On the road again graduates

[RedWylder]

W@aaaaaaaaaaaaa@azaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Cary!!!!!!d omg I just cried for reals for you. I'm am so stinking happy for you. Nausea is such a good sign.

Topango- happy for you as well of course.

Yay two more rainbows on the way!

 

[Carybear]

Thanks Red... You just made me cry... but well I seem to do a lot of that lately!!!

That and I have NO PATIENCE with my students... I'm sure they are all wondering what the heck is going on... Poor fifth graders... They went from a nice teacher to monster teacher...

 

[Left wonderin]

Cary there were tears here too but Happy ones
That is such a lovely story this IS your rainbow !!!! you describe ms so well lol....

As for the pulling / stretching feelings all normal everything is growing in there

I am sincerely over joyed for you and oh for course l !!! Its your turn !!!
I CANT wait to follow your journey

 

[RedWylder]

Yep, this board has been quiet too long. I want all the details.

 

[skyesmom]

Likewise!! from both of you Topanga & Cary! (and i'll join you by the end of the year, this i know!!)

 

[Left wonderin]

Sky

 

[Carybear]

Fxd for you Skye. Can't wait to hear your news. Try temping (but be careful it can be addicting). I will be praying for you!!!

My boobs hurt so bad. The nausea is like just an all day yuckiness. The exhaustion gets really bad at around 1:30 or 2.

Most of the time I am burning up.

May the symptoms continue and we see a strong heartbeat on May 18th

 

[skyesmom]

yay for the symptoms! i mean, it is hard with that all day yuckiness but at least it is mentally reassuring! i'm keeping everything i have crossed for that scan on the 18th!

i'll see about the temping i don't know why but i just have a feeling we will conceive by the end of the year and that it will happen in the winter/late autumn months. maybe i just lost my mind but this is how it feels and i kind of feel weirdly calm because of that.

 

[Topanga053]

Oh Skye, I hope so!!!! Fingers crossed!!!!

Cary, LOVED the story of how you told DH and your mom. SOOO stinking cute!! I can't get over how happy I am for you!!!!!!

Afm, I had a tiny bit of nausea a couple of days ago, but it's been a couple of days since I felt any. Mostly I have just been EXHAUSTED. Just that "I've been hit by a train and I can't move" exhausted where even blinking is exhausting lol. I was on the road for work all day yesterday and in the afternoon I was suddenly SO TIRED that I felt it was dangerous to be on the road. So I pulled over to the nearest rest stop. I figured I would lean back and close my eyes for a minute or two and then be ready to drive again. So I put my seat back and closed my eyes.... and woke up half an hour later!!!

 

[skyesmom]

no way!! that's some serious on the road napping! haha ahh these moments are just priceless!

 

[Carybear]

Lol... Wow Topanga! I know that exhaustion well... I get in the car after work and just lay my head back for awhile....

I just want to get to May 18th....

How are you Skye? I believe that this is your year too....

How are ya Left? Red?

Has anyone heard from Starry???

 

[Left wonderin]

Oooh Cary I forgot to tell you Starry said to say a HUGE congratulations to you and send you a cyber hug !!! She isn't on bnb at the moment but we keep in touch on Facebook . She asked me to keep her updated hope that's ok ?

May 18th will be here before you know it !!! The waiting is hard though !
I've an appointment with my endo on Monday so will know better where things are at for me after that but right now I'm MORE INTERESTED in you !!!! Lol.....
And of course Topanga but CARY I'm extra excited and happy for

 

[Carybear]

Of course you can left... Tell her that I said hi and send hugs back.
I will be praying for a good appointment with the endo. Let us know what they say. Are you planning on trying for a brother or sister for your LO?

Skye, I have everything crossed that this is your year.

Topanga when is your first appointment?

The nausea has lessened. It comes and goes but it is not that bad. The exhaustion however seems to get a little worse everyday.

Impatiently waiting for the 18th.

 

[Left wonderin]

Cary I was trying from August till December but then had to stop due to the meds I'm on and thyroid levels . So waiting for it to level off so I can get trying again ! I'm hoping for good news on Monday and hoping doc will give me the green light .

 

[Carybear]

Fx'd for you Left...

 

[Topanga053]

Left, I can't WAIT to hear about your appointment!!! Is the doctor definitely going to tell you one way or the other whether you can resume TTC again now?? I hope so!!! You seem like you've been pretty patient with WTT though, I'm impressed!

