SassyLou
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Archie was a very much wanted baby, my husband, sons and myself were so excited to find we were having another child, I'm 39 and DH is 47. We'd had an 'accidental' pregnancy which sadly ended in miscarriage at 8 weeks in August 2010. We realised how much we wanted another child and fell pregnant again quite quickly in October 2010. As those who've been pregnant again after a loss will know its a nerve racking experience, however, our 12 week scan was fantastic and there was our little baby, heart beating and wriggling away. I had an appointment with the midwife at 15+1 weeks and heard Archie's heart beating, by this point I'd also felt him moving. Just over a week later whilst going to the toilet I had the tiniest spot of blood, honestly it was a speck. But after having had a miscarriage it worried me. I phoned the midwife and she told me to pop down so she could listen for the heartbeat. She spent over half an hour trying to find it but couldn't so sent me to the hospital. By this point it was early evening so I was sent to the ward where a doctor came and scanned me on a portable scan machine. In that moment mine and my husbands world came crashing down, I could see our baby laid lifeless on the scan. We went back the following day and had a more detailed scan which confirmed the previous evenings findings. I was seen by a midwife who advised that I really ought to be induced.
I went in on the Sunday (two days later) and had pessaries inserted to induce labour. Our beautiful little boy, Archie, was born just over two and a half hours later, I was 17+ weeks. I was amazed by the immence feeling of love I had and the amazing calmness that came over me when he was born. I still marvel at his perfection, he had the most amazing long fingers and chubby thighs. I think both myself and my husband took great comfort from the hours we spent with him after he was born. Leaving him at the hospital was the hardest thing I've ever done. We both said that due to the caring nature of the hospital staff and the time we'd spent with our beautiful son, the experience had been as positive as it could ever have been.
We decided to let the hospital chaplaincy service arrange the funeral, however, I think I always must have had it in my thoughts that I had 8 weeks to change my mind. After a week or so I really did begin to regret this decision and spoke to DH about it. I phoned the mortuary at the hospital where we had Archie and this is when our positive experience turned into an absolute nightmare, which I do still have nightmares about. They had no record of me or our son, basically they'd lost him. Our son was found many hours later at a hospital miles away, in the wrong department, having been treated in a way we neither consented to or wanted.
The hospital has apologised and we now find ourselves in the position of being able to assist with policy changes within our local hospital maternity services. We have a meeting again with them on Friday. The main change will be to the policy regarding storage of babies however we now have the ability to try and make changes generally to the maternity service. We also hope to highlight these problems across the country.
Here's where I'm asking for help
1 If you have a story where you feel you have been let down by your local hospital, I'd appreciate it if you would send it to me to include in the information we are giving to the hospital, this will be totally anonymous and will not give any hospital details etc. We'd also love to hear any positive stories eg things that were positive that were important to you etc.
My email address is [email protected] or you can of course PM me here.
2 Also below in the spoiler are some questions which are pertinent to our situation, they are quite sensitive questions (hence the spoiler) please don't open and read if you are worried you maybe upset.
Finally, I haven't completely said what happened to Archie as I don't want to upset people, if you would like to know what happened I'm quite happy to tell people via email or PM.
I went in on the Sunday (two days later) and had pessaries inserted to induce labour. Our beautiful little boy, Archie, was born just over two and a half hours later, I was 17+ weeks. I was amazed by the immence feeling of love I had and the amazing calmness that came over me when he was born. I still marvel at his perfection, he had the most amazing long fingers and chubby thighs. I think both myself and my husband took great comfort from the hours we spent with him after he was born. Leaving him at the hospital was the hardest thing I've ever done. We both said that due to the caring nature of the hospital staff and the time we'd spent with our beautiful son, the experience had been as positive as it could ever have been.
We decided to let the hospital chaplaincy service arrange the funeral, however, I think I always must have had it in my thoughts that I had 8 weeks to change my mind. After a week or so I really did begin to regret this decision and spoke to DH about it. I phoned the mortuary at the hospital where we had Archie and this is when our positive experience turned into an absolute nightmare, which I do still have nightmares about. They had no record of me or our son, basically they'd lost him. Our son was found many hours later at a hospital miles away, in the wrong department, having been treated in a way we neither consented to or wanted.
The hospital has apologised and we now find ourselves in the position of being able to assist with policy changes within our local hospital maternity services. We have a meeting again with them on Friday. The main change will be to the policy regarding storage of babies however we now have the ability to try and make changes generally to the maternity service. We also hope to highlight these problems across the country.
Here's where I'm asking for help
1 If you have a story where you feel you have been let down by your local hospital, I'd appreciate it if you would send it to me to include in the information we are giving to the hospital, this will be totally anonymous and will not give any hospital details etc. We'd also love to hear any positive stories eg things that were positive that were important to you etc.
My email address is [email protected] or you can of course PM me here.
2 Also below in the spoiler are some questions which are pertinent to our situation, they are quite sensitive questions (hence the spoiler) please don't open and read if you are worried you maybe upset.
Finally, I haven't completely said what happened to Archie as I don't want to upset people, if you would like to know what happened I'm quite happy to tell people via email or PM.
These questions are for babies sadly lost before 24 weeks, however if you have a story after 24 weeks or wish to answer the questions please, please do so.
1. Did you have a hospital arranged funeral or make private arrangements yourself?
2. Were you told where your baby would be eg mortuary/histopathology etc?
3. Did you agree to a post mortem?
4. If/when you left your baby at the hospital how do you envisage (or were told) your baby would be stored to preserve him/her? (really important question)
5. Were you told that you could take you baby home after delivery?
1. Did you have a hospital arranged funeral or make private arrangements yourself?
2. Were you told where your baby would be eg mortuary/histopathology etc?
3. Did you agree to a post mortem?
4. If/when you left your baby at the hospital how do you envisage (or were told) your baby would be stored to preserve him/her? (really important question)
5. Were you told that you could take you baby home after delivery?
So what I am wondering is when you need this information by, as I would like to wait until it is all resolved for us before contributing?
and had died at 19weeks... (in short terms) the results showed the amniotic fluid around her had gone?! and this forms an amnictoc band which doesnt grow and baby does.. this had attached to the plecenta, so she never got what she needed... I was right she was pefrect and the problem was with the plecenta.
