Paranoid - wish people would understand

[pinkbutterfly]

Hi Ladies
Hope you don't mind me posting this here. As mummies to premmies I think you'll understand.
Im pregnant with baby no2, DS was born at 34+5 and had to stay in neonatel for just over a week. (this is very lucky i no and we were extremely lucky he done so well)
Sorry for tmi but i had bleeding with clots from 30 weeks pregnant and was in and out of hospital like a yoyo with no explanation giving then at 34+5 went into labour.
This time round I am so paranoid and nobody seems to understand. I am trying not to worry about it but it is in the back of my mind all the time.
The chances are 50/50 of the same thing happening but I have always felt since DS it was my body unable to carry full term so am expecting it to happen again.
I have tried to explain this to people and want to everything to be prepared for baby by the time im 30 weeks (2 weeks away) so if it does happen again i don't need to panic.
Is this wrong of me?
Everyone keeps saying "stop thinking about it" , "it wont happen again", "you need to think past this" etc and its driving me mad, i just wish someone would understand my fear.
Not only am i scared for the baby but also the fact that i now have DS to think about too.
Sorry for the rant
xxx

 

[emaritska]

Hi Hun, sorry to hear of the difficulties last time
It's totally normal to be soooo paranoid, after all for many of us it's the only experience we have of childbirth etc, and even if its not, it's so scary it tends to take over our thoughts! I have been lucky in that both my previous babies although preemies were not too early (36 and 34 weeks) and both healthy albeit a 2week scbu stay for the 34weeker. This time round I've been super paranoid at every twinge, pain, "weird feeling" and even though she shows no signs of arriving yet, I had everything ready by 27weeks just in case!!
If anything I was bit confused when I hit 28weeks and my waters still were intact lol

If it makes you feel more secure and organised, then get everything ready, ESP with other lo to plan around there is no harm in being prepared

 

[pinkbutterfly]

Its so nice to have someone that understands and thinks along the same wave length.
Im the same with every sensation down below i think 'i god is this it starting again' and am always in the toilet checking just incase.
I really hope everyone is right and i get to at least 37 weeks but im just so on edge.
Mine and babies hospital bags are practically packed and nursery is 3/4's so hopefully we will be prepared if the same happens.
Hope you make it full term this time, so far so good xx

 

[Foogirl]

You have to think about it because you have to be prepared for the eventuality. One of the things that makes it so difficult the first time round is how unprepared we are. If we are ready for it the second time round, so much the better.

I say prepare prepare prepare. But, and this is important, don't worry about it. I think maybe people are concerned you are worried about it, nervous about it and are giving platitudes to try and set your mind at rest, which is understandable if they are your family and are concerned about you. Thank them for their concern, tell them you aren't worried, but you'd like to be prepared so if it does happen, you won't end up all in a rush. Liken it to LO being in NNICU, we're to.d expect them home on their due date and anything sooner is a bonus. Tell them you are preparing for an early birth and anything later is a bonus and you could really use their help.

I understand the fear. If I ever get there I'll be dreading every wipe too! (I had the same thing happen as you did). but please don't worry. Even if LO comes early, it all worked out ok the first time and you have every reason to be hopeful that the same outcome will happen, even if you do have a preemie. Enjoy every minute of this pregnancy. Big hugs and I'll be wishing for a big bouncing termie for you xxx

 

[pinkbutterfly]

Thank you for your understanding. I no they are only caring and probably worrying in their own way too. Just wish they would stop tellin not to worry and perhaps agree yes it is a good idea just to be organised.
It's nice to no someone who has gone through the same, you don't hear it enough and begin to feel alone with it.
I am thinking positive that if it does happen again all will be ok, as you said my DS is doing well so hopefully if it happens the next one will too.
Xxxxx

 

[likeaustralia]

I totally understand, and I'm not even pregnant again! When I was pregnant with my LO, I had everything more or less ready by 30-ish weeks. I'm just a planner/preparer by nature and I truly wasn't expecting a premature baby. I'm positive that if we have another baby, I will be exactly the same and probably more worried because of the way it happened for me before.

 

[juicyfruity]

You have to think about it because you have to be prepared for the eventuality. One of the things that makes it so difficult the first time round is how unprepared we are. If we are ready for it the second time round, so much the better

THIS! the unpreparedness is what makes it so dificult (on top of everything else). It is natural to worry in your pregnancy and it is okay to talk about your worries, lots of people dont understand or are 'afraid' of being sad etc how often do you hear dont cry, dont worry etc. it is healthy to cry and it is healthy to talk about your worries. write it down, what you are feeling is valid. If you havent had a prem it is hard for others to 'get it'. I'm not saying you should worry excessively but i am saying it is ok to talk about your worries otherwise how can your mind process them?
lots of hugs