KandyKinz
Longtime Mama
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- Mar 9, 2010
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Suddenly today I've developed a strong overwhelming fear of becoming high risk. Terrible scenarios keep playing over in my head
As a former midwifery student I KNOW that most pregnancies and labours go without any problems, but I have seen many bad things happen as well.... and I've seen medical interventions being used again and again and again just to be on the safe side and I just really want to finally experience a normal natural birth at home. I know that the health of babe is the most important, but I can't seem to devalue the importance of the birth experience.
And sometimes I really wish that I knew absolutely nothing about pregnancy, then I wouldn't have so much to worry about. For example, I vaguely remember having itchy feet and hands last pregnancy.... the memory is incredibly vague but I know it happened. It was never really severe (or I am sure I would have remembered it more clearly) and I'm pretty sure it was fairly intermittent. Back then I just assumed it was a normal symptoms of pregnancy... and now I'm like OMG what if I had undiagnosed cholestasis??? and what if I get it again??? Then I'll have to go to OB care (I really really really really don't want obstetrical care, I have had previous really bad experiences) and then I'll have to have to be induced and have a hospital birth and ick... all the bad thoughts keep coming....
Most likely, I probably didn't have cholestasis... and it's all in my head now... And I know it's silly to be freaked out about something that not even happening now... but I just can't seem to make the bad thoughts go away?
Anyone else dealing with this?

And sometimes I really wish that I knew absolutely nothing about pregnancy, then I wouldn't have so much to worry about. For example, I vaguely remember having itchy feet and hands last pregnancy.... the memory is incredibly vague but I know it happened. It was never really severe (or I am sure I would have remembered it more clearly) and I'm pretty sure it was fairly intermittent. Back then I just assumed it was a normal symptoms of pregnancy... and now I'm like OMG what if I had undiagnosed cholestasis??? and what if I get it again??? Then I'll have to go to OB care (I really really really really don't want obstetrical care, I have had previous really bad experiences) and then I'll have to have to be induced and have a hospital birth and ick... all the bad thoughts keep coming....
Most likely, I probably didn't have cholestasis... and it's all in my head now... And I know it's silly to be freaked out about something that not even happening now... but I just can't seem to make the bad thoughts go away?
Anyone else dealing with this?