pets dying and children crying!

[theresarhuebb]

today my daughters pet budgie died. not sure weither my 3yr old killed it or he just died. was only under a year old.
she didnt quite understand and we didnt tell her off as we really werent sure if it were her,
anyhoo had to pick my 4yr old up from school and daddy had to tell the truth she bubbled her lil eyes out i was gutted for her. gettin two new budgies to help her deal with it, and picked them names (charlie and lola)
although thsi took her mind off it. it didnt stop her crying tonight. i didnt expect her not too. but i just feel so gutted for her. couldnt help cry my self (pregnant)
i had to leave her curtains opened as i told her the star in the sky was pauly. we later heard her tellin him to come back as she missed him.

how did you deal with with your child berief and how did you explain it.

 

[PepsiChic]

my parents were very honest with me when my pets died. They would give me a box to decorate and then wrap the pet up in tissue paper and put it in the box and they would help me make a cross (normally out of sticks from the garden), then they would dig a hole and i would put the box in the hole and we would cover it up.

by being part of it i learnt the process of growing old and dying quite young, i also felt that i learnt responsibility, and how to cope with grief easily.

my parents never went out and bought a replacement pet straight away, i guess personally i dont agree with it, nor with childer that young having a pet because they just dont understand the responsibilities nor how to handle or care for it properly. it'd be terrible if your 3 year old did kill it. i was 10 when i got my first pet and it was a hamster, although i did grow up witht he family cat, but was never allowed alone with it till 6 or 7 years old. thats when i was allowed some resonsibiltioy and it was my job to feed her and may parents job to make sure i did it.

i will be raising my son the same way. to this day i have had many animals, lost some of them to death along the way and loved all of them. i take great pride in who i care and treat every animal i come across i really hope my son does too!

 

[kiwimama]

I probably wouldn't buy a replacement pet straight away either. Often the first experience children have with death is a pet and how they are guided to deal with that can lead them into how they will deal with deaths in the family in the future (grandparents perhaps.)
When this happens for us, I suppose I will be making sure my kids know that when someone or something we love dies, it is completely ok to cry, it shows that we loved them and that although they aren't with us anymore, we have lots of memories that will never leave us.
Personally, I wouldn't bury a pet in a box in the backyard, just because of how long they take to decompose (sorry). I'd more likely want to take it to the vet and get it cremated and then take the ashes home with me. Then either keep the ashes in a nice wooden box (she could decorate the box?) or bury or scatter the ashes. I'd have a little ceremony, just a few words, tears and goodbyes.
Sorry you're having to go through this, it can't be at all easy to see your little girl so upset, but do remember it's a natural and healthy part of grieving, just be there for lots of hugs.

 

[Tegans Mama]

I agree, I wouldn't buy replacements straight away as they are never as good as the original. not sure how I'd deal with your LO's grief, I would just be honest x

 

[Always&4ever]

When our cat died, we were all gutted, all you can do is let them talk if they want to.

 

[theresarhuebb]

my parents were very honest with me when my pets died. They would give me a box to decorate and then wrap the pet up in tissue paper and put it in the box and they would help me make a cross (normally out of sticks from the garden), then they would dig a hole and i would put the box in the hole and we would cover it up.

by being part of it i learnt the process of growing old and dying quite young, i also felt that i learnt responsibility, and how to cope with grief easily.

my parents never went out and bought a replacement pet straight away, i guess personally i dont agree with it, nor with childer that young having a pet because they just dont understand the responsibilities nor how to handle or care for it properly. it'd be terrible if your 3 year old did kill it. i was 10 when i got my first pet and it was a hamster, although i did grow up witht he family cat, but was never allowed alone with it till 6 or 7 years old. thats when i was allowed some resonsibiltioy and it was my job to feed her and may parents job to make sure i did it.

i will be raising my son the same way. to this day i have had many animals, lost some of them to death along the way and loved all of them. i take great pride in who i care and treat every animal i come across i really hope my son does too!

well you see it was a family pet for everyone not just my 4 yr old and only me and my partner cleaned them and fed them the only responsibilty she had was talking to him, i thought telling her the truth was best as shes quite a clever little girl.
my daughter who due to turn 3 next month (if she did do it) isnt as clever and we'd left the room for literally a second. normally the bird is up out of her way but thta day we were cleaning him. as for buying another it was just a decision we made. were only 24 and thsi is our 1st time dealing with this sort of thing. id never give them responsibilities as there both far too young for this. thanks for your advice x

 

[pinklizzy]

We give these leaflets out at the vet practice where I work, may help? https://www.scas.org.uk/files/Children%20and%20pet%20loss.pdf

 

[xoxsarahxox]

tbh when i was younger and my pets died i always found that a replacemnet took my mind of it straight away. so i found that getting a new pet alsmost straight after made me feel better. as a 4 year old i think a new pet would just make me forget about the dead one :/ x

 

[mom22boys]

It is so sad when a special pet dies. I really think it is a good life lesson. It helps them deal with bigger "death" issues like a grandparent ect.

I think they need time to deal and process it. I usually end up going and getting a new pet.

 

[theresarhuebb]

shes took it really well to be fair she did cry that night her birdie died. and recently her nannas dog had to be put down. but since we dont go down often we've not told her. specially since its only been a few weeks. but she knows hes up in the sky as our north star x

 

[purplerose]

I understand the feeling. As seen in my sig below I lost my beloved cat of one year (he was hit by a car on Christmas night).

I have blamed myself of his death, he refused me taking him inside the house when I was ready to leave (My OH and I went to his parents) that night and my mum a half hour after OH and I left tried to call him inside and he didn't come. She found him in the morning in the gutter.

It is hard you know and I bet for your little ones they are still missing their birdie baby, even when replacing the animals there is nothing like losing that special bond with your pets.

I still think of my cat often and there is a few things that remind me of him.

 

[theresarhuebb]

aww bless thats horrible specially at christmas. yeh they do still ask for him all the time spec when the stars are out! i was kind of attached to him as well started a little bond. with me feeding him and handling him its a bird i know but still!! i dred my cats being knocked over there my babys too. x

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I am dreading this. My dog is nearly 15 and very frail My kids LOVE her so much

 

[CrazyCowgal]

our pit died the night new yrs and our lil one cried her eyes out. he was old 14 yrs and she is 10 so he was there from the forst day..
she is still sometimes really quiet and when i ask her whats goin on she says she is thinkin about kimba and that she is missin him. i think pets are family members and we all do miss them..
talkin to them is the best u can do and explain why it happened..