Own mother not excited? Any similar stories?

[HappyWife90]

I did not want to tell really anyone about this pregnancy until at least 12 weeks because I spend all day worrying about miscarriage. But I have been getting sick SO much that I just "needed to talk to my mommy" if you know what I mean. So I told her today over the phone, at 8w5d. She was very flat about the whole thing. I got a standard "Congratulations." She didn't ask how far along I was, when I was due, or anything else.

I am the youngest of 3 and definitely her least favorite child, but we are still pretty close and this will be her first grandchild. So I'm bummed. She said she had a feeling that I was pregnant anyway so I don't think shock is an explanation. What else could it be? Anyone else have an unexcited parent story?

 

[heychrissie]

It might not be that she's not happy, just some people don't know how to react or feel about it, maybe? My dad gave us the standard congratulations I think, but occasionally will bring up baby stuff to me (which doesn't sound overly thrilled but is far more than I expected from him as he's not an overly affectionate person). Likewise I've had similar from more extended relatives who have then either warmed to the idea or ended up more chatty.
Either way, I hope she's happy for you - but don't let it bother you too much if she's not - she may have other reasons for concern like being worried about you with morning sickness etc x

 

[lauraairving]

Me and my mum are very close. When I told her I was pregnant with my first she didn't speak to me for 3 weeks. She absolutely adores my son and was at his birth. I guess it just takes them time to adjust. She's been a lot better with this one but she's still a bit off with me x

 

[suze12]

My mum didn't react, not even a congratulations. She just said, I didn't think you'd have anymore! That was it! 😕 xxx

 

[jessicaftl]

My story is a bit different, as I'm close with my dad, he is like a best friend (I don't speak with my mother anymore). When I told him I was pregnant he didn't speak to me until the next day and confessed that he was so shocked and worried that it would be so difficult for me in my situation (I have a nine month old and a eight year old, in the middle of buying a house, stressful etc). After he thought about it he was definitely a lot happier.
I would try not to put much stock into it and she's probably in shock! If you're happy about it, that's what counts

 

[mommyhopeful2]

When I got prego with my DS back in 2011, my mother actually asked me if I had considered abortion. I was 18 at the time.
My dad just said "thanks for having the balls to tell me." lol

 

[3babesforme]

this is my third baby.

pregnancy #1- i was 20 years old and my mom was pissed when my now-hubby (then boyfriend) told her. she got over relatively fast.

pregnancy #2- i was 21, baby was only 5 months old when i found out i was pregnant. and it was planned. she wasn't pissed but she was more of a "wow"

pregnancy #3- this pregnancy, a few weeks ago. 25 years old. did not have a happy reaction. she literally said "congrats, i guess?"

i don't understand my mom sometimes. she is really weird about certain things. we are super close but i dont get her sometimes.

 

[5Miracles]

DH and I have known each other for 21 years, been married for 14, and DH has made it clear to his family he and I want several kids. We were married for 7 years when we got pregnant with #2...when DH told his dad, his dad's first reply was "Was this baby planned?"

Uh, no dearest FIL!-- After 7 years, I got your son drunk, took advantage--just so I could stick him with a 2nd child...

 

[xforuiholdonx]

No one has really ever been overly thrilled for us because of our ages. Our first was born the day before my 18th, our second a week before my 21st, and our third is due in like 8 days? (I'm now 23, almost 24). So it's been this way every pregnancy. My mom is quick to get over it.. His mom however goes on and on about 'who's getting snipped as we don't need anymore kids' and how 'it should be me because I'll already be in the hosp anyway' like lady, SCREW YOU. No we do not want anymore children, but maybe I want to do egg donation later on? Maybe I don't feel I need any more scars or pain after birth? Maybe I can't afford the extra days in the hospital nor do I have proper help at home with how much DH works and she's freaking useless. Makes me so angry.

 

[HappyWife90]

DH and I have known each other for 21 years, been married for 14, and DH has made it clear to his family he and I want several kids. We were married for 7 years when we got pregnant with #2...when DH told his dad, his dad's first reply was "Was this baby planned?"

Uh, no dearest FIL!-- After 7 years, I got your son drunk, took advantage--just so I could stick him with a 2nd child...

Thanks, gave me a good chuckle! Props to you for putting up with that!

 

[HappyWife90]

Oh my goodness, ladies! Some of these are pretty rough! Thank you so much for sharing. I'll hold on to hope that she'll warm to the idea for now. But if not, it sounds like you all are doing just fine without grandparent support bubbling over.

