other people winding me up!

[sally88]

Does it drive anyone else crazy.... Being told what you should or shouldn't do with your baby. People complaining because I don't want my son to have a middle name and I am giving him a dummy and blah blah blah......!!
Maybe it's just the hormones but I wish people would let us do things our way, if we want help and advice we will ask for it, rant over lol. Do I sound awful???

 

[Medzi]

Nope... it will just get worse when baby comes :/ Trust me... I felt terrible a lot of the time when my son was born for these reasons and I have learned now I need to trust myself and my own instincts, regardless of the advice or who is giving it. No one will know your baby like you!

 

[bungle]

They are all well meaning in sure but yes it is annoying. I always find it strange how people react so strongly to giving baby's dummies, I understand when they're older but personally I think they have their place. All I will say is that you must of course do whatever you feel is best for your baby but don't close your ears to all advice, some of it must be useful. I have a friend who has recently had her first baby and I want to offer her support without sounding smug and all-knowing, it's very hard! And I really don't know it all, even third time around! Xx

 

[xMissxZoiex]

Urgh I hate people trying to give advice, I've found the only way to stop people throwing their opinions around when ever they feel like it is to be a blunt with them and maybe a little rude!.

"When I want your opinion I'll ask for it" works great and you can always blame it on the pregnancy hormones

 

[sippy1989]

I don't think you sound awful at all, and I agree with you! While at the dr the other day with my mum we were talking about names and a random woman piped up that the name I currently like is a "sissy" name and her ex son in law had the same name and that he was a real loser. Wish I had some sassy come back for her but instead I just sat there with shock. I don't understand what makes people feel entitled to an opinion about things that aren't even their own business!!

 

[JumpingIn]

I'm so lucky, I've had barely any of that so far. No doubt it'll come. I did have my MIL think that pumping breast milk was really weird, but I just found it funny because it made her seem sheltered

 

[smoore]

I haven't had any issues this time, but my family knows I'm pretty blunt. Last time, before I told them the name I told them I'm not changing it so I suggest not saying anything negative, because I won't forget comments like that. That seemed to ride over to this time well. Although, my dad has said he "can't ever remember" the name so he has called her random things like Betty Sue. I just ignore it and tell him Rylan is not that hard to remember.

Last time, I had people look at me as if I was a monster when I said that we wouldn't be using any kind of sleeper in our room. We live in a small house. We share a wall with the nursery. Not only that, but we have a doorway that goes from our room straight into the nursery. So, it is pretty much like sharing a room with the kid. However, they acted like I was the worst mother ever when saying my plans were to actually use the crib, not just use it as expensive decoration.


I pretty much always just say this is what will work for me. I also practice what I preach and try not to judge others (at least out loud. )

 

[butterflywolf]

I honestly didn't have much with my daughter and still not having much with my son. However, with my daughter people learned quickly that I am blunt and don't like your opinion XD People where saying oh all I want are girls you're so lucky. Oh you get to treat her like a princess, she is your princess, etc. I said to them, she is my daughter not a princess anything else? That usually shut them up XD

I say try to ignore them or come up with a sassy comeback. I have never just 'blamed it on the hormones' but by all means use it! If it gets them to shut up and respect your opinion of how YOU want to raise your child then do it. The only people that matters with their opinion is yours and the baby's father. And then and only then, if you need outside opinion (parents, friends, etc.) you will ask for it.

 

[lisaalove]

This time I haven't gotten opinions on how to raise baby so much as opinions on what I should and shouldn't be doing during pregnancy. Good lord it is annoying I know myself and my body better than you do so I really don't want to hear your opinions on what I am doing right and wrong during my pregnancy.

 

[mod19]

I feel bad for all you guys, I haven't gotten anything like that at all. A few comments about the name, but I've told them if they don't like it to shut it as the name will not change. They say ok and that's that. I have asked for advice though. I have a girl at work with a 5 month old so she's my biggest source of information. Then there's also a girl at work whose 2 months pregnant, and I'm her biggest source of information. But none of us offer up any unsolicited advice to the other, just tidbits of "what to expect at this stage" sort of things.

I'm sure people are in the right place when they offer such information, but I can totally understand how it would get annoying super fast! Especially since you're not asking for it and need to figure things out for yourself.

 

[Calcifer]

Don't get me started! I've had people criticising the fact that I don't want a sip of wine, or don't want to eat certain things, or worry about this or that... ARRGHHHHH. Everybody has an opinion! And I'm now sick of hearing them!

 

[SmartieMeUp]

I don't think you sound awful at all, and I agree with you! While at the dr the other day with my mum we were talking about names and a random woman piped up that the name I currently like is a "sissy" name and her ex son in law had the same name and that he was a real loser. Wish I had some sassy come back for her but instead I just sat there with shock. I don't understand what makes people feel entitled to an opinion about things that aren't even their own business!!

I'd have said something a long the lines of "maybe that had something to do with the upbringing he had with a rude step mother like you".

You call the shots with your baby, that is it. Don't let anybody else give commands. Take some advice of board but you don't have to use it.

 

[Perplexed]

Being in this kind of situation also pisses me off to no end. It got worse when DD was born and started from the day I got home from the hospital and didn't end till maybe recently. Thankfully I haven't gotten any comments this pregnancy and I really hope no one will comment on anything after the baby is born. I'm not very good at the art of letting things go into one ear and out the other, lol.

 

[pgfairy]

Yeeeup. Bigtime. Makes me insane, like I really appreciate that you are excited and you want to feel involved and that it takes a village blah blah blah but I haven't even had this kid yet and you're already trying to tell me how I want to raise him/her is wrong just because it wasn't how you did it with your two kids? Take a hike.

I'm pretty sure all the things I think I'm going to do right now are going to turn out to be not what I end up doing anyway, because I have no idea yet who this little person is or what they're going to like or not like, or how they're going to behave. And quite frankly neither does anyone else!

I think there should be a special statute for any woman who rips out someones throat for offering unsolicited advice same as for touching our stomachs without permission. With the hormones and the total barrage of information we are not to be held accountable for our actions.

 

[Hopefulk]

You don't sound awful at all... In my last pregnancy I left work early because the girl who say next to me had red bull breath and the sound of her breathing made me want to kick something, I couldn't bear talking to people and was generally annoyed by everyone and thing! So you sound absolutely fine!

When you are pregnant or have a newborn, people act as though the baby is the property of the world and I believe they pass on advice because they truly want what is best for baby. However, when you're constantly being given advice, it doesn't feel that way.

During pregnancy I found the best response was, "this is just what we're thinking now - we won't really know until baby arrives as they're all different" (gives them the message that you're flexible and that just because it worked for their son, it may not work for yours). After baby I always said, "this is working for us so we're happy with what we are doing at the moment - I'll bear that in mind if things change"

Good luck.xx

ps: this time next year you'll be one of us mums, inadvertently passing on advice! I swore I wouldn't be but I can hear myself so it sometimes... Especially about bf, blw, signing - I'm a jerk!