Overwhelmed with sadness today

[fertilesoul]

This is my first time posting. I just needed a place to vent anonymously.
This is my 11th cycle TTC#2. In the past I got pregnant on the first try three times in a row -- but only carried the third pregnancy to term. I feel grateful and lucky to have one healthy soon-to-be three year old; but I have been sad and confused each month the age gap widens between my toddler and future child.

Husband's SA: "above average"
My tests: normal AMH, normal progesterone, normal TSH
Current plan: bd every other day, extra folic acid, prenatal

Not sure what's going on with my body but this journey has felt long and lonely; and tonight I just needed to cry about it.

 

[aj2000]

I read your post and wanted to send you a hug - I'm v sorry things are making you sad.

I also have a little boy who is nearly 3 and desperately want a brother or sister for him. It makes me sad too.

 

[KateF]

Hugs to both of you. We're in the same boat. DD will be 3 in October and we've been TTC#2 for nearly 2 years now. I too was stressing out over the increasing age gap but I've managed to accept that now. I know plenty of people with a larger age gap that works perfectly - a small gap doesn't necessarily mean that siblings will play well!

I'm on clomid now and really praying for some good news soon. I did manage to get pg last November but sadly miscarried at 11 weeks.

Good luck

Katex

 

[greengerbera]

I also feel sad not being able to give my son a brother or sister! So completely understand how you feel..

I have been trying for over a year now - did fall pregnant in Dec but sadly miscarried at 6 weeks!

I have a FS appointment this week - where I am hoping they might be able to give me some assistance / further checks...

I am also trying to take a positive outlook to it all this month and reduce stress levels in a hope that is may assist me in achieving a BFP!

Fingers crossed it may happen for us all soon!!

 

[readyformore]

I also worry about the widening age gap.
My first and second are 24 months apart. The second and third are 48 months. Although 24 months was very difficult at first, I prefer it.
Now my "baby" is over 2.5 years. She's not in her crib anymore and she's potty training.

I really wanted her to have a sibling close in age to her. . . but 14 cycles later she is still without a close age sibling. At the best, she'll be 3.5 years. She'll never get to experience that close age gap that I was striving for. But, there's nothing I can do. My first was extremely difficult to conceive as well.

It is sad. And confusing. I'm so tremendously grateful for my children, but I still want more. For me and for them.

Big hugs. It's hard.

 

[fertilesoul]

Thanks so much for reading and commenting on my thread. I am 14 dpo today so will find out soon if my miracle came or if I'm on to cycle 12.

I sincerely hope all of you get your BFPs soon.

 

[rflower]

I'm glad this place is here for venting. I think we're all going through something we wish we could hurry up a little. Best case senereo I will have 5 1/2 years between mine.

I'm sorry to hear about your sadness.

 

[orca]

Thank you for sharing your story. This forum is the only place I can come and truly have someone understand what I'm going through. I am on my 4th month of femara 2.5mg, my doctor just put me up to 5mg today. We have been ttc our second child since November 2009. I got pregnant with my now 3.5 year old daughter on the first try. Everyone around me seems to get pregnant so easily and its very hard emotionally. I worry about the age gap as well. All my friends that have had babies in the same year as I did have all had second babies and completed their families. I do my best to remain hopeful every day and try and stay positive, but it's so hard. I send all of you ladies hugs and wish you lots of baby dust. I consider myself so blessed to have my DD and my wonderful husband. I always try to remind myself that "all good things are worth waiting for".

 

[mummymurray74]

Hi ladies, i feel in the same boat and agree with all your posts, my son is 2 and we have been trying for 9 months, i really thought we would be nearing birth by now as with my other pregnancies we concieved within 2/3 months. Ive been so depressed and ive gone from trying everything to relaxing and leaving opk's etc out-still nothing, we have been referred to the infertility department and have an appointment on 20th september, but im at the end ofmy tether, my sister is pregant with her second just 1 1/2 years after her first, and she wasnt purposly 'trying' eerrggghhh!!!!Ive cut myself off from her because its so hard to deal with, although we dont get on that well anyway, as she thinks shes better than everyone else because she married a stockbroker and got a big house in an affluent area, Makes me so mad! My mum makes me so annoyed with comments like 'well you have children already soit shouldnt matter if you cant have anymore'!.. Is it just me or does it not matter if you have 10 or 1, if you want another and its not happening it dosent lessen the need or the hurt or wanting?? I feel terrible but everywhere i look there are pregnant women, i went to ikea the other day and just in the restaurant i saw at least 6 people, i am at the point where i hate them because im so jealous, and i nearly started crying in the sodding restaurant!!! Id love some friends to talk to who feel the same way, i feel i let my hubby down every month, we did an at home sperm test and it came back as above average, so it must be me and im worried as im 37 maybe my body is going downhill even though we concieved twice 2 years ago with no problems x

