PCOS and feeling depressed :(

[Hannah1029]

Hey ladies,

So I was diagnosed with PCOS a few months back after experiencing issues conceiving and having irregular periods...

When I was diagnosed with PCOS I cried for about 6 days straight I know I should be grateful that that's the only thing wrong with me but I honestly feel like an outcast. Like there's a special club that I will never be a part of.

I started letrozole for the first time this cycle and I started out very optimistic after reading so many success stories.

I ovulated on CD 19 (Or at least I got a positive OPK on cd 19) and I am now in my TWW. But as I read stories of other women with PCOS and their long TTC journeys (some lasting 5+ years) I begin to feel very discouraged and start thinking that maybe this is just the beginning of a very long disappointing road.. I want nothing more than to be a mommy to a precious little boy or girl and it hurts to think that it just may never happen for me.

Depression is quite common with PCOS, but it seems to just knock me down when I least expect it.

I haven't told my husband about my diagnosis yet either because I don't want him to think I'm incompetent or to pity me...

I'm only 20 years old and I apologize if I sound ungrateful or whiny because I know there are women out there who have it a million times worse than me and still manage to be optimistic and keep their head up, but for some reason, it's extremely hard for me to do the same.

I could really use some support from some of you strong ladies

 

[SmotherMe13x]

I can relate in a lot of ways... I have

I'm 23, have depression and anxiety. My husband and I have been trying for almost 2 1/2 years for a baby of our own.

This year I've been diagnosed with PCOS and a under active thyroid. While my thyroid is now under control I still haven't been able to get anything done towards helping conceiving with PCOS. The only thing given so far was Metforman and that hasn't helped. Thought I've read that it doesn't help a lot of woman get pregnant. Just sometimes helps with weight.

In July I finally became pregnant for a very short time.. Ended in a Chemical Pregnancy. Now four months later, I'm feeling the same as I did in July and a little more symptoms than I did.. Took a test this afternoon and it was definitely BFN.

I honestly feel terrible. Since trying my cousins have had 2-3 babies, my sister in laws had a baby, all my childhood best friends.

:/ I seen an Endocrinologist then end of January and if they don't do anything, than my GP will refer me to an infertility specialist in hopes they will. ):

I know how hard it is to keep your head up and I definitely struggle with it as well. The only thing that can really be done is get as much help from your doctors as you can and just look forward to your future baby. :/

In the mean time if you need someone to rant to, feel free to message me on here!

 

[MKaykes]

Sorry you are feeling down. It can be hard to get a diagnosis that makes it even harder to get pregnant. I feel the same way about my diagnosis of endometriosis since it was such a surprise to me.

TTC can be a tough thing, regardless of how long it's been or how old you are.

I've seen several threads here with ladies with PCOS, so you are sure to find support here!

I wish you the best of luck overcoming your challenges TTC, and hope you don't feel alone!

 

[Hannah1029]

Thank you, ladies!

I appreciate your kind words and support more than you even know!!

 

[AngelaA6]

I'm 24 and have PCOS (depression, bipolar disorder and generalized anxiety)...haven't been trying long though... You posted on my thread and maybe read that I'm a little uncertain if I can get pregnant as well. It's hard when you have these hopes and dreams of telling your SO/OH and feel like you're coming short as a woman but you're definitely not. We can't control the fact we have this condition. My husband knew about me not being able to have kids before we got married since I was a teenager when my doc told me that I might not be able to have them but didn't tell me the reason why and let me believe it was because of my at the time eating disorder.

Maybe try to talk to your husband when you're ready? I know it's hard and you feel maybe like I did which is...well I felt like I was a broken woman. He reassured me that having a family wasn't the reason he married me. He married me for me and if we could have a family one day that's just a bonus and if not...he loves dogs just as much as I do haha.

My entire family (in-laws included, we're pretty close) all know that we're trying so the weekly if not daily I get texts asking sooooo? and me having to tell them as well it's a negative can get pretty soul crushing. I just tell myself they don't quite understand since they don't have PCOS and every case is different and not to take their flippant attitude to heart.

My SIL is pregnant (6 months and found out her boy has omphalocele ) and 2 more friends are pregnant. I see my nephew who's 10 months at least 3 times a week and my sister found out she was pregnant with him at 3 weeks after trying for a month and half and just doesn't understand why I just can't go get pregnant like her. It's definitely hard to not have a small pity party every once in awhile. It's okay to feel sad but it's also important not to just sit there with that feeling forever and try to do something to make yourself happy, even if it's just for a little while. I usually draw/paint what I'm feeling and that at least helps me get that feeling out.

Keep trying to stay positive...I know it's hard especially when sometimes you don't get the result you want. There seems to be a decent group of women here with PCOS and TTC to support us in our journey I think they understand the craziness we feel everyday. Sorry for such a long post

 

[Hannah1029]

Angela,

Thank you a million times. I needed to hear everything you just wrote me It makes me feel so much better to know I'm not alone in this crazy journey.

-Hannah

P.S. I sure hope that your HPT beomes darker and that your little bean is a sticky one!

 

[AngelaA6]

 

[Mearly12]

You can reverse you Pcos symptoms through diet change. I had super irregular periods until I started the ketogenic diet. It took 5 months for me to begin ovulating naturally, by 7 months we conceived. If you do this, and get your insulin resistance in check your Pcos symptoms will go away, and you will have the same chances as any other woman.

 

[wintersocks1]

Hey Hannah129
I just wanted to write and tell you I hear you! I have PCOS. You are definitely not alone and there is certainly hope for you and your husband to have a family. The two week wait is certainly a trial, especially at the end when there is so much hope and fear. Like Mearly said, there are also certainly things you can do to support hormonal balance through various diet, lifestyle, and supplementation. I have been able to lower my prolactin and lower my IGF a bit through diet and lifestyle. My testosterone is still a bit high and my progesterone is suboptimal, which I am working on and have to monitor when I do get pregnant. I appreciate the lifestyle and diet things because I feel like I am contributing to my wellness and healing as much as I can. I try and choose one small thing every cycle so I don't overwhelm myself. Don't forget self care either. Angela, I love your painting idea. I also want you to know, you are no less a woman because of this condition, nor do I think your husband would think so. I think he would want to support you through this, be sad with you, and work through the hard times with you, not make them harder on you by making you do it yourself. I know its kind of strange introducing partners to the TTC world and the anatomy and physiology of our bodies. I know my husband took some time understanding everything involved, but has a good grasp now, and is very supportive of me and our fertility issues. We used a lot of charts and drawings-ha! It was (and is) good for us to be able to talk about my fear of letting him down and for us to work through it. I hear you that it is hard to not get stuck thinking that, but it is totally not your fault-you did not choose this. Sometimes I need to tell my husband what I want to hear but I still appreciate it because I know he cares about me Either way, I hope your conversations with your husband go well. I feel like there should be PCOS TWW bored. Hang in there!