Over 35 ttc#2 for over a year

[hinkybinky]

This is a kind of 'branch off' thread from a ttc thread in the Over 35s section where I have made lots of good friends, most of whom now have large bumps or babies to show for it! Two ttc-ers remain from that thread, so I thought we could relocate over here. It goes without saying that anyone who would like to is more than welcome to join us and share the ttc roller coaster!

After having my son in Nov 2010 we were ntnp and fell pregnant in Aug 2011 but unfortunately mc at 11 weeks. Since then I've had 3 more miscarriages (2 where the embryos probably failed to implant properly and another missed miscarriage just before Christmas).

I turn 36 next month, and feel that my time is running out. My son would love a little brother (or sister, I suppose!) and I would love to go through pregnancy and childbirth and nurturing a newborn again, not to mention all the fun that comes next. I have loved every bit of it and never imagined for a second that it might be the last time. I have now changed from "when we have another one" to "if we have another one", and am beginning to consider the possibility that one might be it. That makes me so sad though.

I'm due to see the consultant at the local hospital in March. I know there are lots of tests they don't do on the NHS (all the endocrinology stuff for a start) and while we have no savings or spare money, I think I would consider just sticking it all on a credit card and worrying about it later if the initial appointment doesn't bring us any closer to an answer.

Please feel free to join this thread, especially if, like me, you feel that you have been on this treadmill for far too long!! Let it be our turn next

 

[captainj1]

Hey hinky

I'm the other one of the two that are still TTC, for the benefit of those that join us in our journey, I'm 37 (38 in July...eek!) and have an amazing son who is 26 months old and who I've been trying to conceive a sibling for since December 2011.

I've only ever been pregnant once, which was my son - no history of miscarriage, but my son took 7 months to conceive, I have regular cycles and use CBFM and appear to be ovulating, and we are DTD at all the right times...but still no luck.

I am in the midst of tests - FSH was 10.7, ultrasound showed follicles in each ovary so nothing immediately obviously wrong other than me getting on a bit.

My DH is 35, he is having a semen analysis (lucky him!) this weekend, I'm also awaiting the result of a blood test for AMH. When we have these results it will be back to the FS to work out next steps. If everything looks normal we will try for another 4-5 months before returning for help - which will probably be IVF if it is 'unexplained secondary subfertility'. What a lovely phrase for 'god knows why you aren't up the duff love, you've done it before'.

Anyway I'm hoping lots of lovely ladies in similar situations will join me and hinky, but if not, I guess we'll just keep each other company!



xxxxx

 

[starlight2801]

Hinky and Captain

For the benefit of any new ladies that join I'm Starlight and I'm one of the lucky ladies from the original thread in the TTC over 35's section. I'm 37 years old and expecting baby number two in 7 weeks time.

I don't want to post anything else about me on here but will be stalking this thread regularly to keep up with my good friends TTC journey and I'm sure I'll be piping up with the odd comment too, in relation to your journeys, not mine.

I wanted to briefly introduce myself so the thread will appear in my subscriptions and of course so any new ladies joining dont think 'why is this strange woman posting on here?' I hope this is ok.

All that remains for now is for me to wish you both all the luck in the world with your TTC journeys. I look forward to your updates and hope that some more like minded ladies in similar situations come on board to share with you

to you both and to all who join this thread and are in need of it xxxx

 

[hinkybinky]

Update from me: I got AF today. Feel relieved actually, because it means my cycle is hopefully getting back to normal. We've dtd a couple of times and I will admit I did have this tiny glimmer of hope that I'd be one of those women who gets pg straight after mc, but I know that logically it will be much better if we don't conceive before I see the consultant. We are ntnp, as there is no way I could prevent pregnancy after all this time trying. You never know if the next month might be the lucky one...

I know it's silly but what has been pissing me off the last few days is that Kate Middleton is apparently due around the time I'd have been. Obviously it's not her fault but I am really dreading July when everything will go baby mad. Gah. My friend is also having a baby at the same time, but I'm actually excited about that, as she only lives up the road and I can pop up there and steal cuddles! I just need to make sure I don't accidentally steal the baby

Captain, good luck with all your tests, and your poor hubby with his little pot What's AMH? Which CD are you on at the moment? I guess all the while it's 'unexplained' (horrible term) it could always be your lucky month, just as it might be my lucky egg

 

[ChelliBelle]

Hinky and Captain

For the benefit of any new ladies that join I'm Starlight and I'm one of the lucky ladies from the original thread in the TTC over 35's section. I'm 37 years old and expecting baby number two in 7 weeks time.

