healer is here ( that's how I see rainbow babies I'd say your delighted to be home your room mates did not sound great ! How is your little boy now she is here ??

 

[Starry Night]

My son really liked her when he first met her but now she's old news. ha ha Having him visit in the hospital really was terrible because he would not stop running away, up and down the hall. He did want to give her kisses and hold her and help me push her bassinet/cart up and down the hall but mostly he just wanted to run. we can't afford a double stroller right now so we're going to have to get one of those harness/leash things because even when I'm with DH we have a hard time keeping him by our side. I couldn't imagine going about just me. And now I know why my mom always took my grandma along during our errand outings when my siblings and I were kids!

 

[RedWylder]

Sorry I'm quiet. I'm exhausted. Piper has had a rough couple of days and the in laws are here so we are quite distracted in this house. Piper is doing great and gaining tons of weight. I think she may have doubled her birth weight already! I'll post picks once the in laws are gone and I have some time to myself.

Starry!!! Yay she's here! I can't believe that! It's just wonderful knowing that you made it through your labor vaginally. It's no joke for sure.

As for our other readers hoping for their rainbows...you're next! I can't wait to meet them.

 

[skyesmom]

Starry!!!!!! i didn't log in yesterday afternoon (i'm in europe) and look and behold - you got a baby!!! welcome Hannah!!!

and congrats on being so tough and making it through a vaginal labor!! so so glad you got the VBAC you wanted even though it was tough!! you're a trooper! and good to have your folks coming over and your mom to help out with the two until your body recovers a bit!

ahhhh the summer rainbow of this thread arrived!!!

now don't forget to post in here now and then and update the rainbow pics! and i promise when i catch the eggo i'll update here the first! (and then maybe on the bfp announcements, but you ladies will be first to know!!)

 

[skyesmom]

...and Topanga!!! NTNP the nr. 2??? CONGRATS! I so love these stories when people spontaneously change their minds and relax about things and just go with the flow!
who knows, maybe your 2nd rainbow comes with my 1st together that would be so so cool!

i also find surrogacy to be a selfless act, but i honestly don't think i'd be able to separate from the baby afterwards, and i really admire the women who can go through with it!

and Starry, will u post a pic of Hannah when you catch some breath?

 

[Topanga053]

Starry- CONGRATS!!!!!! I am so, so happy that Hannah is here safe and sound!! It sounds like it was an awful labor for you (eww!!), but I'm so glad it ended ok! I'm sorry your roommates were so awful (my hospital had private rooms and I'm even more grateful for that now!!! I couldn't IMAGINE sharing a room after birth!!), so thank goodness you're back home! I hope you're settling in and healing alright. I know how long after birth it can take for things to feel normal again.

Red- so glad Piper is doing so well!!!!

Skye- that would be amazing!!! We'll have to see. We agreed to NTNP, but DH has been reluctant to er... finish, now that I'm off birth control. So we'll see how this all goes. I don't know why, but it kind of bothered me.

Hope everyone else is doing well!!

 

[Topanga053]

And I agree Starry... pictures are a most once you feel up to it!!

 

[skyesmom]

Topanga, give him time to get use to it he may just be scared that Lauren is so small and needing so much care and you being pregnant at the same time might be exhausting for both of you. and maybe he fears another loss as well, somewhere deep inside of him, and fearing it may bring you down like it did the last time. he'll come around i'm sure!

 

[Topanga053]

Thanks Skye! You always know what to say! I'm sure you're right. How's everything going on your end??

I love all of you girls so much. It's such a shame we don't live closer together. It would be so much fun to have weekly coffee dates!

 

[skyesmom]

ah weekly coffees with this group here would be such a treat! all good at this end, OH is really really spoiling me lately!

no big news over this last cycle but no wonder, we've been working like crazy! but.. i went to my GP to book a yearly GYN appointment and he was really amazing and ordered some extra blood work on top of the standard ob/gyn stuff just to make sure everything is ok one more time (since everything came back clear after our second loss, they even told me they've ran a test on the baby and that it all came back fine).
and he literally ordered me "no stress for the first 4 months of pregnancy and keep yourself really really warm as well"

it's so nice when a medical professional shows an extra step of care for you. i haven't asked for those tests, just asked him to book me in for a yearly check up as we are NTNPing after two losses and he said immediately: OK, then let's get this and this checked out, since you've also been depressed and so on. (he remembered my post-mc history). makes me feel very safe and taken care of!

 

[Starry Night]

skye - that's so lovely that your doctor is taking such good care of you.

I will try to post a photo soon. It always seems that by the time I get online it's almost time for the next feeding. Sometimes Hannah is grubby and grouses for food and other times I need to wake her up. Today is a lazy morning but she is starting to fidget.

Right now I'm combi-feeding and you can sort of imagine how that news went over when the public health nurse called today. I should be seeing her in the next day or two so I'm hoping I can better explain my views and reasons in person.