Over too soon?

[ScorpioLoz]

I miscarried on Monday 26th August. I didn't get a scan till the following Friday so I denied the fact I'm miscarrying and held onto any last hope. Friday showed nothing to indicate a pregnancy yet my hcg was slowly rising. They prepared me for a possible miscarriage... I was distraught! I cried all day and night. I barely ate and slept when I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. On Saturday I had visitors round to see how I was and each time I looked at their faces I burst into tears. Sunday I was ok until it was time to sleep. I cried bitterly into my pillow but eventually got to sleep.

I was grieving... Understandably.

However...!

This week I feel no grief, no remorse... Just nothing. Work gave me a weeks compassionate leave. I feel like I can talk freely about my miscarriage. I had a scan Wednesday 4th September which confirmed the miscarriage and I cried a little because it was so final but after that I was fine.

Am I over it already? Am I harbouring my feelings?

Of course I feel sad but I'm not crying anymore :-/ I have however started cuddling my other half a lot more telling him to stay there (so he doesn't move).

 

[Wishing89]

Firstly I am truly sorry for your loss.

I think your feelings might be kind of normal. I am currently having a miscarriage but I had found out about a week ago it was likely to happen through multiple hcg blood tests. I was a mess at first! I was also dreading seeing any of my pregnant friends (I have 3!) one who is 3 weeks ahead and was very excited we were pregnant together. I have had a few good cries and to be honest I kind of feel okay now. Like my life is kind of back to how it was before I found out I was pregnant. And yesterday my friend who was 3 weeks ahead had to drop past and honestly I didn't get as upset as I thought I would. She already has a belly and everything and I think I coped okay.

I still have a moment here or there when i think about what could have been but I do feel like I have managed to deal with it a bit too quickly. Who knows. I guess only time will tell hey!

Also I might add I barely told anyone I was pregnant so I haven't told anyone what I'm going through. Maybe because I haven't really talked to anyone about it I haven't grieved properly who knows.

 

[Celesse]

I never felt sad about my miscarriage. I was pissed off having spend 6 weeks feeling like crap, I was disapoitned I wasn't gonna be having a baby in February and kinda angry at the failed pregnancy for hanging around so long and implanting in the first place. But never sad. And I felt completely ok with things very quickly. The sensible part of my brain kicked in pretty early and I accepted that chances where the baby had a chromosomal abnormality that was not compatable with life and therefore it never had the capability of becoming a baby in the first place. I've only cried cos I got fed up of people being nice to me when I just wanted them to be normal.

I don't think there is anyway right or wrong way to feel after miscarriage. Or a right or wrong amount of time to have negative emotions. Its a unique kind of loss. You have lost something you never had. You were promised your life was headed in one direction only to find you are back where you where a few weeks ago. A person in your life has been taken from you, but you never got to meet them.

Everyone knows I had a miscarriage cos I wrote some rather detailed blog posts about it and have spoken completely freely about it. I do think it helps getting over it to talk freely about it.

 

[Literati_Love]

Grief is very cyclical and I didn't cry much after the first few days either, but then weeks later I started crying all the time again. Not saying that is going to happen to you, but you may just be going through a phase right now but you might still have an emotional release yet to come.