One week follow up today....anxious :(

[4.26.08]

Today I will be seeing my Dr for my one week follow up after losing our baby. I went into preterm labor at 14 weeks last Monday I have been on an emotional roller coaster this past week and wondering why me, what happened, what did I do? I have written my questions down but I am pretty sure he will give me a gerneric anwser as to why we lost our LO. I know that knowing what happened will not change the outcome, but it would give me a little closure. I guess? I don't know. Just anxious about going to the office and seeing all the cute bellies and thinking that I should be There for my 16 week ck up in 2 days

Has anyone else felt like this? I feel guilty and bitter. I am usually such a happy person and feeling this bitterness makes me feel so bad. Also, do any of you ladies know why someone would go into preterm labor. My baby had a heartbeat up until they took her. She measured exactly 14 weeks too. I just don't get it ?!

 

[jojo23]

hi hun firstly im so so sorry for your loss! secondly there was absolutely nothing you have done that would have caused this!!! i know how hard it is when you have no answers you automatically start blaming yourself but its so understandable.... and it will pass with time.

i know some of the causes of preterm labour can be due to your cervix but im sure they will have checked that and i know some infections can cause it too such as Bacterial Vaginosis. but im sure he will be better able to tell you. i also know that sometimes there is no reason at all as to why we lose our angels, unfortunately its just one of those things i never got an answer for.

all i can say hun is that whatever the answers or outcome of your appointment we're all here for you and will support you through anything you need. i hope you do get some answers and can get a little closure as you said!

im thinking of you and your angel xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Bride2b]

I'm sorry for your loss to as I know how unbelievably painful it is for you. It's good that you are getting answers so soon hopefully. However also prepare yourself that you may not get one,this is hard to come to terms with. Many of us ladies who have had 2nd tri losses never got a reason why it happened. As Jo says sometimes its a weak cervix other times infections like group b strep. Not getting an answer may be a good thing though as usually it means that there is nothing wrong with you so such a tragedy should happen again.

Good luck & if you need to talk through your results you know where we are,everyone here is very supportive xxx

 

[blav]

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful baby, we all know how devastating it is that you have had to join us here.

As far as how you're feeling, that is 100% normal. Even know, over 3 months later, I still feel that way sometimes. You are going through the grief process. Over the next few months you will experience many things you feel guilty for feeling, but DON'T! This is a great support system of women who will be with you every step of the way. If you feel a certain way and mention it here, almost everyone will tell you they've also felt that way. Don't suppress your feelings and don't be hard on yourself, it's normal.

I hope your appointment goes okay today and that you are gentle on yourself during this extremely difficult time.

 

[Nikki_d72]

I'm so sorry hun. Like the others have said there was nothing you did/didn't do to cause this to happen to you. I hope your doctor can give you some answers. here is a link that can give some info on preterm labour and you may want to ask if they will do any of the measures listed next time, if you ever choose for there to be a next time. https://www.keepemcookin.com/causes.aspx
I hope that provides you with some questions to ask, GL xx

 

[4.26.08]

I want to thank all of you ladies for your kind words. I hate that we are in the same boat but i am truly thankful for your empathy.

As far as the appointment..........pretty much what I expected. He said he doesn't know why I went into preterm labor. My cervix never opened so he had to perform the D&C to "complete" our m/c. He said an "incompetent" cervix was not the cause. He feels something was wrong with baby. And although technically he should not treat me as high risk (bc 1st pregnancies have a high % of m/c) next time, he will. Honestly, he is a very sweet, compassionate Dr. I know I am making him out to be a jerk......just wish I could get a real answer :/ I go for a follow up u/s in 5 weeks to make sure everthing goes back to normal.

I am not as bitter today. Still very sad but I find myself feeling a little better each day. Still can't sleep or eat like I want

Again, thanks to all of you for your support and I am so very sorry for your losses. I know our little angels are smiling down on us