Cary, yeah, the exhaustion is still kicking my butt too. No more naps during work hours haha, but I'm really dragging this morning. It's hard to do much of anything, I just want to be sleeping! Are you having any other symptoms yet?

As for my appointments, I have some scheduled and this is kind of silly, but I don't feel like sharing the dates yet. I know it's silly because I'll tell you ladies everything no matter what happens, but for some reason, I'm always scared talking about the appointments in advance. We didn't even tell any of our closest friends when I went into labor with LO for that very reason. It's irrational, but I can't shake it! For now, I'm nervous that I'm not having even more symptoms. I was telling DH the other day that I hate that my very first pregnancy ended in a loss. I think it takes away all of your confidence in the process. I was terrified with LO for most of the pregnancy. I enjoyed the second half a bit more, but for pretty much all of the first half, I didn't want to talk about it at all. I'm envious of my friends who've never had losses and who just assume that a BFP = healthy pregnancy & baby. It's a little bit easier this time around, but not much. Anyway, not much I can do about it, since that's just still where I am mentally, so I've just accepted it, but it would have been nice to have had one pregnancy BEFORE a loss, so I could have had just one pregnancy where I had complete faith that things would work out. I told DH that I'm nervous and trying to distance myself. He said that's really sad. C'est la vie.

 

[skyesmom]

Topanga love! it is so so normal to have those feelings, even after one successful pregnancy. the fact that Lauren is here is a blessing and a miracle but it can't erase the past. and i hear you on wishing that your first pregnancy was successful, i think people who have that gift just breeze through it with certain innocence and non-awareness that we're robbed off for good.

and regarding OH calling your distancing from your pregnancy sad... i don't know if it's the men/women difference, but i have a feeling that sometimes it kind of slips their mind, the whole thing, mainly because it is not THEIR body involved in the process. we see it and live it as a failure of our own body, and they're spared of that unless in those rare cases where it is 100% clear that the issue is genetic and coming from fathers' side (a rare thing but it can happen). so our panic, fear and issues are harder to cope with than theirs.. even without the hormones.

i understand the wish to distance yourself from it and guard yourself from everything... it is an automatic thing we do against any life threat we've ever faced - run away or be on guard - and the loss has gotten you down to the point of not wanting to live anymore so you react to it from there.

but i don't think any distancing can really help you or save you from the hell in case the worst decides to repeat (and i am crossing EVERYTHING i have in my heart and soul that this LO comes healthy and that you get a text book pregnancy!!!)...

...the thing is, it's not easy to get rid of that weight at all. my SIL, who's now pregnant with her 2nd after a complicated 1st pregnancy due to a large uterine growth that menaced a rupture+internal bleeding in late pregnancy, she told me that SHE wouldn't be able to take a full breath and relax once I get pregnant until our LO arrives, as she knows how much it affected me and my OH, and that she can't even begin to imagine how it will be for me.

i am sending you a massive hug!

and Cary, i am so so excited for your appointment on the 18th!! and impatient!

Left - also super curious to hear what your doc will say and will they give you a green light to TTC! and please say hi to Starry from me too!

girls!!! i'm sending all my love your way!

 

[Left wonderin]

Topanga I can totally understand where your coming from . I'm kinda like that . I've got a pair of pj bottoms ... Well my favorite one , when I wa s first pg with Sean I spotted once afte rib around 6 weeks while wearing them . Thought its all over again . Thankfully we know that's not the case but I've NEVER been able to put them back on me again or throw them out .. I know its stupid but I think if I put them on something bad might happen . I associated them with the bleeding ! I know weird !! Lol... But in my wardrobe they will stay lol.

Ill keep you all posted on the appointment and how it goes . It depends on my levels I guess and if they are where they should be

 

[skyesmom]

Left i hear you... i have a similar thing with the pair of panties i had on when i lost Skyler. the blood stain from when i lost him stayed there for ages and eventually washed away so no trace can be seen, but to me they are "his" panties and I wear them very very rarely, and always for the EDD and loss anniversaries. i know it may sound bonkers and obsessed, but i see it like our little ritual sort of.

 

[Carybear]

Hi ladies! Well.... Exhaustion and queasiness are still there...

Friday night I spotted pink at 6 weeks... Just a touch. It turned to brown on Saturday and had just a touch on Sunday... Nothing today... I never bled but I did have mild cramping on and off... So I called the dr and I go in tomorrow!!! Nervous but excited.

I've had lots of wiggles and pinching pulling pain...

I will update tomorrow....