Panorama programme on IVF

[Helen]

I don't know whether any of you watched it last night.

What I shouldn't do, is ever read the comments from all the ignorant people out there who post on the BBC website. https://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/th...art=0&edition=1&ttl=20070116184350&#paginator

It appalls me how totally lacking in understanding people can be when it comes to infertility.

 

[Arcanegirl]

It really angers me to read those comments, i honestly am lost for words what to say! But i do agree wiht you Helen at how they lack an understanding of infertility.

 

[sophie]

Im shocked at the comments. Arrogant people!

I recorded this prog so i will be watchin in a min.
Ive seen what its like for a couple to go through IVF and i know how heartbreakin it can be!
Thankfully they have 2 beatiful babies now twins like u Helen boy and a girl!
X

 

[Caroline]

Didn't read past the first page cos don't want to get my bp too high, but did you notice a high % were men who posted. I know its not the same but they get viagra on the nhs and thats not life or death either is it. I can't understand the mentality of people who make these comments either they conceived naturally and just don't understand or haven't got children and still don't understand. I wonder if it were them in the situation if they would still feel the same.

 

[Wobbles]

Obviously many who have never experienced the journey of infertility or alike!

Cheeky f'ing gits!

 

[ImTheDaddy]

I wouldn't pay any attention to people ignorant of the issues.

It's easy to get annoyed and irritated about something when you are in a position of experience or additional information.

Don't let people annoy you, it's your life and you know what it's like.

(Don't mean to piss anyone off with this message!)

 

[Helen]

(Don't mean to piss anyone off with this message!)

You didn't. I guess it just saddens me that people can't understand what it might be like to be in those shoes.

 

[stephlw25]

Bloody hell, totally shocked by those comments!

 

[fluppyfrog]

I didn't bother going past the first page, at the end of the day no body has the right to tell me i don't deserve to have my own baby. I know there are loads of children out there who need adopting, and maybe if the ivf doesn't work out i may consider adoption, but i know if i don't atleast give IVF a shot i will regret it for the rest of my life.

 

[Wobbles]

48 pages anyway Fluppy an your right - I just find it laughable when people comment so harshly on something they wouldn't have a bloody clue about!

 

[Iwantone!!!]

then msgs are so harsh !!!

 

[gaby]

I dont know much about IVF or infertility, but i'm so p'd off with those comments!!! Every couple should be given the change to have a normal pregnancy!

if you cannot have children naturally it is unfortunate but does not make relationships incomplete

For some people it does! Why can't they understand this? Seems like most of those people who posted are probably career orientated ppl who dont care about children at all.

Provided the people who want this pay for it privately who cares. What we should not be doing is funding this over-priced treatment for what can only be described as a non life threatening or debilitating ailment, through the NHS. If ever there was a waste of money in the NHS this is it, trying to over populate an already over populated world just to make some selfish people happy. Nature has a way of controlling the birth rate, and this is it.

Erm, they obviously dont know viagra is available on the NHS. Either that, or they need it (was a guy)


I'm not sure though if it should be available on the NHS though. Maybe after say 2, 3 years trying, and maybe only one try at it. Because ultimately, NHS resources aren't enough as it is. But i just wish those ppl would try to be a bit more informed before they comment.

 

[Wobbles]

I just thought it was a group of people whos opinions would change if ever put in the same situation them selves personally.

Always the way in this world people are quick to open their gobs until its THEM in a situation they never thought was possible.

 

[Helen]

I think that's absolutely true Wobbles. No-one ever thinks that they will be infertile.

I don't think I ever thought that my relationship was incomplete without children, I think that would be a rather sad reflection on your relationship. At the end of the day, once they've left home it's just the two of you again and you need to be comfortable with each other as a couple.

My problem with the whole infertility thing seemed to hang round me questionning what my purpose in life actually was and why was I there. I felt that I was destined to become a mother and to then find I wasn't able to (or rather that there was a good possibility that I would never become a mother) shook me to my core. Even with all the counselling I had, we never quite worked that point through to a conclusion. All the things that people say like "oh well, without children you'll be able to have a great house, nice car, fancy holidays..." well, yeah, but that all seemed rather shallow and pointless.

As for the NHS, I think the biggest problem in relation to infertility is the time it takes to see anyone. You are already a year or two into TTC before you seek help and then every appointment on the NHS is a 6 month wait and then a 3 year wait for IVF is crazy. Every month that goes by is damaging to your psychological health not to mention the effect of time on your fertility.

I'd like to see IVF available as a consistent service across the country with equal (and shorter) waiting times throughout, but at some point a decision needs to be made on the odds of success. I'm full of admiration for couples who are able to put themselves through it 6, 7, 8, 9 times, because it's pretty dreadful but someone needs to take a decision that it can't go on anymore.

As for self-funding, I felt pretty aggrieved as someone who had carefully saved money to allow me to take more time off work or to pay towards the baby that I was having to use this money in order to get PG in the first place. It is phenomenally expensive (over £5k in our case per go) that I would like to see some combined contribution on both parts. For instance, in other local PCTs, they fund the drugs (£800 ish) if you fund the treatment. Not so in our PCT, yet that gesture would have gone a long way for us.

 

[Tam]

I hope I word this right

I think that people take a very dim view about infertility.......don't get me wrong I have no idea what someone goes thru as I am lucky enough not to have experienced it, but surely to a certain degree, it is a form of disability, because in an "ideal" world, a "woman" would be able to mother a child? Therefore, why shouldn't it be funded by the NHS.........you pay your money into the NHS the same as everyone else, and for all anyone knows, this could be or may be the only treatment you ever need from the NHS, and if not, so what?!!!

At the very least so it is not able to be abused, then the NHS should come up with 50% of the costs and have special clinics dedicated to this in the hope that treatment can be offered more widely, rather than one or two appointments a year before you even start! (That shocked the hell out of me!)

But those people's who's views I read in the BBC link are just pig ignorant and will make comments without even tyring to put themselves into someone elses shoes.......these people are not worth a second thought!!!! As long as they are OK and their little lives are OK, why should they care about other people? But what would their views be if they found one day they really wanted or needed something and was told "NO do it yourself, oh and by the way it could take years"?.......They would very quickly be singing a different tune!

I hope I had worded all that OK...... x