People criticising my birth choices

[sarah1980]

We're not going to be telling many people about our birth choices, I'm not interested in ignorant opinions...

^^^ Exactly!

The only people who know about my birth choices are my husband and midwife.

Other peoples opinions are neither wanted nor welcome!

 

[sam#3]

mhmm... we are all mad hippy types that are of course putting ourselves and our babies in danger by doing things the way nature intended -_-

 

[Kess]

I think it all goes back to the fact that people are so used to the "must go to hospital" mentality. They think that's all there is and nothing else. Kind of like a "sheep mentality", if most everyone on the herd is doing it, then it must be the thing that they need to do too. Birthing a baby is such a natural, loving moment in spite of all the "pain" that you could be going through while is happening, it will soon be all over and you feel like you have done something great when you do it naturally because you did not introduce all those nasty drugs that they give you in the hospital that who knows that they really do bottom line....

It's the idea you get given from such a young age. My Mom has three foster children, 7, 8 and 9 years old. They couldn't get their heads around my planning to have Rowan at home. It had been explained to them a couple of times, but a few days before he was born my Mom was taking one of them to the hospital for a routine appointment, and at mention of the hospital she was asked again if that would be the hospital I would be having my baby in! They're coming up to visit tomorrow, so we'll see if actually pointing out the spot in my living room where he was born will help make the idea sink in! We have photographic evidence too, as my sister was taking lots, so that might help bring the message home.

 

[cranberry987]

What do people say when they get told theyre brave etc? I usually ask why and say well ill have two mw to myself but a nice offhand funny remark would be much better. just cant think of one dammit!

 

[wigglywoo]

I usually just shrug and say that I'm doing what's best for me and then tell them all about the awful hospital birth I had with DD and that I wouldn't give birth in a hospital again if you paid me! That usually does the trick!

 

[amberlindsay7]

I'm in the very early stages of pregnancy (10 weeks), but have already stated looking into natural birthing options just out of curiosity. However, upon mentioning it to a couple of people, they have already had the comment "drug free birth; are you mad? You won't be able to take the pain and will be begging for an epidural blah blah".

I can't believe this is the reaction I have received already just after airing some views for conversation - at least from the comments here I'm now prepared for the inevitability that other peoples opinions are likely to just get worse! Tanks for a really good eye opening thread - glad we have the B&B forum for support

 

[Samantha675]

I started an upholstery class last night, and one of the teachers used to work for an OB. I am now just waiting for the ensuing OB conversation.

 

[madasa]

I think folks are "brave" to go to hospy tbh!

 

[MummyMEE]

Hi Ladies, just wondered over from 2nd tri and I would just like you all to know that I don't think you are a bunch of hippies, what you are doing is amazing, you should be very proud of yourself and ignore the stupid uninformed philistines out there. As my first child was 8 wks premature I am under obstetric care and unable to deliver at my local Birth Centre but I am still going to try for a G&A waterbirth if possible

 

[FeistyMom]

I personally choose hospital birth, but if I wasn't 100% confident that I'd have an unmedicated birth and the experience I wanted there, I would definitely prefer home birth to being forced into an experience I didn't want or need.

I am fortunate enough to know many women who have had home births - my cousin has 6 children, and all were home births. She had some complications with her last baby, and her MW was able to take care of things and get the baby the care he needed right away and without a bunch of unnecessary drama.

But what is infuriating me lately is that it isn't just friends and family who weigh in their opinions... its is insurance companies! A co-worker's wife is expecting, and is wanting a fully natural, unmedicated home birth. Even though it is significantly LESS expensive than a now 'traditional' hospital birth, the insurance company doesn't want to pay for ANYTHING. It is already frustrating enough for us to have friends, family, and practitioners telling us what to do... When in the heck did INSURANCE companies get to decide! They finally gave up on working with the insurance and are setting up a payment plan with their MW separately. Just seems an utter crock to me - especially when the statistics from around the world PROVE that home birth and unmedicated births are overall healthier for mom and baby, and reinforce how many non necessary interventions are made in US hospitals.

Sorry for the rant... Just so PO'd about the situation.

 

[Blah11]

Ive not really had any negative comments thankfully. A few 'you're brave' and 'id be to worried' comments but on the whole, i have a very supportive family and group of friends

 

[cranberry987]

someone just told me that i couldnt refuse a scan and called me hun. um... no...'hun'...

 

[silver_penny]

lol... You can refuse anything. Its your body and they can't force you to do anything. I would have told the person "Shove it, hun!"

 

[madasa]

"You can sacrifice YOUR bodily autonomy if you want to, but I'll keep mine, thanks, HUN."