One Step Back

[cottonlily]

We've been TTC for over 8 years because we both have reproductive problems. RE recommends IVF of course but DH is dead set against it. We've done 4 IUIs with a combination of meds and injectables. We decided to move on to donor IUI but later found a sperm bank that allows home delivery. So now we're planning on doing a donor insem in February if nothing goes awry.

I feel really excited that we might actually get pregnant, still a baffling thought to me! And I love that we can do it at home rather than wait on the clinical process to work out. But on the other hand, I wonder if we're taking a step backwards because we're just doing a vaginal insem rather than an IUI. The increase of guaranteed sperm from DHs to the donor's is an incredible number but I still worry it might be the wrong direction.

 

[yellowbell]

hi hun.
Why is your DH against IVF?

 

[JaniceT]

Don't mind me asking but what fertility problems are you and OH having? Why is he against IVF? IUI is about 5% or less in success rate each try and if you both have fertility problems, the success rate isn't as good. IVF/ICSI would definitely be a better option.

 

[cottonlily]

He has very low sperm count and abnormal motility and morphology. I have endometriosis as well as PCOS. So we don't even know if I could maintain a pregnancy. He has just never liked the idea of IVF. The RE said only IVF with ICSI would work for us our infertility problems are so compounded. It's not a religious thing for DH, just a personal opinion. It is expensive, but we have insurance that covers IVF and we've had the money for the co-pay. It mostly boils down to risks. Risks of losing the cost and it not working (we only get 1 IVF our whole lifetime with my insurance), risks of multiples, risks of miscarriage. And then the decision of what to do with possible leftover embryos.

 

[keyahopes]

Hi there, maybe its a good idea for hubby to sit down and read up about IVF/ICSI, so he has a better understanding about the entire procedure. Sometimes, the media puts IVF in a different light. Again, I am not sure why hubby feels like IVF is not a good option, but he is rightfully entitled to his opinion.

Secondly, if you have PCOS, are you able to pinpoint ovulation? Because if you are considering at home insemination, that would be crucial.

Lastly, IVF gives you a better control of multiples than would IUI with medications. With IVF, you can control how many embryos are transferred back. Of course, IVF is a demanding and stressful procedure!

These are just my thoughts. I hope I have not overstepped any boundaries. Good luck.

 

[cottonlily]

keya - absolutely not I don't know exactly what makes him feel this way but he's never wavered. He's never even considered IVF as a last resort. Maybe because it's so clinical and pretty much the exact opposite of TTC naturally.

My PCOS isn't so severe that I never ovulate but it is a bit harder to know when I do. I use tens of OPK strips every cycle. But even without the meds now I'm pretty much 31-33 days every month and after the surgery the endo flares aren't as bad.