People offended when you dont take their names

[Cheryl xx]

Everyone is giving me their opinion and then expecting me to say 'yes I love it' and when i don't they get offended. It's not like your naming a puppy or something though if you know what i mean. We're having a boy and i'm struggling with names to be honest. I did with Grace though and didn't name her until 2 days after she was born lol xx

How about Olivia or Charlotte? xx

 

[StillWaiting]

[
Sorry to hear about your first husband I ride motorbikes to (when not pregnant) .
You mum does sound a bit like mine, she is rather unreasonable and comes out with things poeple would think of, Very negative woman. Complains about everything, from where her spuds are on the plate to ripping my dad to pieces about the nice dinner he has prepared her because she dosnt lift a finger in the house. Says nasty things to me, i will not have her talk to me at all nothing good ever comes of it. Only so much being called stupid and huffed at I can take. Nothing pleases her,. she woudlnt ever admit she has a problem because she thinks she is perfect and we are all mad. She would make up stuff to my dad,m text me off his phone being nasty, spread rumours about me out of jealously pick on everything from appearance to what way I would be eating. You just cant be around the woman for a second! I get snapped at soon as I call my dad she takes the liberty of answering the phone just to snap of hiss at me. I stopped calling them then they stop visiting and blame me on it. Everyone has heard how she speaks to me and some have asked what her problem is as she is nice to everyone else just never me. She just sits there with a bitter twisted face on her. I have stopped going anywhere where she is like family things, she never tells me about them as she dosnt want me to go instead bitches about me at them, then when i hear poeple asking why I am not there days later they all find out it was her doing again. So i get called directly now but cant do, woudlnt be fair her throwing nasty remarks at me and me rowing on my granddad. she has me painted in a bad light even now due to my parenting.

gwizz i dont know my great grandmothers name on my dads side they where all Russian. And my grans name here was Anne which is like my name and a bit boring.

I liked Gabriella but i don't thinks my other half does.

Definitely sounds like they are related. My Grandmother was Irish. Wish I knew her maiden name. Her first name was Alice. My Mom and I don't discuss her family anymore.

Well, if you are distant cousin of mine than I'll leave you with one little suggestion which you may take or leave. Even though she is evil, she is related. Next time she goes off, look her square in the eye and say, "I'm sorry. You're right." Nothing more. For every little thing she picks on, say those same words. On FB, everyone should know the truth by now, so do the same thing. After a while she'll get tired of trying to push buttons that no longer react. Worth the experiment.

Well, I hope you find peace with her. At least you have a loving family outside of the relationship with your mother. Besides that you have more important things to dote over and dwell upon.

 

[Dragonfly]

Resorted to not speaking its so much easier really! I cant have her wind me up I feel like stabbing her and my mental health was going down the drain listening to her so of with her. She insults my son that was the step to far, puts him down all the time and just wanted a row every time she came in so i had to put a stop to it as my son was getting upset and he cant look at her still without running and crying because he associates nasty things with her. She may have done that on me all my life but she will not do that on my son! she started wars from when i was preg, she used to ignore me when i didnt live at home, i came back twice got dinners and all thrown around me for walking into a room just because she cant stand the sight of me. Treated really unfairly, you wouldnt treat anyone how she went on. My dad had to ask me to move out as he coudlnt take her acting like that any more. She just hates me and i cant never be good enough for her, for years i tried and tried making myself more upset then when i had mys on the best thing i ever done she still wasnt happy so i cant please her and am not going to try any more. Feels a bit liberating not trying any more. I needed to let go. She makes my life miserable, cant do a thing right now she cant as her mouth is sealed. Dare she come near me with this new baby and treat me like crap i will not take it. I give her respect and i cant understand why for so many years i got none back. her son tells her to f off and he is 32 and leaches off her under her roof on the dole,. I have even given my dad money for being short to help them out and she dosnt know that yet picks on anything i buy even though i can afford it, from a vest for new baby even that got criticise! likes to tekll me how i was in boys clothes hand me downs, yes i looked like a boy as a child and she didnt want me i kjnow that now with al, the years of crap i got from her and jealously. Says i always get dad on my side and steal him away, dad isnt allowed to come and see me for any length of time and she is on the phone roaring at him calling and calling ti9ll he answer about where he is and we onl,y left for like a hospital app. I missed loads when poreg with william, she wouldnt let him take me and i found out the time he was meant to pick me up when calling for him that they where shopping miles away. I wont even go into child hood! you think she had this child when he was born, wanting her name on the birth cert and not my other halfs?? blanks him out for everything to.

 

[StillWaiting]

Well that's it! You are related! They're both nuts.
I do have to say, that what you write, is like reading the pages of my own journals a few years back. Luckily my Mom has calmed down a smidge... but I do think the anti-depresants help to calm her for a few hours. Distance also helps. Either way I'm good.

I hope your Mother steers clear. You're right. Your children don't deserve that treatment. Bad enough we have had to endure it ourselves.

Like I said, I can only offer a suggestion based on my own experience. I'm sorry if I upset you any.

