Painful Sex! Please Help!

[Jenn2722]

This is a lot of tmi.. But SO and I just tried to have sex! He couldn't even put his head in without hurting me! He tried to inch his way in but the deeper he went the more of burning & pain was getting stronger! We tried preseed and still couldn't enter.. I was told in 2011 that I have a muscle disease in my area! That it strinks my muscles & makes them very tight! And we haven't had sex in a month, so my muscles got really tight! I went to the doctor a year an half ago and got numbing cream & that didn't work at all... Soo.. I was wondering if anyone else has this problem or something like it... I just don't know how we are gonna TTC if he can't enter me without pain! Please help, don't run!

 

[ohbananas]

Not overly helpful but might it be a psychological thing?

https://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/painfulintercourse.htm

 

[Jenn2722]

I'm sorry, It's not in my head! A doctor told me I had something wrong with my muscles down there! Heard it from 2 OB/GYNS... But thanks for the in put!

 

[NSGARCIA]

Hey hun I'm sorry for your troubles. Have your doctor's ever thought about prescribing a mild muscle relaxer?

 

[tootyfruity]

Hi. I have/had that. It's called vaginsmus. Where ur muscles go into spasm involuntary. It took ages to get help. i had to start with small vibrater type things and get bigger when i could. Also what helped was stimulating myself while having sex (Sorry tmi) anyway it was still difficult when we were ttc but o now have a son. And I feel normal after giving birth! Anymore questions plz ask x

 

[Belle Shine]

Sounds very disheartening for you Hun, is there any type of 'massaging' you can do of the area to loosen the muscles a bit? Is it possible there is still a slight psychological element making it that bit worse for you? As you know there is a medical reason for it, then it may mean you tense up that little bit more when trying? I'm in no way of medical profession and a trip back to the doctors seems the best thing. Are there any support groups online for it? I hope you can't find some way to make sex more enjoyable for you both xxx

 

[CKJ]

Yup I have it, the numbing cream did help a little bit but had to use it for months b4 trying to conceive #1, having had a baby it has improved but it hasn't gone n now thanks to scar tissue from being cut sex can still b uncomfy n I can't go for long...somehow my hubby now lasts longer (I know who else bloody complains about that?!!) n I have to admit now we r trying for #2 I'm actually feeling 'please lets get pg straight off so we don't have to have too much penetrative sex!' It sucks n after baby 2 (nature willing) I'm determined to get it properly sorted but didn't see much point b4 as birth will prob bugger it up again! All I can say is keep with the numbing cream, hav sex little n often (so not for long periods of time) n get as naturally lubed up as possible! Really really sympathise xxx

 

[Jenn2722]

Yup I have it, the numbing cream did help a little bit but had to use it for months b4 trying to conceive #1, having had a baby it has improved but it hasn't gone n now thanks to scar tissue from being cut sex can still b uncomfy n I can't go for long...somehow my hubby now lasts longer (I know who else bloody complains about that?!!) n I have to admit now we r trying for #2 I'm actually feeling 'please lets get pg straight off so we don't have to have too much penetrative sex!' It sucks n after baby 2 (nature willing) I'm determined to get it properly sorted but didn't see much point b4 as birth will prob bugger it up again! All I can say is keep with the numbing cream, hav sex little n often (so not for long periods of time) n get as naturally lubed up as possible! Really really sympathise xxx

I'm really glad I'm not alone in this! I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow with my OB/GYN to talk about it alone with getting on Clomid.... Cause I haven't o'ed in 2 to 3 months! My cervix is hard, firm, closed, and moist pretty much all the time... I have only felt it get soft, open, high, wet once and hubby was gone for that so we didn't get to try! But I'm out of the numbing cream, gonna see if I can do anything else! And we don't have sex a lot, and I don't think I tense up! We are trying for number 2 but not really... Cause with me, if I try to hard then I don't get pregnant! Soo... Just trying to stay relaxed.. Just wish the tightens goes away... And we don't have sex for a long time either, cause I simply can't last that long! And this tightens happened after my first child, cause I was doing those exercises for down there! Can't think of the name with it...

 

[CKJ]

I know it kills but little n often really does help loosen things up a little! Lol my midwife (in middle of labour!!) goes 'my god I have never seen pelvic floor muscles so tight, we'll hav to cut u' it's hard to get anyone to listen, I did get to see a gynaecologist b4 baby no.1 but he reckoned he could only see slight evidence of vaginsmus (they've changed the name I think n it's not just tightening for me it's a patch of ultra sensitive skin, tho that's improved since b4 semen stung like a bitch n that's no longer a prob. Good luck!! Xx

 

[Jenn2722]

I know it kills but little n often really does help loosen things up a little! Lol my midwife (in middle of labour!!) goes 'my god I have never seen pelvic floor muscles so tight, we'll hav to cut u' it's hard to get anyone to listen, I did get to see a gynaecologist b4 baby no.1 but he reckoned he could only see slight evidence of vaginsmus (they've changed the name I think n it's not just tightening for me it's a patch of ultra sensitive skin, tho that's improved since b4 semen stung like a bitch n that's no longer a prob. Good luck!! Xx

Holy... I can't imagine getting cut down there.. That would really hurt, specially when I do natural births.. No meds at all, only IV fluids if need be!! Soo.. I gotta find a way to stretch myself out before baby number 2 comes.. And the time before last night, it hurt but was able to get in.. And the semen didn't burn it was just when he was stretching me out, that burned, and it felt like he was ripping me open.. So I told him to stop!! Poor guy went to bed with blue balls!! I know TMI... And can I ask what does a midwife do? I hear about them all the time and never found out what they actually do.. And are they better to have the a ob?? Cause I would love to do a water birth... Just something different and more relaxing then my first time around... My first time around I had my doctor yell at me, nurses being rude and not listening to me.. And a boyfriend that wasn't even in the room supporting me.. But you better believe he was there to cut the cord like a champ and like he was there the whole damn time.. OOOooo.. That still burns... Sorry, got a little off track...

 

[CKJ]

I'm in the uk so even if we choose a hospital birth rather than a midwife led centre, we only the Dr (or ob) if there's something wrong, the midwifes are basically nurses trained specifically in the art of midwifery/child birth. If u are in the us and wanting natural support, you'd prob be better looking for a Doula xx

 

[Jenn2722]

I'm in the uk so even if we choose a hospital birth rather than a midwife led centre, we only the Dr (or ob) if there's something wrong, the midwifes are basically nurses trained specifically in the art of midwifery/child birth. If u are in the us and wanting natural support, you'd prob be better looking for a Doula xx

What's a Doula?? I'm not up to these new terms in pregnancies.. And I'm young, I should know about this stuff.. I feel soo out of place.. LOL

 

[CKJ]

Lol a doula is like a non medically trained birthing expert who helps women have the most natural birth possible but they aren't cheap!

 

[Jenn2722]

Lol a doula is like a non medically trained birthing expert who helps women have the most natural birth possible but they aren't cheap!

That sucks.... I would love a homebirth, but don't see that happening!! Darn!!

 

[CKJ]

I like the idea of the extra support but I was in agony from the v start, for me it's a case of bring on the drugs!! Don't think a doula would approve hehe

 

[Jenn2722]

I like the idea of the extra support but I was in agony from the v start, for me it's a case of bring on the drugs!! Don't think a doula would approve hehe

I'm old fashion... I don't do pain pills during labor.. And my labor was off and on for 5 months.. And then the final labor was 9 hours.. I would like the extra support too.. Cause hubby, isn't good with blood and that kind of stuff.. And plus if I had a home birth then I wouldn't have to worry about having a sitter for my oldest..