Optimal age differences between kids?

[EarthMama]

Kids close together in age, or spaced farther apart?

If you have multiple children, can you share the age difference and how it's working out for you and your kids with the co-sleeping/cloth diapering (if you do those things)? And if they get along well and the impact on your stress levels?

Hubby wants to do some long-term family planning and I was just seeking feedback.

 

[Dragonfly]

Alex is 1 and William is nearly 3 there is 22 months between them. Cloth nappy, bed sharing,breastfed etc. Hand full now when they are both running about, one goes one way and the other the other. I need extra arms and more eyes lol If I want another I wait a few years I have enough here to deal with

 

[Aunty E]

We only co slept until Imogen was five months old as after that point we were keeping her awake, but having two in cloth is no more difficult than one frankly. Especially as now they're in mostly the same size nappies, with Imogen being teeny and teddy being massive. We wanted a close age gap and so far it's worked out well.t

 

[Rachel_C]

There are 23 months between my girls. My first still sleeps in our room by necessity but doesn't co-sleep. I think she would have moved into her own room at around 20 months if we had the space. She isn't in nappies any more but she was for the first couple of months of LO 2's life and it was fine, I didn't really notice any difference. Well, I did, but as she was 23 months then she wasn't using many nappies so it just seemed like I had a newborn in nappies rather than 2 babies. She stopped wanting nappies at around 25 months so it's worked well because I can keep the fluff obsession going

The girls get on well, baby loves my first to bits - her grin lights up the room when she sees her sister. My oldest is very protective of the baby too. She has had the odd moment of wanting to poke her sister in the eyes (and has done!) but it's rare. I think it does help that she is very verbal so can tell me if she wants something. Maybe if you suddenly went from having only one child who got all of your attention to two kids having to share and the oldest wasn't able to talk it might be a bit harder. But then I would much rather have to children close in age because they enjoy similar things and play together.

 

[Sew_Sweet]

I think it's really all personal preference. You'll probably have a better idea once you get going with your first on whether you'd like another right away or if you should wait.

We have a daughter who will be 8 by the time this baby is born. So quite the age gap! Financially, we just couldn't have done it any closer together because of the extreme cost of daycare here. And really for awhile we considered only having the one child. But as fate had it - here we are! DD co-slept with us for quite awhile - and having a queen bed - it would have been pretty crowded in there with more than one! Now days she only hops in when she isn't feeling good or if we girls are having a "slumber party". I'm kind of glad for that because I don't feel I'd be comfortable with her in there at the same time as baby. Our DD flails and kicks around in her sleep and it wouldn't be safe.

But co-sleeping aside - I am kind of glad for the gap because we got to focus solely on our daughter for so long. Now she is at that age where she is coming into her own and going out and doing things with her little friends and going to sleepovers more often. So as she is growing up, I'll now have another little one to nurture - which is kind of nice. When DD is storming around during her teens, LO will still love me LOL!

But negativity aside - DD is old enough to realize exactly what is going on so it is like we are sharing the experience with her. She is as excited as we are! She'll be a great big sister and I know she'll like playing Mother Hen to her little brother and she'll even like helping out I'm sure. Also, having kids spread apart helps spread out expenses a bit too. Especially if you have to pay any sort of daycare fees.

Of course there are huge advantages to having kids closer in age too. I imagine they might have a tighter bond because they'd be playing together and maybe going to school together. It'd be a different type of relationship than one of a huge age gap would have. If you have 2 girls or 2 boys they could share a bedroom even. So that's kind of nice - for you anyway

All in all - it doesn't really matter. It's all what works for you and your family.

 

[tannembaum]

Well I haven't had two for long but theres 18 months between my babies. I'm loving the age gap, I think it helps dd1 is very loving and easy going, she loves her "babby" and helps get her dressed every morning
we've had minimal jealousy with only the occasional out break but it's only if me or oh are holding dd2 she sometimes wants a cuddle too (which I have no problem with)

Dd1 also said "hi mummy" for the first time when she came to see me and dd2 in hospital and now hasn't stopped saying it I think she was trying to impress lol

 

[heaven]

9 years apart here! Can't believe people have kids close together after having this age gap! My big girl helps me out so much! Couldn't do it without her.

Co-sleeping w/ 9 yr old just stopped when second baby came. Will resume when baby is big enough-maybe 18 mo? 12?

Want to wait 2 more years to start trying for another.
Doing the cloth diapering. It is awesome! Was worried about it. My three week old baby is already out of newborn sizes and is on the AIO tots bots and also using the prefolds w/ thirsties duo covers. Just need newborn size prefolds though. Only have about 6, so we do two loads a day.

Good luck! You're going to do great.

 

[Aunty E]

Imogen doesn't talk much, and actually that did make it a bit more difficult, but we've always been really good at picking up her cues, we just had to prompt ourselves a bit more.

Now Teddy can walk he and Imogen are having a bit of a combative phase. Hoping it resolves soon.