Partner is a cheat!

[Lara18]

I dunno wat to do, just found out my fiancee has been cheating on me. I found some emails from girls, he's even a member of one of these dating sites and he's been asking girls for sex and to meet up, telling them he's single and stuff. When I first started sifting through all the sordid stuff I just went cold and clammy all over and could'nt stop shaking. Im a bit calmer now though, have called him already and he thinks im blowing this out out of proporstion(SP) and being hippocritical, cos i cheated on him a month into our a year and a bit long relationship. I just dont know how he can do this to me, im bloody pregnant with his child and he's off doing god knows what with god only knows who, probs catching all sorts whilst he's at it. Im just so angry and hurt atm, he eventually realised why i was so upset and has said he is really soz and it wont happen again but i dunno if i can take him back after this, i mean maybe if i were'nt preggo and if it was'nt so disgusting, involving the internet and all, then i properly would take him back but jeez i just feel so lost. Any sort of advice would help ladies, thanks i didnt know who else to turn to. xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[miel]

do you have a family member who could help you out ? you need to take your time figure out all the feeling you are having right now . you have the right to be upset and mad...but you need to turn to someone you trust and can i have confidence on. wishing the best outcome for you and your bump
keep us posted ...

 

[Wobbles]

Wouldn't touch his willy again sweety without holding his hand to get tested! YAK

I couldn't put up with it. Do you have a close relative to give you some better advice? Someone who knows you both

Sorry to be blunt above but ...

x

 

[faith_may]

I'm sorry to hear this

 

[PINKDIAMOND]

If it was me and i found out that my o/h had been cheating then i would dump him! and i would dump him fast! and i wouldnt even consider for half a second about takeing him back.If he cheats once then chances are he would probably most definately do it again!. Even if he didnt, once is enough in my book. I could never learn to trust him again.
I know that with you being pregnant with his baby makes it even worse.
With him cheating on you while your pregnant means that he has none or very little respect for you and just because you cheated on him doesnt make it right for him to do the same to you.
I know that your probably feeling really let down at the moment and youre probably not thinking straight so here is my advice,,,
Take some time out for yourself, help clear your head, find someone who you can confide in and then go from there.
I hope you get things sorted out soon.

 

[jinnie75]

Hi Lara, so sorry to hear what you are going through...I couldn't think of anything worse right now. If I were you I'd get rid of him fast...he ain't no good for you..as his actions clearly show he can't truly care for you by doing this. As for him saying you are over reacting....tell him to grow up and pi*** off!! You'll get through it..wiser and stronger!!
All the best x

 

[jljwf04]

Im sooo sorry hun I have to agree with everyone here he is no good for you or your baby. You need to go and talk to someone you trust that can help you through this and make the right decisions. I hope everything comes out ok.

 

[loopylew]

i agree with the others hun, my cousins boyf cheated on her whilst she was pregnant and they stayed together "for the sake of the baby" and it ended up being really bad and they seperated in the end. You deserve better hun xx

 

[snowflake]

Hi,

Once again I have to agree with everyone else - he is a rotter and a louser and HOW DARE he originally think that you were blowing things out of proportion. I got really angry reading your post. I know it's a very hard thing to do considering you are carrying his child and you obviously have feelings for him but the best thing you can do is dump him! I think it's absolutely disgusting and unforgiveable for him to cheat on you and especially that you are pregnant.

Have you ever heard of the expression 'what's meant for you won't go by you'? Well if the two of you are meant to be together, then things will work themselves out in time but for the moment DUMP HIM!

 

[tinytoes]

not sure if i agree with the others or not. I agree you need some time out, but dont burn your bridges. He's been asking for sex...but did he do the deed?

And involving the internet doesnt make it any worse than going up to girls in a bar in my book...in fact it makes it less bad....maybe if it was all just talk? I mean, maybe he wouldnt have really dared to do anything? People can be who they want in an email...but it really depends on if he's been meeting the girls.

Take time out, talk to him....maybe he needs a big think about exactly what he's doing!!! Perhaps it's just been an online game. A game that isnt acceptable but that isnt quite full sex...
Men can be fools. They take a long time to grow up sometimes...a long to time realise what they really want..


I'm not saying to forgive him, or to dump him, just to take your time. This is horrid. Dont react suddenly. Go stay with family for a while.
Good luck

 

[Lauren-x]

It's completely upto you. But if I found out my boyfriend had been doing that [well I don't have one anymore..] I would drop him straight away because he's not been emailing one and asking, he's been asking many and you deserve better. And if he forgave you for cheating on him he shouldn't be using that as a 'get away with it' card because he choose to forgive you.

 

[Jules]

Has he actually slept with anyone else? As Wobbles said if he has you need to get yourself down to your nearest GUM clinic.

I don't agree with him going on websites etc i wouldn't like it if i caught my OH doing it!

Things have changed since you cheated on him that was over a year ago at the very start of your relationship, you are both bringing a child into this world now he needs to grow up if thats his excuse.

As others have advised i would have some time apart for a little while get your thoughts together on what you want to do, you might find it hard to trust him again and you need that in a relationship!

 

[anita665]

I really feel for you. Can't really give you any advise as it's a difficult situation and only you know what you want to do but I CAN'T STAND CHEATS!!!!

 

[Lara18]

I didnt sleep wid anyone else, was just a couple of kisses and a bit of a feel. He has met two women (22 and 27) from the site and had sex with them (wid condoms he says) and was planning to meet another woman (33) next weekend when he was surposed to be working late in Brighton. Im at my Mums and I just cant talk to him at the moment, i have a doc's appointment 2moz morning, if that lieing lil shit has given me anything I swear to god that he will no longer have the appartus needed to cheat. I just never anticipated doing this alone, im only 18. I was planning on him being there. Thanks everyone for the advice xxxxxxxx

 

[babe2ooo]

awww hunny i'm sooo sorry but only you know wot 2 do, if you love him and can work it out then great but if you can't just end it,dont be with some one you cant trust xx

 

[babe2ooo]

if hes had sex with 2 others women then i would get rid he is not worth it at all

 

[Jules]

I wouldn't be able to forgive him, its not like he has done it once and it was a stupid mistake, he has done it twice and was arranging to do it the third time!

Stay at your mums and dont speak to him until you've decided what your going to do, let him suffer for a bit!

 

[doctordeesmrs]

Nobody can tell you what to do in this situation just follow your heart. I really hope that things work out for you and bump. It upset me to think what you are going through. You don't deserve this.

 

[nikkybaby]

I am so sorry. I got so angry reading your post. I had a boyfriend who cheated on me twice, and I didn't find out until the end of our relationship (i say the end, because that's when I ended it). You deserve so much better. Raising a child on your own can be difficult, but you have family that can support you. There is no need to raise your beautiful child in an environment where there is no trust because he can't keep his sh*t in his pants.
Do what you feel is best for you and your baby. Honestly, I would be done with him. It will make you stronger in the end.

 

[Ann-Marie]

I have to agree with the majority. Say goodbye now, don't forgive him and enable him to do it over again. Think of it as you gaining the independance to find someone who deserves you, and enjoy the time you'll have with your new baby. Don't think of it as losing him, he walked away the second he entertained the idea of being with someone else, he's the loser !!
Take Care xx