 

[MoBaby]

When I told my mom the first thing she said was you think you'll keep this one? Since I have a history of miscarriage. Not congrats or I'm happy for you etc. then later she said she was excited.

 

[MoBaby]

Oh with my first pregnancy she asked who else I told first and why she wasn't the first to know. Then she went and probed my sister about my ob history who knew I had miscarriages but I hadn't told my mom and my sister told her. Then she wanted to know what was wrong with me and why I didn't tell her I had been pregnant before and just being ride and nasty. She finally said congrats. But it was after I told her that if she was going to call it better be to ask how I'm feeling or how my dr appt went, not to yell at me or try to make me feel bad for not telling her my entire life story. I told her it's time for her to be happy. And I told her at like 5w6d so I wasn't like that far along. Only two other people knew

 

[krulci]

We had this a few times. With our first, my brother announced seconds before we did, and because he's her favorite, she was too stressed (about which birth to attend) to celebrate. She pretty much wouldn't talk about the pregnancy until I was 20+ weeks. With our second, I brought her to an ultrasound (I was having complications) and she said she wouldn't get excited until we knew the baby was safe... And then wasn't altogether comforting when the baby passed. With our third/fourth, she mumbled "oh... good..." when I showed her the positive pregnancy test. It was only when we found out we were having twins that she got excited. Of course, when the second baby passed, she only had questions about what was wrong with me. 🙄 Now that I'm pregnant for the fourth time with the fifth (and maybe sixth) baby, we are waiting to tell her. It's easier to imagine she WOULD support us rather than KNOW that she only has negative things to say. Does that make sense?

Anyways, I'm really sorry that this happened to you, as well. I think some people miss the significance of the announcement, but seem to usually come around. (My mom adores my kids, now!)

 

[MissCassie]

My mum..

Congratulations. But your father and i arent getting excited until its more real and youve been to a scan and everything is ok...

Lol thanks

 

[HappyWife90]

My mum..

Congratulations. But your father and i arent getting excited until its more real and youve been to a scan and everything is ok...

Lol thanks

Yeah, thanks for the support and confidence! Lol. Well congratulations to you!!

 

[HappyWife90]

Oh with my first pregnancy she asked who else I told first and why she wasn't the first to know. Then she went and probed my sister about my ob history who knew I had miscarriages but I hadn't told my mom and my sister told her. Then she wanted to know what was wrong with me and why I didn't tell her I had been pregnant before and just being ride and nasty. She finally said congrats. But it was after I told her that if she was going to call it better be to ask how I'm feeling or how my dr appt went, not to yell at me or try to make me feel bad for not telling her my entire life story. I told her it's time for her to be happy. And I told her at like 5w6d so I wasn't like that far along. Only two other people knew

It's good to see you stuck up for yourself! I hate all the gossipy garbage that is coming along with this too. Makes me wonder what my sister has blurbed to my mother by now .. lol.

 

[MissCassie]

My mum..

Congratulations. But your father and i arent getting excited until its more real and youve been to a scan and everything is ok...

Lol thanks

Yeah, thanks for the support and confidence! Lol. Well congratulations to you!!

Yep! Its like thanks for the vote of confidence. Haha

Congratulations to you too

 

[USAF_WIFE]

My mom and family have always been excited and over the moon about each baby even this 4th which was unplanned but very muvh wanted and loved at this point. My MIL however has never been excited or offered congrats on any of our pregnancies and was only excited for my son after the gender reveal.. this time when we told her.. her response to my husband was you need to get fixed.

 

[MindUtopia]

I think this is pretty common (if not normal, if you know what I mean). The first thing mine said was "Are you okay? Was this planned?" It sort of made me feel as if I was a 16 year old who might not in any way have wanted to have a child! No offense to the young mums on here, but I was a 32 year old married professional and our daughter was very much planned. I think it was just the first thing that came out of her mouth. Now, even today she still talks about how I shouldn't have another (I think a lot of that comes from how difficult she found parenting to be, so it's projecting her own insecurities onto me, even though I'm doing great), but she loves our daughter and is a very involved, supportive grandparent. I think just give it time and try not to take it too personally right as she probably didn't mean for it to come across that way even when it did and was hurtful. My friend's MIL, when they sat them down to tell them, just said, "I thought you looked like you put on weight, but what happened? I thought you didn't want anymore"