mizuno
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Oct 5, 2011
- Messages
- 320
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Ok so Im having a serious existential crisis! I hope you wise ladies will be able to help me at least calm my mind a little bit.
I have an amazingly smart and cute 3 year old daughter , who took us 3 years of IVF to conceive (some ladies here on baby and bump really helped me through it). The pregnancy was also stressful because I was constantly worried I would lose her. Once she was born I found it very tough. The delivery was traumatic, my recovery was long, breastfeeding was tough, lack of sleep, loss of my old independence, it was all too much and I developed post partum anxiety and some depression that was only diagnosed last year . I am currently on antidepressants and finally feeling like I can handle my life and my work and am finally enjoying the time with my daughter . I know Im whining, and trust me, I feel very guilty about the way I feel, considering what I went through to conceive her and that she is awesome and I love her more than anything in the world, and I know motherhood is tough on everyone, but it was REALLY HARD on me. I guess I handled it very poorly.
So, my DH and I decided that well stop at one. He seems content enough with the decision, though at some point he did want another (he basically says he doesnt want it if it will be too much for me). My reasons for not wanting another kid are im dreading the possibility of having to go through IVF again, Im worried about getting off my meds to have a kid, Im scared of PPD just as Im heading out of it, Im scared that I wont be able to handle taking care of another kid as I didnt enjoy the early baby years. Also Im just not a very momsey person. I realize this makes me sound very selfish...but Im just getting my life back and it stresses me out to think Id be taking a step back again.
The thing is, I feel REALLY guilty about not giving my daughter a sibling . Im worried shell be lonely. Every single only child I know says they wish they had siblings. I know shell meet friends in school, but I worry that on the weekends and vacations shell be lonely and bored. She is super outgoing and gets bored easily so we spend a lot of time playing with her. A few of my friends are currently pregnant with their seconds, and Im starting to feel the old anxiety creeping in. This is seriously affecting me as Ill be 40 this year so need to make a decision soon and move on with my life, my career etc. I know this has been asked a million times before, but how did you know you were one and done by choice? Do you regret your decision? I know no one can make this decision for me, but Id just like to hear about your experiences.
Thank you, from a very anxious mama!!!!
I have an amazingly smart and cute 3 year old daughter , who took us 3 years of IVF to conceive (some ladies here on baby and bump really helped me through it). The pregnancy was also stressful because I was constantly worried I would lose her. Once she was born I found it very tough. The delivery was traumatic, my recovery was long, breastfeeding was tough, lack of sleep, loss of my old independence, it was all too much and I developed post partum anxiety and some depression that was only diagnosed last year . I am currently on antidepressants and finally feeling like I can handle my life and my work and am finally enjoying the time with my daughter . I know Im whining, and trust me, I feel very guilty about the way I feel, considering what I went through to conceive her and that she is awesome and I love her more than anything in the world, and I know motherhood is tough on everyone, but it was REALLY HARD on me. I guess I handled it very poorly.
So, my DH and I decided that well stop at one. He seems content enough with the decision, though at some point he did want another (he basically says he doesnt want it if it will be too much for me). My reasons for not wanting another kid are im dreading the possibility of having to go through IVF again, Im worried about getting off my meds to have a kid, Im scared of PPD just as Im heading out of it, Im scared that I wont be able to handle taking care of another kid as I didnt enjoy the early baby years. Also Im just not a very momsey person. I realize this makes me sound very selfish...but Im just getting my life back and it stresses me out to think Id be taking a step back again.
The thing is, I feel REALLY guilty about not giving my daughter a sibling . Im worried shell be lonely. Every single only child I know says they wish they had siblings. I know shell meet friends in school, but I worry that on the weekends and vacations shell be lonely and bored. She is super outgoing and gets bored easily so we spend a lot of time playing with her. A few of my friends are currently pregnant with their seconds, and Im starting to feel the old anxiety creeping in. This is seriously affecting me as Ill be 40 this year so need to make a decision soon and move on with my life, my career etc. I know this has been asked a million times before, but how did you know you were one and done by choice? Do you regret your decision? I know no one can make this decision for me, but Id just like to hear about your experiences.
Thank you, from a very anxious mama!!!!