I don't want to post anything else about me on here but will be stalking this thread regularly to keep up with my good friends TTC journey and I'm sure I'll be piping up with the odd comment too, in relation to your journeys, not mine.

I wanted to briefly introduce myself so the thread will appear in my subscriptions and of course so any new ladies joining dont think 'why is this strange woman posting on here?' I hope this is ok.

All that remains for now is for me to wish you both all the luck in the world with your TTC journeys. I look forward to your updates and hope that some more like minded ladies in similar situations come on board to share with you

to you both and to all who join this thread and are in need of it xxxx

I too am from the original thread, currently expecting no. 1.
Like above, just commenting this once so that this will show up on my subscriptions


Hinky & Captain the stalking will commence from here..... Good luck my darlings! and to all those who join this thread too x

 

[EverythingXd]

Another stalker here, from the original thread :wave: Wishing you ladies sticky BFPs very soon and looking forward to reading your updates

 

[MrsPhez]

Hi ladies, Newbie here! Lovely to read your stories and hope we can share this journey together.
I'm 36, we have a darling boy just turned 2, had a mc at 7 weeks at the end of October and we're ready to try again.
CD7 today, o around CD19 so it's a bit quiet this week. We'll step it up next week!
Good luck on your TTC journeys!

 

[hinkybinky]

Hi ladies, Newbie here! Lovely to read your stories and hope we can share this journey together.
I'm 36, we have a darling boy just turned 2, had a mc at 7 weeks at the end of October and we're ready to try again.
CD7 today, o around CD19 so it's a bit quiet this week. We'll step it up next week!
Good luck on your TTC journeys!

Hi, welcome to our thread. I am sorry for your loss. It is so unexpected, isn't it, when you have had one successful pregnancy.

May I ask, had you been trying for long before you conceived your two pregnancies? Hopefully, you will not have to wait long before you manage to get your next BFP xxx

I'm CD8 today, generally o anytime between 14 and 21 so we may well be synchronised!

AFM, I am umming and aahing about whether to really track my ovulation, as I'm not strictly ttc until we've seen the specialist, but on the other hand I do not want to waste any months!! I have a few days to decide, I suppose. Rather than opks, I might actually start temping again, which I haven't done since ttc my son due to broken nights' sleep... but I think I sleep reliably enough now to make it fairly accurate. At least I could then pinpoint ovulation or lack thereof, which may be useful information somewhere along the line.

 

[MrsPhez]

Hi ladies, Newbie here! Lovely to read your stories and hope we can share this journey together.
I'm 36, we have a darling boy just turned 2, had a mc at 7 weeks at the end of October and we're ready to try again.
CD7 today, o around CD19 so it's a bit quiet this week. We'll step it up next week!
Good luck on your TTC journeys!

Hi, welcome to our thread. I am sorry for your loss. It is so unexpected, isn't it, when you have had one successful pregnancy.

May I ask, had you been trying for long before you conceived your two pregnancies? Hopefully, you will not have to wait long before you manage to get your next BFP xxx

I'm CD8 today, generally o anytime between 14 and 21 so we may well be synchronised!

AFM, I am umming and aahing about whether to really track my ovulation, as I'm not strictly ttc until we've seen the specialist, but on the other hand I do not want to waste any months!! I have a few days to decide, I suppose. Rather than opks, I might actually start temping again, which I haven't done since ttc my son due to broken nights' sleep... but I think I sleep reliably enough now to make it fairly accurate. At least I could then pinpoint ovulation or lack thereof, which may be useful information somewhere along the line.

Thanks for the welcome!
You're right, it was a huge shock. Was a bit blase about the 2nd pregnancy thinking it would be fine.
I've been temping since the mc and was doing opks last month but my FF chart and my opk conflicted by a couple of days (FF said I had od but I didnt get my pos opk till a day or two later).
Good news is that we conceived both pregnancies the first month of trying. Unbelievabe right? Esp as I had PCO with my first son (long story there but it miraculously cleared up after having him).
So lots of miracles, will we be so lucky the next time? Who knows....