 

[Dragonfly]

No yoiu didnt upset me at all i can talk about it and feel better because she dosnt speak anymore where when she was speaking to me i would be upset all the time and frustrated. She isnt on any tabs to shut her up just pure stubbornness and looking to be the victim in all this like always. She refuses to stop doing what she does and play nice, just will not do it. Left me no choice. I feel I broke a cycle though, I do not care truly any more. I have enough to be happy about and sick of her ruining it and dragging me down all the time with negatives. I washed my hands. It feels good. Though sad it wasnt like me and my gran she brought me up mainly as mum wasnt bothered with me and she was really nice. I am partly named after her. And glad she was around till she died when i was a teen, broke the family up that. me and my aunt made up though as my mum had her against me for years and fights etc. I was just in the middle being the fougyt about subject being accused of being the town bike and a druggie and pregnant when i was a virgin non drug teen. Nice mother i have, worst was the one she spread when I was 24 about me being a herion addict because 3k wasnt enough for her from the sale of MY house i sold and she put me up for a month and I fed myself and paid her rent. That was a massive fall out. My brother was in on that, both admitted jealously because I was happy and had money and they wanted it all. They told my whole family and they never looked at me and still dont bother with me, i think they know its a lie though i dont know but since i had william i seen them a few times.

should have seen her when she coujnd out my granddad and aunt got me moving in present for my new home! how much was it, where did it come from, what make was it what was on the box, gauging how much it was! i didnt tell her hung up, she totally misses the point. Yet buys pound shop crao for me when on hols like a facecloths and nikes for my bro. There is such a difference in treatment of me and my other two siblings! i feel like i ruined her life. Telling me my gran hated me thats why she ignored me, said i wasnt good in the family as girls where no good and thats how my Russian gran thought, I never spoke to her for years as I was scared and told she left me places but i dont know if that was true as she didnt speak English and i have more pics of me and my gran together and none of me and my mum. Irish gran was one that looked after me other was in Holland who we visited a lot.

Well I would never do what she done on my son or next child and she thinks she was right and cant do wrong hence the parenting disagreements. She wouldnt let my son play, he isnt allowed a thing and gets barged at and called bold and he isnt. Not in the slightest. He isnt allowed in hers we have agreed (with OH) we dont like how hostile it is and how much of a danger she is he isnt allowed there or with her. She dosnt ask anyway she dosnt care.

 

[StillWaiting]

I'm glad that I didn't upset you. I do worry sometimes as I have a tendancy to type/speak before I think. I'm also glad you can talk about it. I wasn't able for so long. Just had to act as if nothing was wrong.

One day, my father finally took the last of it, and put her in her place. I hope the same for your father. Sounds like he needs a bit of strength too.

GL!! I hope the rest of your time is more quiet.

Oh and given the prior conversation, I say name your baby what you will. She probably wouldn't be happy with you giving the baby her name either.

 

[Dragonfly]

Well this pregnancy most of it has been quiet since her sulking, apart from wishinhg that i looked like my slim 16 year old sister so i could fit in to her hand me downs, I am small and curvy my sis is like a bean pole with no tits and ass and dresses like a 7 year old as she has autism but my mum wishes I looked like her and never fails to say it when I am even pregnancy. bare in mind this woman is well over 20 stone and under 5ft! she eats everything, very greedy. goes to all these slimminmh things to keep my dad happy but manages to go from over weight to morbidly obese since starting it 12 years ago. Likes to drag me down if i am slim or fat dosnt matter she will point out and say I am this and that and mask it by saying "am only saying" because that takes an offensive comment away. She would never dare say any thing like that to anyone on the street she knew! she knows fine well what she is at when saying it to me. I do not want my child having much to do with her at all, to much scolding for nothing and you cant be a kid at all around my mum you just arnt allowed to. What a miserable childhood i had, no pics of me smiling always sad or crying and scared.

She even gets jealous about here i live, thinks i should be in some dump somewhere even though i can well afford where i am she just not happy. Never is or will be. feck her lol

 

[mommytobe1]

don't worry about people getting offended, but if you like the idea of using someone on your dads side what about something like
Natalie instead of Natasha?
or using Natasha as a middle name ?

 

[Dragonfly]

Dont like any of them names,. ok not that i dont like em they arnt for our baby . We have names choosen and I know rightly there will be a row anyway regardless but I am not choosen names that I do not want to. I know one of the middle names if its a boy will have my mums face turn, actually any name and her face will be in disgust she dared say anything last time as Darrens dad was dead and no one used his name and we liked his name anwyay. wait till you see the rows! ps I havnt chosen such weird unheard names or anything my mums one for them not me. She may not have the nerve to bitch to my face though as i havnt spoke to her since June I refuse to after her insulting my son in my home during the summer. I just hope my ones wont make it a miserable time for me again.

 

[DivaSatanica]

If this LO had been a girl, I was thinking Eden or Evangeline.

 

[Button#]

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time

A few of my faves are

Georgina
Lydia
Cora
Nancy
Pippa
Penelope
Margerat
Cordelia
Virginia

 

[Etoille]

There is a little girl at the school my daughter attends who's name is Brielle. Gabrielle without the Ga. lol

 

[Wallie]

There is a little girl at the school my daughter attends who's name is Brielle. Gabrielle without the Ga. lol

I was just about to mention Brielle. I was surprised when I heard this name the first time and couldn't say I really liked it, was just intrigued. Now I rather like it and it's on my list of baby names for the future.

Sorry you have a hard time with your mum

I would never tell anyone other than my OH my list of names as it's between you and the babys father to decide, no-one elses. Once you've made the decision and made the announcement no-one has the right to say a word (in my opinion). If they're not happy about what you've called the baby they can have one of their own and call it what they want!!!