Overwhelmed

[cparks1]

I am feeling very overwhelmed. I took my LO to his 2 week checkup and he still isn't back to birth weight. The pediatrician wants to see us back again next week for a weight check. He gained 4.4 ounces but needs to gain 6 ounces this week otherwise I will either have to feed breast milk to him in a saringe, finger feed him or supplement a bottle (which I don't want to do formula at all). I feel like a failure. I have been keeping crib notes (all the times that he eats which is every 2-3 hours, and when he poops or pees). I can't seem to get anything done around the house because I am very limited on time due to breast feeding. I am confused on the whole pumping thing just because it is new to me. My sister is trying to help me as much as she can but she lives 45 minutes away so she can mainly only help over the phone. I am so exhausted and I just feel like I'm not a good mom even though I am trying really hard. My mom is being really helpful by saying she will watch him whenever I need to run errands and has been going to his checkups with me but she doesn't know anything about breast feeding. I'm hardly ever hungry but I know I need to eat to help my LO gain some weight so I am force feeding myself. I have four weeks until I go back to work and I don't even feel close to being ready for that.

Sorry for such a long post but I didn't know who else to turn to. I've just been really upset today and have been crying. I just feel like I don't know what I am doing. Please tell me I'm not alone, does anyone else struggle with this?

 

[Margerle]

For one thing, hang in there! It will get better. Your doc can't force you to do anything you don't want to. You are the mama. If you see your baby is healthy, pooping and peeing on a regular basis, sleeping, has contented times etc., then I wouldn't worry too much about weight. Babies who are bf'ing gain weight very differntly from formula babies. Tthey have many plateaus where they don't gain any weight, and steep curves where they gain like crazy. I would get in contact with the local LLL in your area and set up an appointment with them. Sometimes they can help and reassure you that you're doing everything right, even when you feel like you're so unsure.

Once my LO got to be 5-6 weeks old, there was a bit of a turn where I felt much more comfortable with how things were going, and the communication that Sharlotte and I were developing. Things still aren't real good, I still get up several times at night, and she eats every 3-4 hours for an hour at a time, she has painful gassiness etc. etc., but I feel less overwhelmed. (And this is my 2nd child!) I can imagine the stress you are feeling.

So, call the LLL, maybe even get a second opinion from a doc that is well versed and accepting of bf'ing.

https://www.llli.org/

https://www.breastfeeding.com/directory/lcdirectory.html

https://www.ilca.org/falc.html

 

[Samantha675]

Feeling overwhelmed, to be honest, is totally normal and common. Having a baby is totally overwhelming, it is such a huge thing.

I agree with Marg, BF babies are going to gain more slowly than bottle babies, so keep that in mind. Many of the charts docs use are for bottle feed babies. As long as you baby is going through enough diapers, then don't be too concerned about the weight. Remember that YOU are the expert on YOUR baby!

Also, the LLL is wonderful, so contacting them is also great advice.

Hang in there love, it will get better and easier.

 

[Holldoll]

Overwhelming is normal! I am just now starting to feel like I'm getting the hang of this bf thing and my mom is here helping me. I'm not sure what I would have done the last 2 months if she weren't here and she bf 4 kids! Bella was not back to her birth weight by 2 weeks. It wasn't until 3.5 weeks that she was back to it. Now she is 13 lbs. 6 oz!

 

[lady3]

You are definitely not alone. I just wish people would tell you the difficulties that come when you start breastfeeding. Everyone told me it was difficult, but not why.

I started supplementing a bottle (of breastmilk) within a couple of days of her birth as she wasn't eating enough, and I wish I had persevered and waited on the bottle, as it would have saved us a lot of frustration with nipple confusion. I just freaked out myself over how much she was eating and decided that at least I could see how much she was eating if I gave her a bottle. It's very normal to feel like this.

Marlie is still struggling with bfing, but we continue to try. And although she is now 3 weeks, I still freak out when she is solely bf because I still don't know how much she's eating and she only nurses for 5-10 minutes at a time.

I'm hoping that by 2 months we will all have this sussed out. It helps that we all share our struggles and frustrations as it shows that we're not alone, so keep sharing and we'll all get through this together. Lots of hugs to you. I'm sure your little one will gain lots of weight in the next week.