CurlySue
P.I's Mummy
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Based on my tests and OH's sperm analysis, that is how often we would produce an embryo that would be good enough to turn into a viable pregnancy.
Once. In every four years.
Well, that certainly explains a lot, doesn't it?
Seriously, I just don't know how to feel. The appointment was very constructive. It was with the "main man" and he took on my every concern and he acknowledged that we were treated horribly at times. He looked genuinely shocked at what his own staff said and did; at how they thought "good treatment" was. At some point in the appointment, J said "We know that we have issues but we've never really been given a definitive answer on WHY we can't get pregnant."
The doctor took a look at my blood test results. "If I was given this set of numbers," he said, "and I was asked to estimate how old you were, I would say 37 or 38."
So, I have the FSH of a woman up to nine years older than I am.
He looked at OH's sperm analysis (which, bear in mind, we were told was "great") and he said "Do you follow football?" Yes, we both said. "Well, you are Fulham. Low middle table. You're not likely to be relegated, but you'll never get into Europe and I'll be blunt and say that I'd never pick you for my Sperm Team."
So, my FSH, which I was told was fine, is that of a woman 8 or 9 years older than me. OH's sperm, which he was told was great, is the very low end of average, pushing for poor.
"Your body knows how to get pregnant," he said, "but, you most likely only ovulate once every three months. And perhaps his sperm is decent once every three or four ejaculations."
That's how he came up with the calculation.
"Some couples produce an embryo that is viable every month. For others it might take them eight or nine months. For you two? I'd estimate once every four years."
You know what was said about my embryos?
"I'll be honest, 80% of them were crap."
I wanted honesty. I got it. Didn't make it hurt any less. Add that to the genetically abnormal ones that were implanted and it gives cause to concern.
Such cause for concern that he is arranging for me to speak to the chief embryologist. Such concern that he is also making me a further appointment with himself just before Christmas because he seems desperate to make up for the poor treatment we have received.
"She's grumpy," he said, of the woman who told me I had a lot to cry about and went into great detail about how awful a natural miscarriage would be. "And, I'll be speaking to her about how she treats people."
The same about the other woman who I had issues with. He laughed out loud. "I take it you didn't like her?" he asked. "You're not the first."
About the embryologists who did not bother to call me about my embryos he was genuinely disgusted and asked me to speak to the embryologist about it when I see him so that he is made aware of such errors.
"If you still don't have any confidence," he said, "I will help you get transferred wherever you need to go. Don't worry."
I am glad I went. I am glad I had this candid talk with the director of the department.
Makes me feel so utterly, utterly terrified that everything I suspected was right. That my embryos WERE crap. That my eggs ARE far older than they should be.
That OH is perhaps not perfect, either...
At least I know though, eh?
Once. In every four years.
Well, that certainly explains a lot, doesn't it?
Seriously, I just don't know how to feel. The appointment was very constructive. It was with the "main man" and he took on my every concern and he acknowledged that we were treated horribly at times. He looked genuinely shocked at what his own staff said and did; at how they thought "good treatment" was. At some point in the appointment, J said "We know that we have issues but we've never really been given a definitive answer on WHY we can't get pregnant."
The doctor took a look at my blood test results. "If I was given this set of numbers," he said, "and I was asked to estimate how old you were, I would say 37 or 38."
So, I have the FSH of a woman up to nine years older than I am.
He looked at OH's sperm analysis (which, bear in mind, we were told was "great") and he said "Do you follow football?" Yes, we both said. "Well, you are Fulham. Low middle table. You're not likely to be relegated, but you'll never get into Europe and I'll be blunt and say that I'd never pick you for my Sperm Team."
So, my FSH, which I was told was fine, is that of a woman 8 or 9 years older than me. OH's sperm, which he was told was great, is the very low end of average, pushing for poor.
"Your body knows how to get pregnant," he said, "but, you most likely only ovulate once every three months. And perhaps his sperm is decent once every three or four ejaculations."
That's how he came up with the calculation.
"Some couples produce an embryo that is viable every month. For others it might take them eight or nine months. For you two? I'd estimate once every four years."
You know what was said about my embryos?
"I'll be honest, 80% of them were crap."
I wanted honesty. I got it. Didn't make it hurt any less. Add that to the genetically abnormal ones that were implanted and it gives cause to concern.
Such cause for concern that he is arranging for me to speak to the chief embryologist. Such concern that he is also making me a further appointment with himself just before Christmas because he seems desperate to make up for the poor treatment we have received.
"She's grumpy," he said, of the woman who told me I had a lot to cry about and went into great detail about how awful a natural miscarriage would be. "And, I'll be speaking to her about how she treats people."
The same about the other woman who I had issues with. He laughed out loud. "I take it you didn't like her?" he asked. "You're not the first."
About the embryologists who did not bother to call me about my embryos he was genuinely disgusted and asked me to speak to the embryologist about it when I see him so that he is made aware of such errors.
"If you still don't have any confidence," he said, "I will help you get transferred wherever you need to go. Don't worry."
I am glad I went. I am glad I had this candid talk with the director of the department.
Makes me feel so utterly, utterly terrified that everything I suspected was right. That my embryos WERE crap. That my eggs ARE far older than they should be.
That OH is perhaps not perfect, either...
At least I know though, eh?