 

[captainj1]

Hey MrsPhez!

That sounds really positive about conceiving both pregnancies quickly, although obviously I'm really sorry to hear about your loss. Fingers crossed you get another BFP soon xxx
I'm 10 or 11 dpo an just started my usual pre AF spotting so another month bites the dust. Thinking positively, we have our FS follow up on 1st Feb to get the SA and AMH results so maybe we will have a bit more to go on then. If the FS still isn't minded to take any action I think I'm going to get a second opinion from anothe clinic I've had recommended to me. I just feel like walking in somewhere and saying 'give me IVF! I have the money!!!'. I keep going from convincing myself this month could be it, to daydreaming about IVF giving me twins, to worrying that I might not have any good eggs left and my DS might be an only child. I'm going ever so slightly mad...

 

[hinkybinky]

Hey MrsPhez!

That sounds really positive about conceiving both pregnancies quickly, although obviously I'm really sorry to hear about your loss. Fingers crossed you get another BFP soon xxx
I'm 10 or 11 dpo an just started my usual pre AF spotting so another month bites the dust. Thinking positively, we have our FS follow up on 1st Feb to get the SA and AMH results so maybe we will have a bit more to go on then. If the FS still isn't minded to take any action I think I'm going to get a second opinion from anothe clinic I've had recommended to me. I just feel like walking in somewhere and saying 'give me IVF! I have the money!!!'. I keep going from convincing myself this month could be it, to daydreaming about IVF giving me twins, to worrying that I might not have any good eggs left and my DS might be an only child. I'm going ever so slightly mad...

Boo to AF. Even when I was sort of hoping for mine this month, as a sign things were back to normal, I still felt totally crushed - as I do every month - when it arrived.

Will be keeping fingers crossed for you for 1st Feb. I'd think with the length of time you've been trying they will have to get things going with IVF, won't they? And yes, it's frustrating if you are willing to pay and you are still waiting. I am sure things will get going soon.

I know what you mean about going through scenarios... I have almost identical thought processes. I do sometimes think this nightmare could just be over and the next pregnancy could be fine. I also have this internal debate about whether it's worth going through loads of tests, potentially some serious medication and possibly more heartache. I have already convinced myself the NHS will find nothing wrong and then I have the decision to spend £2000 we don't have on private treatment, and I'm not sure if I could do that if there were no guarantee of a baby at the end of it. Some days I decide I could be happy with what I've got, and others I have that fire in my belly to do whatever it takes for another shot at motherhood.

I do find this dominates my waking thoughts, unless I'm distracted by work. I am sure that's not healthy, but can't be uncommon. Glad I can come here and talk to people who understand.

 

[captainj1]

i totally empathise hinky. EVERY waking moment. and there are far more waking moments because of it - i've been suffering with insomnia for months. I lie awake just thinking all sorts of nonsense - not just TTC stuff - until 3, 4am. it is killing me.

I also had a medical before christmas and found out last week that i am quite badly anaemic and have a heart murmur, so i'm going for more blood tests and a cardiogram to make sure all is OK and it is just that i need some strong iron supplements. The doctor said with my haemoglobin levels, I would be exhausted even without the 60+ hour working weeks and ongoing insomina.

god i'm getting old and rickety

 

[Dylis]

hi I'm 38 well at least for the next 2 days. My DD is 4 and ive been trying for no2 ever since. Find it hard as only took 2 months to get pregnant then.

 

[hinkybinky]

i totally empathise hinky. EVERY waking moment. and there are far more waking moments because of it - i've been suffering with insomnia for months. I lie awake just thinking all sorts of nonsense - not just TTC stuff - until 3, 4am. it is killing me.

