opinions badly needed!!

[Katielaura]

Really dont know what to do
heres the background of it all . im 19 got 2 kids my first nathan is not my partners son and does not have my last name he has his fathers.(altho i dont think i justify calling him that lol) i havent been to register my second child yet which is my partners child only because i dont know what surname to use.

i would like to change nathans surname to mine , but then it would only give his biological father more of an exscuse to not see him. he claims he wants to see him yet only bothers to contact me about it every so often and to be honest i dont think these bi monthly visits are benefiting nathan in anyway.

so i could change his name to jackson which is my surname or change it to jackson-bayle or bayle-jackson to save my ex giving the exscuse that i dont want him to see his son which is far from the truth . and then give my second child either jackson or jackson- newman or newman-jackson so they all tie in so that nathan isnt the odd 1 out if u get what i mean dont know which sounds better 1st childs first names are nathan john and 2nd childs is talia grace .

i should also mention i just got engaged to my second childs father so i dunno if she should have my name and then when we do get married in the distant future she could take his , but then it still leaves me with the problem of my first child being left out

sorry for rambling and confusing you but id b greatful of your opinions she is 7 weeks now so already over the date she should be registed at but i just dont know what last name to give her xxxxx

 

[princessellie]

i would definitely give ur second LO ur surname, then work on getting first LO's name changed to urs, u dont want to be in this situation again if things dont work out with ur OH, not saying they wont lol but better to be safe...if he moans just say u went through labour, when ur married u will change it but u want her to have the same name as u..end of! thats what i said to my OH, hes not too pleased but not much he can do tbh

x

 

[sezzlebum]

ooh i have a similar thing going on.. my 2 little girls are to my ex, now when i had my first, he wanted her to have his last name, so she had it, then my second came along, well my ex was a prat about her from the day i told him i was pregnant (can you get rid were the first words he said- um no i knew youd say that so ive left it 6 months to tell you lmfao) but he didnt want her to have his last name so she has my name, so now my partner wants this baby to have his name so that would be 3 kids all with different last names

i dunno what to do to be honest but i spose i'll figure it out

 

[Katielaura]

does ur ex have parental responsibility for the eldest ?if not what i would do is change her name to ur surname. then perhaps double barrel ur current partners child's name ?? so they would all have your name? or explain the situation and ask if he wouldnt mind having it as your name, and then perhaps u could change them all to his surname if u got married ??

 

[lozzy21]

Iv had a different surname to my mam for as long as i can remember and its never botherd me. I have my dads name, my mam and 2 of my bros and my sis have my mams ex husbands name and my youngest brother has my mams maiden name because her current partner hates his surname. so when we all lived at home their was 4 different name there. complicated?

 

[Katielaura]

yes maybe a little lol

 

[sezzlebum]

does ur ex have parental responsibility for the eldest ?if not what i would do is change her name to ur surname. then perhaps double barrel ur current partners child's name ?? so they would all have your name? or explain the situation and ask if he wouldnt mind having it as your name, and then perhaps u could change them all to his surname if u got married ??

nope because she was born just before that bit of legislation came in thank god, i just gotta sit down with my partner and discuss it i think, we'll figure it out,

any ideas what your gonna do?

 

[honey08]

wot bout changin ur eledest surname to urs and ex's and babys to urs and OH ?! then theyve both got ur name x

 

[MummyMummy]

why would changing his surname make any difference?

he is his dad reguardless of who else you have children with or how many kids you have with however many different dads or however much of an arse he is.

my son has my exs surname and new baby will have my partners and i have my own surname, it doesn't mean anything - i've mentioned a few times it would be nice to all have same name and not for my son to feel left out and feel more family like and not to confuse people who don't know us haha but when it comes down to it, so long as the stepdad so to speak treats the stepchild so to speak the same and loves them and they get on then names mean bugger all, a well loved and supported child isn't gonna feel any different that they have a different name. THAt is a family, not just because you all have same name. no matterhow much our exs forget they have a child at the ennd of the day our baby still desrves to know their dad and changing names because they aint fit to burn no matter how appealing it seems to get rid of them and focus on the new family isn't the answer, no matter what we think of them.
xXx