Partner being a b*****d!

[kimberleyrobx]

As soon as i got up this morning all i've been doing is bloody housework! i ask dickhead to get out of bed and help me, i had to ask him FOUR TIMES in the space of an hour before he even moved and the forth time i told him he's like 'aw you need to wait im eating!' fucking EATING! here's me downstairs with my belly rumbling like crazy trying to get the housework all done so i can sit and relax, and hes upstairs living the fucking vida loca! by the time he brings his arse downstairs i've already done everything! the only bloody thing ive asked him to do today is hang the washing out and it took another hour before he bloody done it so by the time it actually got out on the line it started raining 15 minutes later, hes too busy playing bloody PS3 games when i ask him to bring it in and he tells me to do it! and when i say ive done everything today he calls ME an arsehole and everything else under the sun! i was doing heavy stuff and lifting a lot of heavy things today which i shouldnt be because im pregnant, and he calls me names! if i put the washing out and i ask him to bring it in, he tells me no because 'you put it out, you bring it in!' DOES HE ACTUALLY REALIZE HE HAS RESPONSIBILITIES?! my feet were killing me and my back was aching so badly by the time i was done! i just went upstairs and went to sleep, and i still dont feel any better now! just needed a really big rant before i bite his head off, worthless b*****d!

 

[DadInTraining]

First: Read my post in "Unsupportive DH"

Then get a golf club and bend it around his head. I'm sorry but he sounds like a real asshole. I'm doing everything I can to help my wife. I know she's in pain and feels like hell. I'll be damned if I'm gonna let her lift anything heavy. Hell, I don't want her to go the market by herself!

Someone needs to talk, or knock, some sense into that champ of yours. I'm sorry that you're going through this and please know that someone in California is sending all the positivity he can to you, wherever you are. Hang in there and rant away.

Or you could go with the golf club thing...

 

[kimberleyrobx]

Oh dont tempt me! i kicked him out the house a few months ago and he came crawling back telling me 'he'd change' and he'd be a better dad blah blah blah, everything was ok for a week or two and now we're right back where we left off! should have known better than to trust him to change, nothing has changed!

 

[DadInTraining]

Then I'd say go get yourself a golf club.

He sounds incredibly immature. I don't know how old he is so there may be hope he'll grow up. I'm 35 and didn't start really becoming an adult until my 30's.

But video games? Come on, man! Grow the eff up and help your partner. Maybe have him read the following:

YOU ARE NO LONGER A CHILD. YOU HAVE ONE AND ANOTHER ONE THE WAY. YOU ARE, AT LEAST PHYSICALLY, A MAN NOW. START BEHAVING LIKE ONE. AND REMEMBER THE QUOTE: "WHEN I WAS A CHILD I PLAYED WITH CHILDISH THINGS...WHEN I BECAME MAN I DID AWAY WITH CHILDISH THINGS." ASSH*LE.

Hang in there.

 

[kimberleyrobx]

Thanks for your replies, and he is 20. some days he can be okay and actually manage to stay off my bad list, but today has totally taken too far, and a lot of other days! the bad days weigh out the good by a lot, there will definitely be no more games and computers once this baby is born, i hope he knows what he's in for 'cause so far he hasnt showed to be much help!

 

[DadInTraining]

Yeah, he's still a kid himself. But you know what? Time to grow the bleep up!!!

He needs to snap out of it before he loses what, he will realize in time, are the only things that truly matter in life: you and your children.

 

[Amber4]

so sorry you were treated that way. Must be something in the air as my OH told me he's moving out ASAP this morning. I'm not bothered one single bit tbh xx

 

[wellsk]

I think if I were you I'd stop doing his cleaning, so don't clean his clothes, leave them wherever he drops them. Don't cook for him if you cook. And basically don't do any of the things that would help him. He'll soon realise how much work you have to do!

 

[060509.x]

My OH can be like this but never as bad. Sorry your's has been such a b*****d.

 

[ClairAye]

My OH ends up doing most things.. Buuuut he expects me to do it whilst looking after his son on my own most of the day! Although lately I've been doing everything

 

[skeet9924]

kimberly - I lived with a man like that...luckily i got out before we had children because he sat on his arse played video games all day and smoked weed. he now has a new girlfriend which he has a kid with and apparently does the same thing. I'm not saying you need to leave him as that will be your choice when the time comes however you do need to have a talk with him and take a deep breath try not to turn it into a yelling match because that will get you no where. The one strategie that i did do that helped me with my ex because talking never did work because he was always too stoned...I just stoped doing anything for him. When I cooked dinner I did it for me. When i did laundry I did only mine etc. It took a lot of self restraint ( because the house became a mess) but I only took care of myself and my dog of course. Eventually he snapped and was crazily asking my why I wasnt doing anything for him..I just told him you wont help me I wont help you...he helped for a little bit

 

[skeet9924]

oh and I do agree with the golf club thing

 

[AP]

Threads merged, duplicate posting is not permitted.

 

[kimberleyrobx]

thanks for replying everyone, just needed a good rant:/ ive sat and talked to him and he's apologized, think i was just having a really bad day bottling things up too long, was good to get it off my chest! x

 

[kimberleyrobx]

Threads merged, duplicate posting is not permitted.

thanks, i wasnt sure where to post it! x

 

[Dibbles]

Glad it's sorted

Now that you're both at peace maybe you could make a list together where you tell him you're not strong enough to do x,y,z (ego boost for him here) and if he would please do it. Make sure it's something he does everyday so that he doesn't forget. IF he does forget just ignore it, he will see the mess and fix it eventually. He will know what's expected of him and it'll be easier on both of you that way.

Some men take the initiative on their own, help around the house, know how they can be useful. But most younger men are useless at that sort of thing. So if you set clear jobs and stop expecting him to just lend a hand or notice that you're struggling it'll be easier on both of you

Hope that helps! Wish you a HH pregnancy ^.^

 

[kimberleyrobx]

thanks, he only moved out from his parents house when he was 19 and whilst living with them they practically wiped his bum for him, they done everything! i suppose it will take him a bit of time to get used to having to do things for himself, its so overwhelming sometimes:/

 

[twice unlucky]

Throw him out the house and tell him to fuck off. you sound like a tough gal whos looking after herself anyway. and for when u do throw his annoying ass out congrats n happy 9 months x