OT-Lost a good friend yesterday :(

[ParisJeTadore]

Guys, I really need some advice. I'm not even sure if this is the right place to be posting this except that I am 20 weeks pregnant, very emotional and this recent event has had me in tears all night and into this morning.

I lost a close friend who just had her baby three weeks ago yesterday. This is a devastating loss for both my husband and I as we were very close friends with her and her husband for many years. We have no idea what happened other than she was experiencing shortness of breath and died a short time later in hospital. The fact that she will never get to raise her baby boy, be a loving influence in his life and experience life past the age of 30 is more than I can bare atm This seems SO unfair. She waited three years to conceive, we were so overjoyed when we found she was pregnant and now this. I am so broken up and in the same instance feel helpless.

What should I do for her husband? What's the best way to help him? Should I visit or give him some time to grieve in peace? Any advice would really help.

Remember to hug those closest to you. I know it always seems to happen to someone else but when it happens so close to home it's a reminder how fragile and precious life is.

 

[JemmaLouise]

I think all you can do is extend your condolences and let him know you are there for him for anything if he needs it. To have a 3 week old and have to deal with the loss of his wife must be such a conflict of emotions and I cannot even bear to think of how he must be feeling.

I'm so sorry you lost your friend such a sad loss of life, especially as a new mother and a young woman not even 30?! xx

 

[cupcake23]

I am so sorry, this is awful news, makes you realise how life can be so cruel.

Just make sure he knows you will be there for him, your presence and support will be appreciated xxx

 

[Kmx]

That is just awful. I'm so so sorry for your loss. It makes me sad just thinking about it never mind living it.

I'm not sure what might help him it depends on the person. I would offer to visit to comfort him although he may not feel ready yet. Just let him know your there for him.

 

[bbbbbbb811]

This is so upsetting. The only thing I can say is to try and reach out to him and if he doesn't respond or seems reluctant then give him the space to grieve. But being a new father and losing his wife I'm sure he will appreciate everyone he cares about being around him. I'm so sorry for the loss, I can't imagine how you must feel. Life can be so cruel

 

[October9]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I know its not exactly the same but a close friend of mine lost her little girl at 32 weeks when I was pregnant with my son. I let her know I was there for her and as soon as she felt ok with me visiting to let me know and I would be there for her. I didn't want to be the heavily pregnant friend bursting in, reminding her of what she had lost.

I think like the other ladies have said, just let him know you are there for him and his son and let him take the reigns on this one x

 

[pinkpassion]

reading this just broke my heart. I'm so sorry you are going through this and that poor man!!! I just can't imagine!!!!

 

[shellshocked]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I cannot imagine the pain your or those close to your friend are feeling. As others have said just let your friend know you are there for him, perhaps wait for him to reach out. Sending big hugs.

 

[psychochick]

So sorry for your loss. I think you could help her husband in logistics as he not only has a new baby but also probably a lot of paperwork for his wife passing. I think even offers to help pick up diapers and formula would take a lot of stress and load away. I think emotionally speaking, just let him know you'll be there and maybe visit from time to time and see if he wants to talk.

 

[ParisJeTadore]

Thank you so much for your kind replies and for giving me some thoughtful advice. In the end I did as most said and let him know that we love them and are here to support in any way we can. He has had his phone off the last couple days (understandably) but leaving a message made me feel a lot better.

We are also putting together a large care package (snacks, comfort foods he grew up with, drinks, coffee, a book/iTunes card, diapers, formula, etc.) for him and the baby. This whole situation feels so surreal. I think about my dear friend constantly. It's almost too painful to think that she will never get to be with her baby, and watch him grow. Absolutely kills me. So so sad

 

[Blessedbaby]

Im so sorry for your loss ... this is so sad but Im glad you extended your help and support to her DH ...

 

[LeannieB]

I am so sorry. Thats So Sad. I feel so upset for you so can only imagine how you must be feeling. xx

 

[laila 44]

Pulmonary embolism, no doubt. I'm so so sorry that is devastating.

 

[broodymrs]

Oh my goodness. That is so terrible. I'm so sorry. I hope he feels able to accept your help soon. You make sure to look after yourself too, even though you are grieving you have a baby to grow