I also had a medical before christmas and found out last week that i am quite badly anaemic and have a heart murmur, so i'm going for more blood tests and a cardiogram to make sure all is OK and it is just that i need some strong iron supplements. The doctor said with my haemoglobin levels, I would be exhausted even without the 60+ hour working weeks and ongoing insomina.

god i'm getting old and rickety

Cripes, captain, that's all you need From what you've said before I know that you work bloody hard, zipping all over the place, then trying to make the most of your time off with your LO, then all this ttc on top of that - it is no wonder you are run down. If you're not getting much sleep on top, well that is not good Sending you loads of and hope you manage to get some rest soon xxx

 

[hinkybinky]

hi I'm 38 well at least for the next 2 days. My DD is 4 and ive been trying for no2 ever since. Find it hard as only took 2 months to get pregnant then.

Hi Dylis! Sorry to hear that you are still waiting for your bubba, 4 years is a long time It's just so hard to accept there might be a problem when the first time was so easy - we only took 3 months to conceive our son, and I had absolutely no problems with my pregnancy and no inkling that I would ever be 'one of those women'. You sort of feel you're home and dry, don't you.

Welcome, and thanks for posting. It's great to feel there are others in this boat and hope we will all be lucky this year x

 

[hinkybinky]

How is everyone? I'm thinking of going to see my GP just to see if they can do any tests in advance of the miscarriage clinic. Not sure if it's a waste of time though. I am always wary of sounding too knowledgeable as they are understandably cynical of people self-diagnosing etc, but on the other hand if you are not knowledgeable they will just fob you off. I had all this with my son's allergies; they were so reluctant to test him at all and kept just churning out the same old phrases. I am starting to wonder if these GPs in my surgery are all just rubbish - whichever one you see, you have to really persuade them to take you seriously. Is this all doctors or just my ones??

 

[captainj1]

hi I'm 38 well at least for the next 2 days. My DD is 4 and ive been trying for no2 ever since. Find it hard as only took 2 months to get pregnant then.

Hey Dylis, a belated welcome to the thread from me! Must be really tough to go from 2 months with DD to the long haul with #2. I took 7 months with DS so it is I suppose less of a shock to find myself on cycle #17 now with no sniff of a BFP, although still really tough going.

My consultant cancelled his clinic this week so I haven't had the results of my AMH bloods and DH's SA yet. We are going on Wednesday now. Then get my iron/vitb12 deficiency tests back on Thursday night, then having my echocardiogram on 15th feb. fun fun fun. Although I'm looking forward to Wednesday as at least it should be a step forward in the process one way or another...

X hope everyone else is ok and having a nice weekend x

 

[MrsPhez]

Not been on here for a while. Sorry some of you are struggling, the pressure is intense when you get to our age isn't it?
I am currently 4 dpo (confirmed o on FF by) and feeling a few niggles low down but not daring to hope at this stage. Also tired but with a 2 year old, who wouldn't be? Hugs to you all

 

[captainj1]

How is everyone? I'm thinking of going to see my GP just to see if they can do any tests in advance of the miscarriage clinic. Not sure if it's a waste of time though. I am always wary of sounding too knowledgeable as they are understandably cynical of people self-diagnosing etc, but on the other hand if you are not knowledgeable they will just fob you off. I had all this with my son's allergies; they were so reluctant to test him at all and kept just churning out the same old phrases. I am starting to wonder if these GPs in my surgery are all just rubbish - whichever one you see, you have to really persuade them to take you seriously. Is this all doctors or just my ones??

My doctors are very efficient, polite, good at bedside manner and respectful of busy lifestyles in trying to schedule appointments. They were very much as you describe when DS had his lactose intolerance though - fobbed me off as a new mum overreacting 4 times before they finally had to listen to him screaming his head off for 90 minutes when they were running late for his 16 week jabs. It was only then that they believed me she I said he cried hard for hours and hours every day and nothing would console him, not even feeding. They didnt jab him, gave me an on the spot drs appointment, and immediately diagnosed him with lactose intolerance.

On the sub fertility issue, they have been helpful in that they did initial bloods after 6 months for FSH and were happy to refer me private, but I doubt they would have done anything else by now except maybe given me clomid had I stuck just with Nhs. Ovulating isn't my problem though, think it is quality not quantity. X

 

[Dylis]

Captainj1 sounds like the the next 2 weeks should give you some answers .

Mrs phez I'm also 4dpo and its so hard to ignore niggles, my body seems to try different niggles and symptons each month to keep me on edge