 

[Tracy80]

I feel just the same. My one and only daughter is 3 and a half now and we've been trying for a baby for 3 years. I fell pregnant with her instantly and am so upset that I just cannot get pregnant. My partner has a lower than average sperm count (13 million) but his doctor doesn't see that as the main problem. I have been referred to the infertility clinic on 11th October and I just can't wait! Every month I'm just so upset and I long for my beautiful little girl to have a brother or sister. I'm 31 and always wanted a big family and worry so much that it will never happen for me. Fingers crossed for all of the rest of you going through the same xx

 

[Tracy80]

I feel just the same. My one and only daughter is 3 and a half now and we've been trying for a baby for 3 years. I fell pregnant with her instantly and am so upset that I just cannot get pregnant. My partner has a lower than average sperm count (13 million) but his doctor doesn't see that as the main problem. I have been referred to the infertility clinic on 11th October and I just can't wait! Every month I'm just so upset and I long for my beautiful little girl to have a brother or sister. I'm 31 and always wanted a big family and worry so much that it will never happen for me. Fingers crossed for all of the rest of you going through the same xx

 

[Tracy80]

Sorry duplicated that post! X

 

[Jennifer01]

My only child is almost 17!! Not sure if I'm even still considered secondary infertility with that size of a gap?! I am in my 30's and of course got pg without trying the first time, and nothing since! We have been ttc at least 2 years, and ntnp for about 3 years before that. I can sympathize with you feeling down-I think everyone here must get that way from time to time.

 

[asa9841]

This is my first time posting. I just needed a place to vent anonymously.
This is my 11th cycle TTC#2. In the past I got pregnant on the first try three times in a row -- but only carried the third pregnancy to term. I feel grateful and lucky to have one healthy soon-to-be three year old; but I have been sad and confused each month the age gap widens between my toddler and future child.

Husband's SA: "above average"
My tests: normal AMH, normal progesterone, normal TSH
Current plan: bd every other day, extra folic acid, prenatal

Not sure what's going on with my body but this journey has felt long and lonely; and tonight I just needed to cry about it.

Sorry... my son is gonna be 6, and i wonder if the years are to far apart already! Keep your head up

 

[magicvw]

Aw this is a sad thread Let's not lose hope ladies! My story is that my first took 10 months to conceive, my 2nd took 18 months and we are now in month 20 of ttc our third. TTC is hard! Secondary infertility is (I think) simply that you already have a child and have been ttc more than 12 cycles for a subsequent one (so Jennifer01 you do "qualify"!) We are a very misunderstood group - LTTTCers sometimes think that because we've already got kids, we don't feel the pain of infertility. New TTCers make us feel old and haggard (well kinda lol!) But I think it's important to realise two things: a) you are not alone! and b) there is hope. Unless you've hit the actual (not peri) menopause, you are still in the game. Nothing is achieved by feeling sad, sorry or angry. Embrace life, be generous and try to make others happy - there is nothing better for the soul. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[mrsh2011]

Oh wow, I'm sad that others are in the same situation as me but also grateful that others "get it". I am so sad I cannot give my daughter a sibling to play with, and she will be 3.5 at bare minimum even if we conceive this cycle. It's so unfair. So big hugs to all, it's terrible and I think we do OK to just get through the day. Baby dusty to all.

PS It got so bad for me that I am now medicated for depression. It seems to be helping. But wow it's really hard.

 

[Crystal5483]

I hear you ladies. My daughter is going to be 5 in October. She wasn't planned, but is obviously very loved. I wished we could have given her a sibling sooner, but it just didn't happen. We tried a few years back and gave up. Then my mother fell sick with cancer, and passed away last August (2010), so we started immediately in Sept and here we are a year later and still nothing. She'll be almost 6 by the time the next one comes, if not older. Such a sad thing. But I would have killed for a sibling. (only child to my parents, my dad has another daughter whom I didn't really know until about 3 years ago)

Best of luck to us ALL !!!